Just holding on to whatever doesn't make it worse

[Existing]

Just saw and joined this conversation. Just doing the best I can not to check out. For now, anyway. But getting closer to that decision. Hope this doesn't make anyone feel worse, but I'm tired of having to keep this inside. This town has no support whatsoever; in fact,, it seems to go out of its way to cause people like me pain and suffering with their incompetence and punitive tactics. This place of 7 years now makes sure no one has any kind of help, no qualified people or resources for people to move beyond existing. Existing is my lifelong definition of a "fate worse than death", and thats all I see around me in everything in this place. I can't get out of Hopelessness here, it may as well be the name of the town.

[PeaceNeed]

Ive been going thru hell for the for 6 years the last 3 have been the worst. I want out. Im stuck in a world thats passed me by and changed so violently I cant cope.

[Existing in reply to PeaceNeed]

Oh I know.. thank you for sharing those very personal feelings of anguish. I know.. and yet I feel like I might have something for you.. I'm old now and while I feel like my life has all been a waste, and yet there is a passion in me that is like an act of God that needs to be fulfilled through me her. I know exactly what it is, but after so many years of defeat and hopelessness, I can't see any possibility of moving beyond where I am. But today something powerful intervened that suddenly put new ideas of possibilities I haven't had for so long.. just saying that spark of hope didn't come from me, but it was the hint specific to what I need to keep living.In response to your statement "I can't cope", you can cope. You can because you are by not being dead. But why would we want to try? I'm asking you to hold a bit longer for that divine spark of hope, and listen for it and to it.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hugs. I miss the options of living in a place with services. I just can't handle the stress of living there. Yes I too am swimming without a life jacket. Do you binge watch anything? I am looking for something new.

[Existing in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Good redirection there. Getting lost in something does help. I'm not into series these days, maybe ever. Movies but I never re,ember the names. Nothing new, but American Hustle is probably my favorite. Have you seen it?Also a podcast