Would being born with lupus be easier to accept than devloping lupus twenty years or so into a lifetime???if we didnt know any different ,would lupus be easier to accept ?Just from personal experience developing lupus is very hard to accept .Remembering what was is always on my mind.Or ...should we be thankfull we at least have had a couple of decades ,of good health than a lifetime of ill health?I wish there was a pill for acceptance;(
Born With Disease?/Developed Disease?: Would being... - LUPUS UK
Born With Disease?/Developed Disease?
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Erm. Thats a very good question. And 1 that I wish I could answer definitively.
Bt sadly I cant.
However IF I had known that I would develop so many problems with my health that I would have made different choices, lived my life differently. Bt hey . . . Hind site is a wonderful thing x
I doubt it is easy to accept something like this whatever the point in life one gets it. I personally am grateful I'm having it now, rather than before. Of course, I would have liked not to have it at all but what's the point in wasting my energy fighting something that has passed and can't be helped. I'd rather spend my energy in getting to grips with what it means for the future (which I'm still struggling with) and in building that future as it is.
There are amazing stories of courage and hope on this site. Try to let them lift you up - if others can go through this, then so could we, whatever our age.
Hi, I agree with what you are saying. Before lupus I was a health nut and instructed in karate. Now i struggle to go to the classes or to the gym. I had a full life with karate and my day job as an administrator. I have had to give this job up and have lost the lifestyle that went with it. On a positive note I am now training to be a Mentor and have found a wonderful supportive partner. Lupus is an illness or condition but don't let it rule your life. Check out the facebook page Lupus is not HIV for more support from around the world.
I am grieving for what I had before. It's really hard to accept the changes in mine and my family's life. At least we can look back and remember good times. Who knows what's round the next corner?
I just want to have a lupus free Christmas for my children's sake. Xx
I agree ladies 
I'm not sure if either are easy to come to terms with. I was diagnosed at age 31 having suffered with various symptoms since having glandular fever at age 15. So had 16 years of indeterminate problems before finding out what was wrong with me. I'm now 49 and have learnt to accept it. However my 12 year old daughter who is already asthmatic and Dyspraxic from her Dad's side seems to show some of the same problems I had. I am worried that she was born with it because of me and as she hits puberty it is becoming more obvious ! So we might have one either way in the family but I don't think she'd cope any easier than me. Probably worse! Sorry was supposed to be thoughtful answer sounds a bit of a pityfest!
hey helen ... I too had glandular fever @ 15 and I too have lupus and I too had indeterminate problems for most of my adult life ... how spooky ! ... I also am querying my 4 yr old son and lupus as he exhibits lots of the same things I do .. however he did have post viral fatigue caused by a serious illness, so am just wondering if its still lurking .. but thought I would just reply to you and say, I too was like you ...... if that makes sense lol
Hi. Oddly enough my daughter has been troubled by post viral fatigue almost every winter since the age of five. Early winter gets severe viral infection and spends the rest of the winter struggling through. It is spooky how sometimes what we share is so similar.
i have just been diagnosed this year. only had tiredness a little and stiff joints. since being diagnosed i have been given meds thats changed my life forever. i am so ill and fed up i wish i did not know. it seems imo i would not be so terrbly ill if i left well alone.
my life will never be the same again and its taking its toll on me constantly
i got lupus jus before 50. so glad that i did not get it in my younger days. i have children and had a healthy life then.
in reply to tintin49
i have only just found out (68) and I too am grieving but feeling guilty for doing so. At least I had a busy life and managed to pack an awful lot into my life.
So why can't I just be grateful? When I read about you young ones having to cope with family and work I feel ashamed.
But on the other hand I was looking forward to a good retirement and having time for myself.
I suppose I will come to terms with this eventually.
((((Hugs)))) to you all
When i first had Lupus it took me a year to get my head around it,I learnt all i could (it was not easy back 23 yrs ago)I joined Lupus U/K, then one day I thought Lupus can rule my life or I can rule it,I decided to rule it and get on with the life I now have I have made so many friends with in and with outside of Lupus Group (South Wales)Don't waste time looking back
to what was,Yesterday is History,You have today,Tomorrow is a mystery.
And deal with One day at the time.
