My wife always threatened to call the police and file another false report if I tried to leave. In 2005 I presented divorce paperwork after being together 2 years, she called the police and said I had a gun pointed at her. Imagine my surprise when the SWAT team showed up and arrested me while I was playing a computer game. After quickly realizing the system was about BS and guilty unless you could you prove your innocence I took a plea to reckless endangerment. In 2017 I had had enough of being a prisoner. I had become an alcoholic, tried everything to make her miserable enough to leave me. Nothing worked. I packed up our 32 foot camping trailer and tried to leave. She cleaned out the bank account and I had to borrow money to return home. Once home I decided to try and live on the South end of my property. The alcohol and anger of being a prisoner drove me to tell her to get out of my house. In the subsequent divorce she called and had me arrested for abuse 3 times. Constantly fighting false reports and living on the side of the roads eventually the charges were all set as won't charge. There is no such thing as dropping the charges. I went home to see my kids. She was on the phone asking someone if she could shoot me. I just wanted to talk to the kids, the center of my universe. My youngest daughter asked if she could stay with me. I said yes, just pack up some clothes. That infuriated Julee and she came out pointing a gun at me. She had called the police saying I was abusing her, but luckily I had been recording video from before I came home. They arrested her. The kids were distraught and wanted me to bail their mom out. I went to her bond hearing and told them that, as is true, being in jail is useless she needed mental help. They reduced bail and her mother bailed her out. I picked her up with the kids. On my daughter's birthday she once again tried to kill me. I yelled at her to get out of my house, so she called the police and said I had assaulted her again. Once again I was arrested. This time I bailed myself out. Eventually the divorce finalized, and since I was homeless and of course assumed to be an abuser she got primary custody, 90% of the sale of the house. I was homeless another year due to the depression, living in the Arizona desert again. When I decided to get up and start my life over I started dating in Houston. Another stalker attached to me. I moved back to Oregon, and she showed up there. I sent her home. I mistakenly called her and she showed up again. I tried to have a protection order put in place, but since I had waited too long they wouldn't allow it. You have only a week or so to file. Eventually I decided that I could live with a non-psychotic stalker. She needed citizenship and I was suicidal from the loss of my kids. I married her to help her get citizenship and to have someone around. For 3.5 years I've lived like a Nigerian, filthy house, not being able to buy decent things. Ended up staying with her filthy family in Houston while looking for a house. That came to a head and she demanded a house I told her that would only make my life an even larger hell. I refused to buy it, but she gets what she wants and I bought it to get away from the pit. I've spent the last year living in a moldy 4000 square foot place I've been rebuilding. She demanded children. I refused for a long time, but could not deny anyone the love of a child. Donated sperm for IVF in Nigeria, where they tried to kidnap we twice, second attempt I cut the kidnapper. After he wrecked the car and I stopped his bleeding, paid the police to avoid jail and proved he was heading far away from the destination I tried to escape back to the USA. Unlike the movies the embassy will not assist. Came home and she followed. She had the kids at 27 weeks, spent time in the NICU. Someone reported to CPS all of my jokes and that I went to Nigeria for the sole purpose of killing blacks. That investigation closed 2 days ago. Emu had been asking me strange questions and trying to start fights. When I sent her a photo of the closed case, thinking she'd be happy, she was infuriated and making accusations in text. Realizing she was doing the same thing my ex did I blocked her line, cancelled the phone I had bought her and stayed in the house (she's at the children's hospital 3 hours away, my son is in the NICU again). I've left a ton out. I'm working 2 jobs, trying to get the house to a livable state, making $300k per year, spending every drop on child support and repairing the crap my new wife must have. I have not managed to get above a 1 out of 10 in life happiness since losing my 3 children. Now I'll lose 2 more. I can't think straight. Depression is constant. I know it's my own fault, I seem to attract self-absorbed women who want a free ride. My self confidence is too low and decent women don't exist. I need peace. I have no friends except my Alzheimer neighbor who I help whenever I can. Paid to have some illegals that she found to help with the drywall replacement. They did a crappy job. Was going to start painting this weekend, but can't find a tool I need to remove the caulking around the windows. Managed to get a light in the kitchen. I find it hard to do anything, I'm so overwhelmed. Working on the crappy cars, the house, the jobs, the kids, etc. Have one working toilet in 4 bathrooms (tore out the others to repair the plumbing and do the drywall work.) I'm doing my best not to drink, but have zero support. I just want to sleep all the time, and only alcohol works or I'm up all night stressing.
I really I want to go back to the desert, the only place I had peace (save for the suicide attempts, which I gave up on). I just want to love something again. Feel my children's happiness around me. Hold them. Without them I'm nothing. All of my skill in electronics and software engineering, pneumatics, hydraulics, electrical, plumbing, framing, automotive, etc seems useless without someone who appreciates anything. Only my son talks to me. His mom tells him I haven't been paying child support. I sent him photos of the $4k per month that comes out of my check. He brushes it off. My oldest daughter blames me for the embarrassment on her birthday. They were all outside when I yelled at her. Doesn't understand her mom lied (and admitted it to the DA). My youngest stopped talking to me 3 years ago. Don't know why. Emu yelled at her for tiptoeing in the house, an insult in Nigeria, treated her like crap because stalkers don't like competition.
It seems every week of my life something happens. Flat tires. Blown out alternator. Something major every 6 months. Kid flown to the NICU. Parent has heart attack. Ex pushing me in the garage and cutting my finger in half with a table saw. Breaking fingers or ribs. Something epic every year. Being kidnapped and having to cut someone up to escape. CPS getting called because I made jokes or spoke simple facts in the hospital having nothing to do with the safety of my kids. Jumping my boat onto the railroad tracks and being thrown through blackberry bushes. Trying to figure out who drained the brake oil out of my motorcycle (ex) when it was out of camera view.
I'm tired of constant crap. It's been this way for 15 years+. I need peace. I need rest. I need someone to hold, someone to help me with things. I'm tired of just "buck up and take it." I need help. Posting doesn't help.
