Meds were not working. So starting from square 1

[rksn]

I've been going through depression for decades without any significant improvement with meds. So the doctor stopped all meds to have a washout period. Now started afresh with 1st line SSRI, 3 weeks ago. I sometimes get minute positive feeling in the mind & body. But then most of the time it goes away. Finding it extremely painful to hang in with hope. Can anyone relate to this and offer support?

[C9elegans]

Sorry you're having a tough time. I'm sure you already know that finding an effective treatment (meds, therapy, ECT, TMS, etc.) requires patience and time. I hope you don't get discouraged, even when you feel like you're starting all over again. For me, it takes about a cpl months to see if a new med is effective (several wks if dosage is changed). In the 'on-ramp' pd, I usually experience mood swings and other side effects. If I can't tolerate a side effect, I immediately let my psychiatrist know and we make adjustments. I suggest monitoring your mood, making note of any side effects, etc. Also, temper your expectations. From experience, the meds won't necessarily make you feel "happy" or "positive". They help me feel 'normal' in the sense that I can get out of bed w/o having to force myself, increasing my appetite, not sleeping all day, thinking clearly or being able to decide, etc. Once I'm 'functioning', then I can do things that can make feel happier (like reading, going to concerts, spending time w/ family & friends). I hope your condition improves. Take care.

[rksn in reply to C9elegans]

Yeah, thanks for ur understanding and advice. That's exactly what i need now. To be able to turn on bed and get out of bed without dragging myself. Only people who have gone through this debilitating illness can understand, resonate and help peers. Thank you once again.

[Just_breathe_1]

Do not listen to the person who wrote the answer. They clearly have not been through depression, nor do they understand the difficulty of surviving it. Medication alone is not the answer, agreed. But medication is a very good start as therapy begins.

[rksn in reply to Just_breathe_1]

Absolutely right. Thanks for ur validation. I have a therapist but put on hold due to the severity of depression.

[Pollymandu]

I think that resetting and starting from scratch can be a really valuable thing.

Medication is a good place to start, but as you probably already know, it’s not the complete solution. It’s a good place to get closer to a balance that allows for therapy to help as well.

Those little glimmers of hope are really important to hold onto. They’re valuable wee snippets that show life can change for the better.

Meds can takes months to fully ramp up and make a big difference (up to 6-12months according to my current psychiatrist). But you can notice effects earlier of course.

Maybe you could keep a simple mood diary to track your daily moods or 2/3 times daily if you can. Also note any side effects. This way you can look back and notice that things have either changed or not. And if not, you can discuss with your Dr. Side effects usually get less with time.

Hang in there, I’m glad your Dr is taking you seriously and I really hope those wee glimmers start to grow a little more for you

[rksn in reply to Pollymandu]

Thank you so much for ur understanding, encouragement and advice. Yeah that's what I'm desperately waiting for.... wee glimmers starting to grow a little. I also have a therapist but right now put on hold. Please keep in touch.

[PigletDemos4]

Yes, Life long MDD. Tired!

[PigletDemos4]

Been through many, many antidepressants throughout life, 63 yo. They never seem to last for long periods of time. I am however helpful for the ones that have worked. Otherwise, I would never have known what "good or normal feel like. I just wish they weren't only temporary. Always have to move on to something different as they do not have lasting effects.

[rksn in reply to PigletDemos4]

Thanks for ur understanding. Same feelings here also