God Bless
Jan xx
i am like janiceray, had first year where it took over everything
then decided (was not easy) that i had lupus and lupus was not me.
i am glad i did not get it proper till i was about 32.
when i read of children getting this my heart bleeds for them.
my own daughter had it diagnoised aged 19, she has not accepted this.
sadly it will get easier for her when she does.
Thanks to everyone who replied to brave's questions: this is something i wonder about a lot and your comments have helped me
I've consistently been managing symptoms of mainly mild systemic lupus all my life, along with the birth deffects of the drug DES which my mother took while bearing me (affects offsping's internal reproductive organs the way thalidomide did external limbs). My GYN suspects 9 months of DES exposure in vitrio caused me to be born with SLE.
Thing is, I'm 60 this year, but it was only in 2010 that I found out I had been diagnosed with lupus as an infant and while a teen growing up in the usa. my 91 year old mother kept these diagnoses secret all these decades. Meanwhile I'd spent my adult life trying somehow to live a full life with those i care about, working in the uk and being treated by the NHS: all drs said my various symptoms added up to a bunch of normal conditions which were diagnosed by the many hospital clinics I attended. No one connected the dots to identify an underlying primary cause until 2010 when a brilliant lupus experienced rheumy took my full life medical history, diagnosed SLE me put me on plaquenil which has taken the edge off many of my symptoms.
So, I've spent the past 18 months asking myself brave's question, and marvelling at what a diff plaquenil makes for me. And wondering if maybe i could've kept up with my family & friends easier, and if the mix of probs I have, especially in my extremities, wouldn't be so bad now if I'd know about my lupus and been under treatment all my life. Meanwhile, I'm seeing signs of autoimmune issues in several generations of my immdediate family and trying not to jump to conclusions or spook them, while encouraging them to stay on an antiinflammation diet etc. of course the fact my mother has been hypothyroid since menopause, and like me has lichen sclerosus, interests my drs and me.
On the other hand, I've spent 27 yrs married to a wonderful guy with bad crohns disease since his teens (caring for him though major ops and heavy meds while convinced there was nothing really wrong with me haha). We were both vvvvv lucky to have understanding supportive employers who coped with our many absences.
Anyway, for sure I did not find my symptoms easier to accept when I didn't know I had lupus: these symptoms wouldn't really clear up with any treatment either establishment NHS or alternative complementary practitioners threw at them. I was always more or less poorly, which confused me and everyone in my life because i was so conscientious about diet/rest/excercise etc. I blamed myself. Others thought I was probably bonkers. I know all of us, diagnosed or not, know how was tough this is to live through.
Now, on balance, I wish I had known I was living with lupus all those decades: at least then my family, friends and i might''ve had less doubt and confusion. But my experience over the past 2 years plus eing on this forum since it started have taught me that diagnosis is often just the start of great struggle getting treatment that really helps. My conclusion is, whether you know you have it or not, lupus is really hard. For what it's worth my feling is that what's most important is that we keep our sense of humour, give ourselves credit for doing the best we can under difficult circumstances, listen to our gut instincts, take things one step at a time and keep ourselves in perspective....all things this forum has helped me a lot with.: this forum is a life saver! But I doubt I'll ever stop asking myself brave's questions.
not heard of the drug called des.
i know what you mean on family showing symptons.
i suspeact all 3 daughters have signs of this illness
and even my grandaughter.
one daughter has been diagnoised with it.
the others wont go the docs as they dont want to know.
my son has raynulds and i pray thats all he has, he is into sports and stays healthy.
thanks nicky & hi, and i feel for anyone with these family concerns. it's so hard to give family members a heads up re autoimmune conditions without them thinking you're being cranky. your son sounds like he is doing great.
what i tell myself is:
more is being understood about autoimmune conditions all the time, so our younger family members could hopefully benefit from this...if/when they are ready and have the need
DES is an artificial estrogen medication developed in uk and prescribed widely from around the 1930s onwards. it was used for several purposes, but mainly to prevent miscarriages. turned out DES did just the opposite and caused the birth defects i mentioned as well as predisposing these mothers' babies to high rates of reproductive organ cancers especially a very rare vaginal type. when the cancer issue was confirmed in the '70s, DES was prescribed much less and of course all sorts of controversy began, just as if had with thalidomide earlier. DES victims in some countries were more vocal than in others. now as DES daughters, like me, go through menopause, more special predisposition to cancers is being identified. e.g. here have been articles in the daily mail about DES in past few years about this. so far researchers have found no conclusive correlation between DES exposure and autoimmune conditions, but there seem to be legitimate suspicions and investigations underway. i hope i live long enough to see this clarified. the NHS is finally taking DES exposure seriously and has a protocol for monitoring DES daughters like me: my GYN has shown it to me. so, if anyone suspects they are DES children, as your GP or GYN about the protocol....they may not be aware of all this,and may have to do their homework to learn what current NHS policy is on DES exposure.
