Advice again

[paul1960]

Just lost the will to run at the moment. Cant seem to get out there and run it just does not feel important any more while my wife as cancer in my head I wont to go out and run but it's just not happening I suppose the feelings I have are normal the wife is telling me to go out and run but I cant.i realy dont know what to do I hate feeling like this what can I do is anyone else going through the same kind of situation been running for 2 years now and I dont want to throw it all away lost 5 stone and I was feeling great trained for the Manchester marathon got to 20miles I tried to run the oth other day and 25mins nearly killed me what do I do please any advice would be much appreciated

[roseabi Ultramarathon]

Dear Paul!!

I think you need to take it more slowly. What about if you say to yourself that you will just try a very short run - say just 10 minutes? It really looks to me as though running will do you good, and your wife supports you too! Take baby steps, and you can build up gradually to where you were before, but even 10 minutes will do you good and help clear your head. Please give it a try!! xxx

[2718281 Half Marathon]

Hi Paul,

First, I think you don't have to run if you don't feel like it. I have not been in your situation and I cannot imagine what it's like. But I know that cancer turns your life and all your priorities upside down, and it might be good to bring some normality to your life (and your wife's, also) by seeing you doing normal things. Roseabi suggestion might be a good first step, even if you just go out for a walk!

[Irishprincess Administrator Half Marathon]

Paul, what about putting on your running shoes and just go out for a walk. No pressure at all to run but try to go somewhere nice, maybe a park or somewhere with trees. Just walk around and if you feel like it then try a little run. It doesn’t have to be for long and just stop when you feel like it and then walk some more.

Even if you don’t run much at all the fresh air and walk will hopefully make you feel a little better. But I bet you will run!

Take care x

[cheekychipmunks Half Marathon]

Paul, you’re going through what is likely to be the hardest time in your entire life. It’s entirely natural for you to feel like this, but running is clearly on your mind. ❤️

As others have said, take the pressure off “having” to and simply go out for a walk in your running gear. If you feel like a little run, do so - for however long or short a time you want. It doesn’t matter. You might find you enjoy it, and you’ll do a little more next time. 🏃🏃

Your wife wants you to run, so do it to please her, and if you do I’m sure you’ll feel clearer in the head. You’re right, you’d done so unbelievably well, and it would be sad to let it all go.

Tiny baby steps, but try it for you and your lovely wife. And us. We want to read about happy Paul again and we’ll support you all the way.

Take loads of care. 🏃

[Decker Ultramarathon]

Paul your situation is so tough. But like Roseabi says, giving yourself short runs may help. If you’re out for 10min and still not feeling it, head back. Maintaining some healthy habits will help you clear your head and be in better shape to look after your wife. One step at a time.

[Hidden]

I think sometimes that people feel guilty about doing something that they enjoy at such a tough time. It's like you are being disloyal when your soulmate (and you) has had such devastating news.

Maybe try and reframe. You could go running to give your wife a break and some time on her own. You could run to help your stress levels, so that you can be there for the missus. You could run to demonstrate your faith that your life together will go on. You could run to the shop to buy some flowers. You could run so that you can be strong and healthy, to keep everyone going. You could run to show the blinking cancer that your family will not be beaten by this.

As others have said, just a slow and steady, no pressure jog seems right just now.

All the best

Helen

[Couchpotato2 Marathon]

I'm really sorry Paul to hear about your wife. You know that you'll feel better for a run and indeed it will likely help you help her. Some days are really hard though. Things that have helped me: new routes / running on trails with a coached group, i signed up so had to go (Run the Wild) / just going out for 20' and not worrying about time or distance. NRC app have 5' runs, 10', 1km, 1 mile. When you can just go and maybe try and not over think it or necessarily have a goal. take care

[linda9389 Administrator Marathon]

Twenty five minutes was a long run - not so long ago you would have been rightly pleased with that. I imagine it's hard to feel pleased about anything right now, but I think that was a great achievement. Be kind to yourself. No pressure. Short runs to blow away some cobwebs. Nothing more. One day at a time. Take care.

[Hidden]

Running has become something ingrained into your schedule, it gives you goals and satisfaction of achievement. However, at the moment running provides no goals as everything is understandably focused on what your wife needs and her on going journey. The news was, I imagine, devastating and takes time to work through. In my experience, I wanted to run for the headspace but had no energy or motivation anymore. It was like everything had been sapped out of me. But I knew I would feel better having that headspace to sort my feelings of upset, anger. So I made myself go out but slowly, no distance in mind and accepted I could walk if I needed. My legs felt like lead and sometimes I cried during my run. But I needed that time alone to work my feelings out and work out my strategy for moving forward. Over time I came back to running feeling clearer and stronger. You too will get there. Think of it as just a little 'you' time to in effect be a better person to support your wife. I wish you both well on your next journey together.

[misswobble Marathon]

Go out and run. It’s not selfish. It’s needed You can best look after your wife if you’re taking care of yourself too If you’re running and getting tired then chances are you’ll sleep better. I expect you’ve been worrying so much 😟