Not sure where to start. Have had Lupus for 20 years so quite used to the ups and downs with the horrible illness. Just lately things are really getting me down to the point of wondering why the hell i am here. The only reason i think i am still here is because of my kids... 17 and 14 ( girls ) My partner of two years says he understands but then says i act like a victim when i get tired because i lay on the sofa.. I also work evening shifts in a local pub and do all the housework with the help of my kids. He has not worked in 2 years and lets me do absolutely everything, whilst he sits and plays on his computer. Writing this down and re reading it makes the answer to my problems clear but my emotions are all over the place. I hate being me and feeling like this. Just want to hide away. Not sure there is a point anymore. Feel so sad and down.