hi 
soz late getting back had a mare of a week.
i had never heard of this but look into it, its terrible.
do you think this can, cause of the cause of it. { the tabs}
be passed on to your children?
{the cancers}
hope you get justice xx
hi nicky and thanks yes the effects of DES are awful. if you're interested, there is a lot of really good info on the DES Action USA website, which has an excellent forum on yahoo. really wonderful women on the forum, and plenty of legitimate info in the archives. i doubt i'll live to see the day there is justice, but at least des seems no longer to be prescribed so irresponsibly. yes, research is indicating that the children of des daughters (and sons) may indeed be affected by the des their grandmothers were prescribed. and you may be interested to know farmers also were giving it to their cows etc, so des got into the food chain that way...and perhaps is continuing to do so....horrible really
i think mayb ur right if born with it u dont know any different
i was diagnosed 4 years ago am in late 50's i know you shouldnt get it after44. i find this year the worst cant accept it givin up half meds cos i hate takin dem - cant get anyone to listen to me - all i hear is - do u kno how sick u were - which i dont cos lost short term memory and its not dem who have to take them
Hiya
Great question. I have always been ill and was always the child that took a little longer to recover from infections. I was in hospital as a child so frequently that i had a good relationship with the nurses So, the family believe that i was born with Lupus.
I have always found myself having to think of a plan B but that was just normal to me. I have really achieved all that i have wanted to with Lupus and continue to achieve. It really doesnt define me, it just makes the journey getting what i want harder to say the least.
If i do not tell you that i have a debilitating illness, you would not know.
I was diagnosed 18 years ago and have had so many complications from infected fluid around my brain to going to college and uni in a wheelchair, but i ask myself
"What is my alternative?"
I am actually having a difficult week mentally this week with the whole 'Lupus and love' issue that i have but i will work through that.
We all accept our illness in our own time and that should not be rushed, but do not let it define you. Make a plan A, plan B and a plan C if you have to. Enjoy life. Life is to be lived
Love and warm hugs to all
Leish xxx
indeed what is the alternative. when i got diagnoised did not think i would make it to 40. read all out dated books. then the net came along
According 2 'Doctor' Hilary Jones, lupus suffers generally died b4 they hit 30 lol! (Some1 with lupus had written in2 the 'News Of The World Sunday Magazine asking about lupus. This was back in '95) Imagine how I felt reading that, at 17 years old, a year after I'd been diagnosed! Bloody To**er! Needless 2 say I wrote him the Sh*tt*est letter u could imagine telling him how irresponsible he was making such a statement. Every time that man comes on my TV now, I shout swear words (as long as the kidlets r out of earshot!) & swiftly change channel. Thankfully, people r more educated about it now.
ever thought we were all born with it, but never knew we had until diagnosis. i never ponder what life was like before the symptoms as those days are now gone and i enjoy the memories, I concentrate these days on getting through each crisis in the hope that there will be some good times awaiting. i want to wish each and everyone of you a joyous christmas and I hope a better new year.
I was diagnosed with Lupus in 1994. I was in my early 40s. However, as I found out more about Lupus I realised I had been displaying the symptoms for many years. The most obvious one was the rash I got on my arms every time I was exposed to the sun. It was so bad over the years it has left permanent scarring. At the time of my diagnosis the rheumatologist was just about to diagnose MS when he asked about allergies. I said I wasn't allergic to anything and then laughed and said: "except the sun". I was surprised when he went on to question me more closely about this and then did some more blood tests. He then told me I had lupus - and the blood tests later confirmed this.. My first problems with the sun however began away back in 1976 (the really hot summer) and every time I was in the sun thereafter I came out in a rash. I was always the oddball wearing long sleeved tee shirts in a heatwave! So, I reckoned that must have been the start of my lupus especially as around that time I also began to suffer from swollen and painful joints. Then just a few days ago I read that pancreatitis was one of the conditions associated with lupus - and I had pancreatitis when I was 19 - way back in 1970. And then I began thinking - I was admitted to hospital with bad pains in my side when I was about 10. The doctors couldn't find any explanation for this. So now I'm wondering as well if I was born with lupus .....! On the whole I agree that it doesn't really matter, that it's more important to get on with life with the cards you have been dealt. But for years I was aware that there was something wrong with me. A lot of people wrote me off as lazy - especially as I was often complaining of tiredness. When I was diagnosed the relief was just huge. At last I knew what was wrong - indeed, at last it was acknowledged that SOMETHING was wrong. To be honest, I can live with the lupus a lot easier than I could with not knowing!
