Getting sad at night

[_Mr_Nobody_]

I noticed that recently I have been feeling really sad every night for the past week. I don't know what to make of it, I just feel this pain in my chest and I feel like crying but I don't cry. It feels like the tears are coming but they don't. I'm feeling it right now (it's 23:43 here as I type this). Nothing that I usually do to help ease the feelings is working. I don't want to go through this ever night anymore I just want it to end.

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Please don't end it. I've been there. Many times. It gets better. Do you have a therapist or provider available to you? I think that could help. Hugs

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The night time is without a doubt the absolute worst part of each day for me. It becomes so crushing that I literally don’t know what the fuck to do like it’s almost to the point where the depression is so bad at night that I’m starting to wonder if I’m going off the deep end like just bat shit crazy because I can’t keep feeling this way every night this intensely and stay sane you know so now the depression is colliding with my sanity and I have no one that I feel like I can talk to you because no one I know feels this badly the way I do and all I’ve been trying to do is find some kind of support group whether you walk in like an AA meeting or a zoom group where you could talk to a bunch of people that know exactly how you feel and it doesn’t fucking exist and I’m gonna fucking snap like I’ve spent hours searching online and you just go in circles chasing your tail. You know it’s either some group that cost money or it’s some thing that you’re kind of makes sense but it’s not what you want and then you just fucking give up because you were already fucking fed up right like my patience level is fucking -20 and I’m still trying to fucking find some thing and one day someone is going to come along, And fix this fucking broken system, which makes believe that there’s so many resources that can help you and it’s all fucking horseshit. It’s just double talk and and ineffective crap that seems to be run by people that don’t feel like we do and you know maybe it’s going to take one or more of us to fucking change the system because it’s fucking broken man and I’m I’m running out of time and patience.