Reflections

[Sqkr]

I was a bit concerned about my ability to pick up where I left off with running, it's been sporadic at best for me lately and I've not really done any proper long runs since October. There have been a few maintenance runs, the sort that are really not that enjoyable because I've been slotting them round life out of pure necessity--a few k at lunchtime, just to get my eyes away from a screen, a lap or two round the park when I'm already feeling tired. That's not why I run, I'm an open space runner, the joy comes from pelting in an inadvisably uncontrolled way over brae and muir, not trudging round the beige houses near work, and I was in danger of losing some motivation. I've been fretting about it to be honest, as this is my favourite running season and feel I've been wasting it. For the first time the guilt has definitely kicked in.

But I got out yesterday, tissues in pocket and head whirling, and immediately remembered how important running has become for me. Over my hill--which acts as both friend and foe--with the cool air prickling my skin and the breeze in my face, just me and some shouting crows and the gentle candy coloured sky. It felt perfect. Nothing had really changed, I got a bit stiff at around the 10k mark and slowed a little, but it's been so long since I went further than 5k I didn't worry too much.

I was so happy when I came home, my head felt settled, it was lovely out and I was still fit enough to move the way I wanted to. I felt very proud of myself, with the close of 2018 I had completed my first year of 'proper' running--from my first ever 5k race on the 13th January right through to accidentally doing 2 half marathons within three weeks, and now I had started my next year the right way too. I got in the door and put on my 2018 medals like an idiot, and clanked about the house for a bit before having a triumphant epsom salt bath, whilst eating some 15p mince pies (Tesco Finest with Courvoisier--a post-Christmas bargain).

So, the moral of this waffly tale is not to put too much pressure on yourself, if you can't get out to run don't fret. It will wait for you. And when you get back to it it will be even more lovely than you remembered

Here is a wee relive, I'm still not tired of watching these. It always makes it look such a long way! relive.cc/view/2048691971

[Tbae Metric Marathon]

Beautiful reflections by our newest woman of steel.

Love it, and the don’t fret, it will wait and even more lovely than you remembered.

Love it all , medals, mince pies, brandy🤔,oh my, your just a super trooper Sqkr.

So pleased for you and your passion, what a journey and your recent tough time,we are lucky to have you on here as part of the Admin team.

But never forget that you are such a talented runner Sqkr.,it is just special/amazing to witness your achievements.Keep clanking those medals.👏👏👊

💥🏃‍♀️💥☄️☄️

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to Tbae]

Aw thank you Tbae, I certainly hope to carry on clanking for a bit yet, and will no doubt be bringing you more treat-based anecdotes too 😊

[SaskAlliecat Half Marathon]

I love watching people's relive videos! What a pretty place to run; a great start to the year Sqkr!

[over61andstilltrying Half Marathon]

Wow! Wow! And wow! What your legs had in them after limited running seems simply amazing to me! Wonderful! Your relive video is great and the photos as well. I am definitely a sight seeing runner. (Aw! Did I call myself a runner? I shouldn't have done, just someone who has begun to run) I love beautiful views while running and that feel of my body free to run in a way that I thought was reserved either for little children or for runners. Your, "It felt perfect. I was so happy. I felt very proud of myself. It will be even more lovely than you remembered." Say it all! Wonderful! Happy New Year and all the very best for your onward running journey. 🏃‍♀️🎉🍷🏅🏅🛀🏃‍♀️

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to over61andstilltrying]

You did indeed call yourself a runner, and rightly so! 😄 I love turning a corner and seeing something that takes my breath away (in a good way!) or which makes me smile. I think even on a really familiar route the changing seasons can still do that, getting out and about in running shoes frames the world so beautifully for us 😊

[Irish-John Marathon]

Love it! 😊😊😊😊😊

A very happy new year to you and yours 😊

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to Irish-John]

And to you too! 😊

[roseabi Ultramarathon]

How did you escape from those Tribbles?? Terrifying!!!!

Such gorgeous views! I'm glad you've got your mojo back xxxx

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to roseabi]

I was rather surprised to see them 😅 I've no idea how long they had been there! They clung on pretty tight too.

[LoungeLizaard]

Sounds like what I’ve been going through..... having no time, life constantly doing what it can to trip us up...... slotting in what I can, but knowing it’s not nearly enough....

Lovely write up and views ❤️

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to LoungeLizaard]

I think even a tiny bit is absolutely enough if it's all you can fit in round life!