think you have a good point about being born with it, as many symptons i have now i had as a child. in the sun as a kid would get bad headaches if out in the sun,
also had growing pains sore throats etc.
so prob sub-con-sously [ sp ]
i was very good at sports maybe i knew back then something was not right
and needed to stay healthy. i must have moaned a lot as classed as hyprecondiact
as a kid.
Personally the rheumy that diagnosed me said it was almost certain I was born with it but I wasn't diagnosed until I hit 16. Didn't make things any easier 4 me 2 accept as even though looking back u realise all the symptoms & signs were there from day 1, it was 1 of those things that just seemed 2 b 'triggered off' by something or other & I guess depending on which was u look at it I was either lucky or unlucky that it all the years of crap came 2 a head & erupted. Never had any1 in my family (& we looked back as far as we could) with anything remotely like lupus. My belief is some of us (obviously not people with drug induced lupus or anything like that) just carry a gene or chromosome 4 certain illnesses that either triggers, or if we're lucky, stays dormant. They believe this with the Cancer gene so surely this could also apply 2 other illnesses? :0/
Apparently there is a cluster of genes rather than one, each person having slight variations to that cluster which determines the severity of the disease in the long term. Isn't that amazing? To find out from birth that you carry a cluster of genes which if left alone will trigger lupus of a particular severity and then be given a treatment to correct that? Sounds like SciFi stuff but I'm sure we will get there in the next 10-15 years, after all, who thought Internet is possible 30 years ago?
u've been swotting up ;0) Good on ya girl! It's very interesting. I think when it comes 2 altering genes & cells etc, it's a very dodgy area. I'm kinda swaying both ways in my opinion on that. Imagine being born with some sort of illness (lupus, cancer, ms etc) & then being told that by fiddling about with u're genetic make up, they could remove this illness. I'm sure the majority of us would be 'YES PLEASE!!!!!' but where do we draw the line? U can already have gender selection of u're baby in some countries, next it would b selecting eye colour, intelligence, skin tone etc & obviously, if I was told my child had an illness, I'd more than likely jump at the chance 2 have those cells removed but as I am now, all the things that have happened in my life has defined me & I'm not so sure, if I had the chance whether I'd really want some1 messing with my DNA :0/ It's a funny old thing as they managed 2 make inoculations 2 protect against TB so I find it quite frustrating that they haven't been able 2 do the same with some other illnesses. i guess I'm a believer in fate & what will be, will be. I just have visions of genetic alterations & we all end up some sort of freaky cloned super race lol! Maybe we'd all end up like Dolly the Sheep! Think I watch too much stuff on TV ;0) x
Not at all, it is good to hear arguments both sides otherwise where would we be. I am all for supporting research because even if these controversial issues do not get resolved one way or another, the understanding of the cause of lupus is bound to bring new treatment, so I'm looking forward to that, hopefully in our lifetime.
can i just say to all .....thankyou for all your feedback ,take great care .....always x
@ really. Yes, the rash used to come along every spring and summer as regularly as clockwork. My arms used to get really itchy and yes, you're right, small raised lumps. I could never leave them alone and had to scratch hence the extensive scarring on my arms now. I went to the doctors a few times but they always blamed the soap powder I was using or something equally useless. When I told the doctor that it always happened when I went out in the sun he just told me not to go out in the sun! I never realised at that time that the joint problems were tied in with the rash. As I said it wasn't until I was finally referred to a rheumatologist and made that 'lucky' remark that it all fell into place. Had that not happened I would probably be describing my symptoms on an MS website right now!
