That random feeling

[M_anon]

Friday night I tossed and turned- restless sleep.

Saturday I awoke feeling drained, defeated, worthless... I showered without thinking and dressed the same. On my way to work, I had a thought I won't speak on. An hour into my shift I was crying because of how I felt. I was also getting angry because the feelings came for no reason.

There weren't any underlying circumstances. I wasn't stressed out more than my usual. I wasn't happy, happy. Yet, I was cool. So why now? SMH I left work (risking my employment) and saw my therapist. I made a decision to check myself into the hospital. I didn't.

Life won't stop because I need a break and when I would have been released, I'd have to work OT to make up the days I missed. I'd have to catch up on all things missed. Wouldn't that make the stress levels rise?

It's Tuesday now. I'm finally able to mean that "I'm okay" statement even though I'm not good. Okay is better than terrible. I'll take it I guess..

[Glittergal9]

I can relate to wanting a break cause life, just keeps rolling, but I feel the same, not worth getting behind

[Emanname]

your post is more than relatable!

[AOCBurnerAccount]

I definitely had a similar experience on the 7th of this month... I had to leave work after crying for 40 minutes. My boss has been really supportive and has a little bit of an idea of what's going on and talked to HR for me about getting Family and Medical Leave (FML, ironically). If you have the opportunity to use it, definitely use FML. I found out that at my workplace, I'm eligible for 480 hours (12 weeks) of time off if I need it. There's also federal emergency leave in the US, which at least protects your job. It's unpaid from what I can tell, but if you need the time off, then you just do.

I'm curious why you chose not to check yourself into the hospital after you had decided to? Hospital stays are never fun, but they are a sort of break sometimes. But I'm sure you had reasons (also hospitals are expensive sheesh).

[LostInThoughtsCA]

your health is more important than your job, always and forever. You have to live and be well to be able to work. I did check myself into the hospital when I felt like nothing else was helping. It’s this kind of feelings that scare me the most you know, when I think nothing can help and it’s all just the same and nothing will make it better. Like I lost all value in life and all purpose and I will never get it back. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way