Hi lovely people. I hope that you are all as well as you can be and staying safe and warm in this awful weather.
I have been quiet because life has been difficult lately, health wise and due to the death of my brother in law and a leak which meant a big portion of ceiling and then the whole upstairs bathroom had to be removed.
Today I had a meltdown. I have had to wait five weeks to actually see a GP. I am falling at least once a week, sometimes more. I have crashed through the coffee table, smashed my head on the bath, knocked my front tooth out, torn my hamstring, blackened my eye and I have bruises all over. I am weak and shaky and nauseous and my hand pain is just awful despite wearing compression gloves day and night.The large sore in my nostril is blocking my nose and bleeding sporadically. I feel awful.
The GP who I had not seen before arrived 35 minutes late.She did not even look at me just at her screen. She said well there are lots of things going on with you, let’s deal with the biggest or we will be here all day 😡 I told her that I had self referred to physio and had got an appointment with Orthopaedics next week. She sighed and said well they won’t do anything for you. Look at the size of your legs. You are far too obese they will just send you away again.😡 Then she tried to take my BP. The machine showed an error. She sighed and said my God your arms are enormous. Look at the size of this cuff, it is the very biggest they do and it still won’t go around the size of you🤬. I lost it. I said how dare you bloody fat shame me. Try living my bloody life. I came here feeling 💩 hoping for help. I don’t ask often but I feel so unwell and all you have done is imply that I am the problem. Stop me falling and I will get back on the treadmill but now the Physio says my legs are so weak I should only exercise sitting or lying. She looked shocked and said sorry about that🤯😤 I was fighting back years. Then she said oh you are under Mental Health ah that makes sense???😦 I came out with a tube of Nyseptin and a diagnosis of post viral syndrome o also known as TAT ( Tired all the time)
I have lodged a formal complaint. It won’t help me but at least might think twice about speaking with no respect to someone who feels to desperately unwell
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CecilyParsley
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I should say words fail me but sadly they don’t . Absolutely disgusting , shameful and heartbreaking for you . I wish I could say something to make you feel better. You deserve to be treated with respect , kindness and most importantly to be treated seriously . None of that happened . I could cry for you .
I am sending you the biggest hug , so glad you posted and I can already feel the love from us all coming your way .
Please let us know when and if things start to get better for you
Thank you so much. Honestly Neil has nagged me for months to see a doctor as I haven’t been seen by Rheumatology for two years or had bloods until last week. I don’t bother them I try to carry on but I am feeling and looking awful. She also commented that there are no magic wands and you are seeing “ every man and his dog as it is”. When she clocked the Mental Health referral for counselling which is for issues totally unrelated to my health, she started to talk to me as if I was as we say in Wales, dwp ( tupp). She said try and walk to the door when you can be motivated??? I was walking 45 minutes a day on the treadmill until I tore my hamstring. I just came out and sobbed then held onto NEIL to stop him going in and shouting. Thank you for the hugs much appreciated and needed xxx
I think what angers me the most is some medical professionals have zero idea how intimidating and draining it is to even go to the appointment , I sometimes wish we could be on a tv show and tell them exactly how it is !!!!!!! My hubby sounds like Neil , he tells me you’ve got to keep at them they will help eventually .. you get a glimmer of hope don’t you then a big fat slap in the face which sets you back .
Physios can be awesome and yours could be your glimmer of hope with regards to putting together a little plan of what to do next (use them it’s their job )
I’d tell them how awful your appointment went with charm school … they should know how you’ve been let down😡.
When is there ever going to be any joined up thinking ????,
The least she could have done was booked you a double appointment for a few weeks time to catch up on how orthopaedics goes .. even the offer of a telephone call would have been better than nothing .
