I’m sooo depressed is unbelievable, I can’t stop crying, I don’t want to be around my kids and especially my partner, I’m always snapping, I be happy for a day, then it goes out the window, it’s doesnt help that I’m not working due to the way my lupus has mess me up ( how I hate you lupus) so being on universal credit sucks , once I get paid by universal credit and I pay some of my bills, I’m broke and have nothing left to live on, honestly at times I just want to die, then I think about my kids and how selfish I’m being, but I feel like no one understand and never will especially my partner, I think it’s better if I leave him, cause all he does is being annoying, but who knows maybe it’s just me.I just feel like I need help and my depression tablet sertraline 50 mg, ain’t doing nothing to my mental stability.
From a sad depress lady 😔
Written by
Tash1987
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
You must go back to your doctor and tell him the medication isn't helping and ask for more help. You probably need counselling too - not just relationship advice but also for the depression.
It is hard living with any chronic illness but especially so when you are unable to work and think your partner doesn't "get" it - and to be honest, lots of them don't unless they have been ill themselves. But a partnership, especially when children are involved, must be a partnership and you both need some help coming to terms with it all and getting things to fit together. Being in a partnership can be hard work even when you haven't got children or aren't ill - but all of you have to work at it to make it successful.
You can get there - but you need more help. I know it is difficult in the UK at present but start with your GP and tell them what you have told us. All of it.
Being a parent when money is tight is hard enough, and to have lupus and an unsupportive partner must make things really tough. As well as approaching your GP to see what extra support might be available, as @PMRPro suggests, there might be some other groups or organisations where you could find support. In some areas, there are family support services that run parenting support groups (not necessarily linked to social services) - and who might be able to give advice on benefits etc. There might also be voluntary groups like MIND who do drop-in sessions for people who are feeling emotional/mental health stress. The hardest part night be taking the first step, but looking on the internet for family support or mental health support for your local authority area might give you some leads?
Don't forget too, that any chronic illness takes its toll, and lupus is a particularly exhausting one. Try not to be too hard on yourself, and share what you can with us here when you feel it might help x
Let us know how you get on. I used to work with a fab family support service and if you have anything like that in your area, I imagine it would be ideal x
Sorry to hear your having such a hard time.I’m sure you are doing the best you can considering the circumstances.I would recommend going back to your GP to see if you can increase the dosage of your antidepressant (if you think that will help).You may want to consider some sort of therapy, have a look at websites like samaritans and mind, they have lots of information that may be of benefit to you.
So sorry you are feeling so awful - often feel the same so you aren't on your own but that doesn't help with depression does it?!? Please do ask for an increase of sertraline, I'm on 150mg now and the rise from 50 - 100 was noticeable, however they really aren't happy pills are they also have you tried any mindfulness/meditation, it really helps me have some quiet time from my mind. I use headspace because the man's voice is sooo comforting, I hide under a comfy blanket and do the meditation and I really do feel a bit better after (usually!). Try doing suduko or crosswords, etc because that forces your mind onto something useful. Do let us know how you get on at the doctor's.
Yes, speak to a UROGYNOCOLOGIST or primary to test your thyroid levels and my age at 40 I was in peri menopause and having depression with anxiety/panic attacks. I couldn’t sleep well nothing. My doctor seen I had thyroid (autoimmune since i have Lupus, fibromyalgia and RA so why not have HASHIMOTO thyroid autoimmune disease. So, literally my thyroid medication (levothyroxine) helped me with depression, anxiety and crying. I had heart palpitations too. I was depressed and sick with my liver (since I take URSO meds to help with SLE autoimmune/attacking my liver. I am now taking Thyroid each morning,
Antidepressant
HRT meds (menopause) estring, estrogen patch, oxytocin (not pain pill OXYTOCIN not OxyContin) and Progesterone 200mg nightly (helps with sleep) BUT ALL NATURAL since it’s important to have our hormones checked and YOU ARE NOT CRAZY it’s emotions, could be easily resolved let doctor test thyroid, and maybe it’s irregular periods, which can be due to either one of the “menopause’s” .
Just think how most docs don’t bring THIS up. Ya just suffer and no suggestions like this. Get it fixed. If you’re a man could be LOW TESTOSTERONE and your hormones. Or thyroid for man too. Just saying could be combination of things THAT are easily fixable. Promise. Try it and have that talk with your doctor or doctors. Ya got nothing to lose. If they say yoir too young to have any HORMONAL IMBALANCES just say I wanna check anyways. And not always showed in blood work to need HRT. A specialist can defiantly help. A gynecologist or like I went n found a UROGYNOCOLOGIST.
Since HRT meds I know longer have UTI’s either sooo that too makes me have had depression and anxiety n no energy to do zip or go anywhere.
Just try. Or maybe you need a combination of an antidepressants or combination of hormonal meds and antidepressants like me. Xanax for anxiety and/or meditation. I even changed from eating unhealthy to healthy. Gluten Free healthy for me. It’s NOT ALL IN YOUR Head. Just keep speaking up and if your partner can’t get it PRINT OUT anything if anything doctors say AFTER you get tested. If your partner can’t understand then think how more depressing it is to keep someone around who does NOT have empathy or TRY to understand or learn what could be wrong or what you could be doing to help yourself understand TAKE CARE OF YOU BEFORE CONVINCING OTHERS YOU FEEL SAD OR WTE. If no sympathy or empathy then ALL THAT NEGATIVITY is causing you sadness and stress that all makes you sicker trust me. Like a cancer that negative person or attitude that shuts you out from being able to lean on your partner for support smh TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL STATE and the rest will fall into place. I know I been there don’t that.
Hi Tash, Oh I feel for you, I know just how that depression feels, even though my situation is a little different. I know how it feels when you believe you are just a burden on people. I know what it’s like to think about leaving your partner. I understand the desire to die and simply be rid of all this. Many of the people on this forum understand how you feel.
Depression is, of course, highly correlated with chronic illnesses, especially when pain is involved. It’s common to get down about being sick. We’ve gotta get support with this—we often feel so alone, like we’re the only ones going through this, but we’re not. That’s why I love this forum! It reminds me that it’s not just me. I may feel alone, but I don’t have to do this alone.
Ditto what others have said about counselling—a little extra support can’t hurt right now—and if you’re not getting the benefits you need from the anti-depressant, it’s time for a review. I’m not medically trained, but I know there’s no point being on a medication that’s doing nothing. You either need to change the dose or change the medication. But a GP or psychiatrist should be able to help with that.
Please remember you’re not alone. We’re here for you. We’ve been in those dark places too. Lean on us until the darkness lifts. ❤️🌻
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
also have you tried any mindfulness/meditation, it really helps me have some quiet time from my mind. I use headspace because the man's voice is sooo comforting, I hide under a comfy blanket and do the meditation and I really do feel a bit better after (usually!). Try doing suduko or crosswords, etc because that forces your mind onto something useful. Do let us know how you get on at the doctor's.
Hi I’m a Man aged 55 advice please 
Red Rash - thoughts? Please help!
Positive ANA but negative double strand bloods?!?! Help!
Unexplained Fevers on exertion, please help advice needed 
