Feeling selfish.

[frog]

My stepson is here for the weekend, he is a lovely lad, but he is full of cold and has been off school all week.

I can't help feeling cross and selfish,but I wish some consideration for my situation had been taken into account, as I am very prone to chest infections and pleurisy, and I just don't want to spend another Christmas feeling like death warmed up.

So, I thought I would have a good old moan, as I sit in the bedroom feeling like a leper for the weekend.....

Rant over, like I said I know it is selfish of me, but I can't help but feel cross.

[loopy-lou]

I have just read your blog to my son. I think he feels that I am moaning. He too is full of cold and has sat near me all evening! I have had two chest infections over the last month and like you I don't want another. You are not alone. Hope you stay well.

[Gillyg]

You have every right to want some consideration. The problem is people don't see a cold as any more than a cold. To you it is a totally different thing. I was recently asked by my step daughter-in-law to look after my granddaughter who was ill with croup I did I couldn't not but as my consultant pointed out a few days later it was silly because of higher risk of infection. We are constantly put in the place of them or us situation so picking yourself s not selfish. Take care and fingers crossed for you. X

[Hidden]

Oh dear. How tricky life can be with lupus. I am often fuming at total strangers for coughing or sneezing near me when I am shopping in the co-op. But of course, the rational part of me knows that they can't help being ill. If it was one of my sons who was ill I think my reaction might be more complicated - not wanting to catch his illness combined with feeling sympathy and trying to look after him.

I wonder how infectious your stepson can be now, Frog? After all, the most infectious time in most viral illnesses is BEFORE we even know we have it, and by the time we have had it a week we are mostly not infectious at all. So maybe it is not quite as bad as you fear?

[hazelHollingsworth]

Might be my age (65) but I do not hold back now after many years of suffering through thoughtless people. I go to a slimming world club and I ask anyone who has any coughs/colds or viruses to sit well away from me - I did explain why, and I have never had a problem. I tell them Sorry but your cold could give me pleurisy and I could be in bed for weeks. Never has anyone refused, same with friends/hairdresser and family. They all phone and wanr me not to go for a couple of days, or say is it ok to come when they are getting better. The only time I have 'Lost it' was in Morrisons, as I was walking round this man was coughing all over the place and guess who got him at the back of them in the que? Then he sneezed and I felt they spray. THAT was it. I turned on him and told him through his ignorant thoughtless behavour he had probably infected half the store and apart from 'spraying' his germs down my neck I\will probably spend a couple of weeks in bed. I did say there are loads of people with auto imune problems through no fault of their own. He went bright red then appologised. The cashout assistant said thank you to me and the que on both sides clapped! I ended up feeling sorry for him! bet he uses a Hanky from now on.

So NO you are not selfish and have every right to be cross. Print these letters off and SHOW them to people who don't understand, then they do. Good luck.

[brave]

Wherever their is people there is infection this time of year ,of course it would seem logic to try and avoid ,but sometimes we just cant,with any disease the standard cold for one can proove fatal for the ill,im a hairdresser and have close contact with people all the time ,i never know untill i get to the appointment if their unwell or not ,and just through my personality i would never not do their hair,after all if i dont get paid im in serious trouble ,i need to earn a wage,we live in a germ ridden world,i suppose its about being a bit wary but not paranoid ,good health to us all ,brave

[frog in reply to brave]

Thank you for your reply, likewise I work with the public, and as you say you never know who or what you are going to expect, but I feel that close family should be more aware, and caring, as I unfortunately don't get paid if I am off work, and this just seems to add to my frustration.

But as you say we can't be paranoid, but we should take care not to open ourselves to needless risks.

Oh the joys of Lupus.

[Sher78 in reply to frog]

u aint selfish love, sometimes things can b 10 times harder 4 us than it is 4 every1 else x

[Nightjar]

To avoid infections, I never touch door (or trolley.. etc) handles with bare hands (use a scarf, end of cardigan etc) and at home I have my own hand towels (bathroom as well as kitchen). As a former nurse I learned to wash my hands properly (..up to the elbows!) before preparing any food or drink. As a sensitive lupie, the first thing I do when coming home is washing my hands (..before putting the kettle on!!). I think a lot of infections can be avoided by regular use of soap and water. I don't shake hands with people and after visitors I have been seen to wipe handles and armrests (once they are gone! ) I couldn't care less about people thinking I am paranoid about this. It works for me - hardly ever has a cold. Regarding your stepson, I too think he is probably no longer carrying any harmful little buggers.Still, keep the distance ..no hugs! Hope you are having a nice weekend

[jennyhe]

I have become like that in supermarkets if anyone is coughing or sneezing I tend to go the other way, it realy does bug me why some people have no manners when it comes to hygiene I ahve no idea we were taught as children coughs and sneezes spread dieases and I always made sure my children had tissues I understand people still need to go out when they have colds but so many germs could be avoided by simply following a few simple rules oopps sorry rant finished

[SLE15]

You have every right to want some consideration! I'm sure no one wants you to be miserable at Christmas. I'm sure it'd be better for everyone if you're feeling good,including your partner and stepson.