I don't have the strength to keep fighting

[sopita]

Hello, I feel so bad, there is nothing I can do without suffering a lot of pain, I have so many desires and need to work but I have so much pain in my body, I would like to feel desires and desire to live!! but every day I feel that I am useless, I know I am a horrible and selfish mother for not wanting to continue living, but I can't take it anymore..Thank you,

[-canihelpyou-]

if you need to talk im here

[-canihelpyou-]

your not. You are amazing. Never give up!

[OregonTrail]

I feel this. I get it. I hate to tell you this, but you must soldier on for your child/children. A mom’s suicide destroys a child. I know it’s an absolutely horrible situation to be in. You aren’t a horrible or selfish mother. You’re a mom who is in a lot of pain. I feel this most of the time. Gut wrenching pain. Today I tried to get a sub to cover my classes so I could go home, get in bed, and pull the covers over my head. I’ll try to write more later, but know that I’m holding you in my thoughts. ❤️

[sopita]

Thank you very much!!

I fight a battle every day, if I've been hiding what I feel for a long time, but it's not about that anymore, nothing makes sense anymore. I just lost my job two days ago because I'm in so much pain that I can't do anything without feeling pain, it's so frustrating. I have always tried to be a fighting woman and overcome obstacles and I have had many in my life, but I always kept fighting not to show anyone what I felt or my weaknesses, I can no longer hide it, I have no physical or mental strength, lose my job, not just that job I've had more than 5 jobs in a year, but I can't anymore, I can't. Today precisely, I made a farewell video for my children, I love them! I adore them, but, at this moment I feel that this is stronger than me and I can't take it anymore... I can't...

Thanks for you support..

[Encarnacion1 in reply to sopita]

Please tell me that you are still there! I know your pain and feel like such a wuss when it takes everything I have to get through another day for my kids. Hope feels impossible and I feel so awful that my kids have to have this kind of mother. It's not what I want for them. I am so collapsed and drained like I have nothing to give them and I just want to give them everything. Sometimes when it's really bad I think they are better without me. Or that with or without me, they will suffer. It's the worst feeling as a mother. I feel like no one understands this. No one wants to know. No one knows what to say or what to do. Please just know you are not alone and I promise your children would rather you stick around than the alternative. That's really the only thing that keeps me going honestly.