[Lordi Marathon]

Have you thought about "running" (walk/running) some of the long distance trails like the Camino de Santiago? It's on my to do list this year (again! ☺) Cheap flights, food, booze, accommodation and a bit of culture thrown in!

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to Lordi]

Ooo I haven't, but that sounds amazing! I will definitely look into that. I think I'd like to try at least one abroad running thing a year, so that could be next year's goal 😃

Oh wait no! I forgot next year's goal is a marathon! We thought new York originally but are considering our options...maybe Greece instead! But after 2020 I'm up for anything. Almost.

[C3PO Marathon]

I love how you talk about the hill as your friend and foe. What a wonderful perspective. I think I'll have to borrow it. I live on a hill that I generally think of as my foe, but it is the hill home, so maybe I have to look at it as my friend too.

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to C3PO]

I curse it as I ascend, but my eyes go all sparkly as I come down the other side! Hills. They add the fire and spice to a run! And give you calves of steel too 😁

[linda9389 Administrator Marathon]

Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. Hope you find lots more time to feed your running soul this year

[Sandraj39 Half Marathon]

Just the post I needed to read Sqkr, having not run since 3 December due to horrible flu lurgy!😫 I am counting the days until I am well enough to run again and the words "It will wait for you..." really resonate and made me feel quite emotional (in a good way!). It is waiting for me and it won't be long - so glad you are getting back to your longer runs too.🙂

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to Sandraj39]

I'd say take all pressures away and just run for the sheer enjoyment of getting the wind in your hair on your first few runs back, especially as you've been off with something so nasty. Aside from the lovely feeling of letting your limbs unfurl a bit, you will be pleasantly surprised by what you can manage! 😊

[aliboo70 Half Marathon]

I love the views on your relive,where abouts are you? Looks lovely! I love trail running the most by far of all my runs. Well done on a triumphant return and happy New year ! Xxx

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to aliboo70]

Thank you and a happy new year to you too! I live smack in the middle of Edinburgh, but one of the things I love about the city is that it's so small you only have to run a few k to reach the coast in one direction, the pentland hills in another and farmland the rest of the way. I love long run days, they can be so varied. And even better I have Salisbury Crags and Arthur's Seat on my doorstep, which is where I ran for this one Not right over the peak, just the road ascent round the edge—but going right over the top through the squishy bogs is my goal for this year! I've got my Inov8 shoes primed and raring to go 😄

[Sadie-runs Half Marathon]

Firstly, sorry to hear things have been a bit meh with your running, Sqkr, but I am glad to hear that you have found your joy again. You run in some beautiful places! I love winter running too.

Secondly, thank you so much for sharing this post. I could not have stumbled upon it at a more timely moment. My running routine has been really erratic for around 3 weeks now, mostly because of ill health and ensuing fatigue. This morning I was feeling really low, as I had hoped for a quick pre-work run, but was too tired again and slept in.

I guess my running ego is rather fragile as I am starting to worry about how I will make it back and when. Reading your post made me realise how daft I am being, and gave me hope, so again, thank you for sharing your experience.

Happy new year and here's wishing you lots of lovely runs. x

[Sqkr Half Marathon in reply to Sadie-runs]

It's such a compounding worry isn't it, the niggling fear of losing the ability to do something you worked hard for, along with guilt for succumbing to myriad external factors! And it turns out it doesn't take long for that thought to creep in either. But it's never been as long as you think, and with this run I realised that I run as much with my head and heart as I do my body. The latter was a bit rusty, but the former were more than up for it so it just didn't matter at all that I felt a bit creaky at the 10k point. Before I set out I told Mr Sqkr I'd be out for somewhere between half an hour and two hours, just so I could let my feet decide what I was ready to tackle. And it all just came together, it felt just right. Not easy, but so uplifting. And it will all come together for you too 😊

I'm not going to lie, I still ache a bit today, and I had got well beyond the aching stage before! But I love it, it's a reminder that I'm back.

[Sadie-runs Half Marathon in reply to Sqkr]

Thanks Sqkr. This is so reassuring. I shall go out Sunday with the same mindset, not having a distance in mind, just getting out there and running for as long as I feel able, with no expectations, and no negative preconceptions about how it is going to go. Great plan. 👍Thank you so much; your support and sympathy are invaluable! Sharing with people who understand really helps, doesn't it? x

[Decker Ultramarathon]

Another lovely run there Squeak. Such a beautiful part of the world. Great advice too. Happy for you too on being able to get a proper run in. You’ve had so much on the go, you’re amazing for making time at all for the running. But it obviously does you good and is worth the effort.