Norma 52....M.S and lupus share a lot of similar symptoms,My mum sufferd from M.S but reacted to sun also ,it completely wiped her out ,i beleive my mum sufferd from lupus but it attacked her nervous system?i have sufferd terrible reactions to sun,but from not knowing of lupus or the way that sunlight can be a poision i continued to sunbathe only to always feel like death for days afterwards ,for me sun worsens all my symptoms not just my skin ,i feel like i have the flu afterward ,but having a child and being lucky enough to live by the beach summer is a challenge !i love to swim in the sea and go to the beach ,i think next summer i will get better sunglasses ,a larger hat and wont stay all day at the beach .keep well brave
Yes brave, I know what you mean. I love the sun as well - it just doesn't love me. It just took me years to realise that the rash and the flare ups were all part of the same thing. But I still might not have known had my rheumatologist not picked up on the rash caused by sunlight at my initial diagnosis. Now that I know I'm photosensitive I can take avoiding action. My one is to avoid going out at the height of the sun - between noon and 3.00 pm and to always wear a 60 factor sun cream. I start putting the sun cream on in the spring and just wear it everyday right through to October. So far it seems to be doing the trick.
Personally, I don't seem 2 b affected by the sun these days (was a VERY different story years ago, I ALWAYS used 2 get sunstroke, even with factor 50 on & being out 4 literally 20 minutes walking round!). I went 2 Tenerife in June this year (the first time I'd actually got on a plane & gone abroad, as I don't really count France lol!). I'd always put it off due 2 insurance, worrying about flying cos I'd had a previous stroke & more DVT's than I could shake a stick at, plus I always thought I'd end up getting arrested trying 2 get thru customs with my mountainous amounts of meds. I felt so unbelievably well over there, it was unreal! No joint pain, no headaches, no Raynauds, no muscle problems, no 'corned-beef' looking skin etc, etc, I actually felt totally (dare I say it?) NORMAL!!!!!! Yes, I sunbathed, but I was sensible: used a decent sun factor, wore a hat & keep my fluids right up. It really did do me the world of good. Unfortunately, my Rheumy denied my request 2 put a weeks holiday 2 Tenerife once a year on script 4 me, but hey, it was worth a try ;0)
hahah @ sher78 ......... I asked my lupie for 2 weeks in the Caribbean ... he refused .. miserable git ! lol x
My request ius more reasonable than u're thou jemmyjemjem - it's cheaper ;0) I think if we keep badgering them, they MAY eventually give in. Think that's just a case of wishful thinking there thou ;0) x
I doubt mine will even prescribe a damp caravan in clacton .. especially as my private fees just paid for him to trek the himalayas lol
oh bless u :0( I am determined 2 return 2 the Canaries next year come Hell or high water, I'm saving every penny I can & I WILL go again (we actually got our last 1 really cheap over the internet). Just the thought of it cheers me up :0)
My son is 19 and has had 6 months from hell. He says he would rather die than feel the way he does. I wish that he had not got Lupus and if he could have waited until in his 40's when he had life experience and a reason to get up and motivate himself (children). Whilst I hope he will lead a good life I worry for him and what the future holds.
I now believe he was born with it but it went undiagnosed and although nothing is showing in his bloods I know he has Lupus as he has every other symptom.
He wants to go into nursing now and before he wanted to be in film and television so maybe the Lupus is there to show him his calling. All I know is what ever he achieves in life I will always be very proud of him.
Sorry u & u're son r having such a hard time, it can b such an awful thing 2 deal with. Having youth on his side is a good thing though I think cos hopefully he'll b more determined 2 kick arse & not allow this bloody illness 2 stop him doing all the things he has yet 2 do. Treatment has come a long way since I was first diagnosed in '94 (I had only just hit 16 myself so I can kind of identify with him) & people r much more aware of lupus now than they previously were so hopefully things can only improve 4 those of us with lupus etc Wishing u both all the very best at such a wicked time x
Like Sher 78 I,m sorry to hear your son is having such a bad time. It may not seem like much consolation at present but he has youth on his side. Last year at the tender age of 61yrs I developed flu like symptoms aching joints and muscles eventually I was admitted to hospital and diagnosed with Lupus. Unbeknown to me and the medics the b u - - - r attacked my lungs. I too sometimes feel like your son does, each day I wake up and think this might be the day when I can breathe normally, needless to say it hasn't happened yet but I'm stll hopeful . I'm glad I did't have Lupus when I was younger ( or so I thought). However I feel at whatever age Lupus develops it has a devastating effect on your life. Back in 1970 when I was 19yrs I developed aching joints and muscles which the doctor back then diagnosed as flu, I spent a number of weeks in bed at home and apparently recovered. A year later I had a routine urine test which indicated I had inflamation of the kidneys I was monitored at Hammermith Hosp, Lupus was never mentioned to be honest little was known about it then. I was never unwell, required no treatment or medication and suddenly after 13 yrs the inflamation disappeared. I trained as a nurse and for 42yrs I was rarely sick apart from colds, in other words I was as "fit as a fiddle" until a few days before I retired when I got the "flu". The doctors now feel that the "flu" I had in 1970 was the first signs of Lupus. Lupus is such a complex illness and threfore affects people in different ways. Emma73 your son must retain hope, our bodies work in mysterious ways. New treatments will probably be developed in his lifetime. I'm sure with your supprt he will achieve his goals. Please keep us updated on his condition.
Hi everybody now I,m on a roll now. I am not a scientist but I think we are all born with a genetic makeup, probably inherited along the line that may make us susceptible to developing certain illnesses & diseases during or lifetime. Recently Sharon & Ossie Osborne (he of Black Sabbath) underwent genetic profiling. Scientists wanted to see how/why Ossie had lived so long despite years of drink and drug abuse, apparently they did not find anything untoward, I presume barring an accident Ossie may die of old age. However with Sharon they found genes to undicate that she is at risk of developing three types of cancer in her lifetime, colon which she has already been treated for a few years ago, breast - which she recently had a double mastectomy and ovarian cancer. I don't really know if I would like to know what the future holds for me.
I think i would rather know than worry all my life. One of the things that we have all been frustrated by was the lack of explanation for our symptoms while undiagnosed. I'm not saying we are better now that we know but at least we are attempting treatment to slow down the progression. If we don't know about our genetic predisposition, how can we take preventative measures? Many illnesses are too advanced for treatment by the time symptoms appear, take liver cancer or ovarian cancer for example.
Unfortunately, not all illnesses can be identified at this point from the genetic makeup, for example lupus seems to be reflected in a particular combination of genes but that has not yet been confirmed scientifically. But at least this genetic analysis brings with it awareness of certain predispositions and illnesses within the medical world, many of us are having difficulty with medical personnel that has limited knowledge of lupus, for example.
I think that the environment we live in - with crazy chemicals all around us (aresols, fertilizers, food additives, etc...) must have something to do with all of the anti-immune disorders. perhaps these in concert with the genetic things are what cause the disease to go live in some of us, and not in others.
I have always had allergies - cats, dogs, hayfever, etc - but was otherwise well. After the birth of my 2 daughters I was only working part time, and I had time for exercise and was fitter than any other time in my life. But I began with weird fevers (related to stress?) and then a bunch of funny little things that didn't add up to anything. It was then I was diagnosed with depression and started on anti-depressants. Moved to England from US shortly thereafter and began working full time for the first time in 10 years. Had a series of stresses related to work and family life (not all bad) and then came out with a rash on my chest that took 6 months to diagnose (during the rash I felt horrible - but who stays home sick with a rash). Once diagnosed as DLE I got three months off work to recover (that was heaven).
I do wonder now if I am cut out for full-time work, but as I get a house with my job (a vicar) I am not sure what happens if I say I can only work part-time....I think this is something I will be exploring in 2013, as working full-time takes almost everything I've got. Thank goodness for my husband, who handles all of the household stuff, and 2 wonderful teenage daughters who are understanding.
I think there is some truth in what u say, people years ago didn't have so many problems with infertility, wheat, gluten, dairy etc as they do nowadays. Personally, I think a lot of it has 2 do with chemicals in food & water as well as microwaves (although I still use mine). I never used 2 have a problem with wheat or gluten but 4 years ago I suddenly seemed 2 become very 'sensitive' 2 it & now, if I have a slice of bread, cake, a cookie, cereal etc I feel really uncomfortable 4 a few hours afterwards & end up so bloated I look like I'm 6 months pregnant. Cancer was certainly not as wide spread years ago. When I was younger, u knew some1 who knew some1 with cancer. Now, generally, most of us KNOW some1 with/who has had cancer.
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