You take care …. And I just pray you start turning the corner once you get some helpful motivational input xxxxx
She is not a permanent staff member so I am not sure how long she will be there. Honestly tonight Neil and I giggled as other than the physio the only other health professional I have seen is the locum dentist and my God what an attitude. She shouted at me and while doing my temporary filling around the stump of the crown I knocked out when I fell she gripped me by the nose. So rude and rough. As I was leaving another patient was complaining about her. Neil then went to have a deep clean and she was so rough he jumped so violently he burst the seam of his jacket. What is it with these sadists. It was just so bad it was funny. I will never see that particular GP again that’s for sure. Xxx
Ps , she clearly has major issues that she takes into work . Maybe suggest a job In Tesco stacking shelves overnight so she won’t have to speak to anyone 😡😡😡😡
Oh, Cecily, that is just plain hurtful. None of what this doctor said was necessary for your health. If she thought weight had any contribution to your symptoms she should work with you to get better at all levels.
Did she even address the falls? That is pretty serious.
Very sorry you would ever have to have an encounter like this.
She said my knees were giving way because of my size. It just isn’t true. My leg is giving way because I tore my hamstring and the leg just gives out.My Physio is angry at the deterioration he sees in me.His view is that my health is so unstable that every time they put off the op because of my weight and I have another fall, I am less likely to lose weight because of the injury. He said they need to try and help you. I fully expect to be told it is all my fault next week when I go to Orthopaedics. Sadly when you are obese it seems you become fair game for all negative, rude, judgemental comments. They ignore the pain, swollen joints, rashes, mouth, nasal and genital sores, headaches, weakness, fatigue. I asked if she had tested my blood for inflammatory markers. She said your blood is fine. I said did you test for Ana and dsDNA? She said no that is your Rheumatologists role. But I haven’t seen a Rheumatologist for 26 months. She shrugged. Just awful. I feel weary. Thank you for the hugs, much appreciated xxx
Lazy, rude and has no business being a GP. If she wants to use her medical degree - take it to the path lab, preferably the forensic one. She can talk to those patients how she likes and they're past noticing. Though in my experience - those doctors are more respectful ...
So kind of you! It’s been some years since I last went. But same to you if you are ever here and want to offload or don’t, just want to chat please feel free to contact me. Sorry for all you’ve had to go through recently. Health reasons and non health issues too. Xxx
Ohhh noooo, Cecily, this is awful. Firstly, thinking of you. Please know that we are here for you. Secondly, well done for raising a complaint. And to assure you, something happened to the society, including doctors, they lost it, i think. I had a similar experience with my GP in London and how I described it to my friends as 'I had to put her in her place' and well done doing the same. We have Lupus. We can not walk, we use medication which makes us put on weight, we are limited in our ability to do the normal things other people do because it hurts so much. I wonder if she could say the same to a cancer patient? Our illness is not visible but can be deadly. We all look OK but internally, we have so much going on. And when things get worse, it is really worse. I hope you can find a little strength from us today to keep you going for tomorrow.
I think Lupus awareness can be part of their compulsory training combined with emotional empathy. Thinking of you xx
Thank you so much. I was shocked, it is no wonder I avoid them. My biggest problem is that even though I was diagnosed in 2009 and again in 2011 with Lupus, subsequent Rheumatologists have said Fibro, Bechets, UCTD and one even diagnosed “ hysteria”, so now all doctors think I am a hypochondriac at best. And a fat one at that so no empathy, no kindness no willingness to try and help. My hubby feels terrible after pushing me to go too xxx
Dearest Cecily, I remember crying at the clinic in one of the top therapist psychiatrist’s room telling him that ‘I think I have Lupus and no one believes me and they say it’s UCTD, and he paused and said ‘ Ms Lale, UCTD is Lupus’. I never felt such relief. All these years no doctor ever told me that. Because UCTD is initial stage until patients show enough symptoms and go through enough pain to be diagnosed. Who knows! But one other doctor assumed I have it and started treatment for it. Clever lady, who also saved my life.
the title ‘doctor’ is almost like a judge whom we seek order for unjust behaviour in society, and Sometimes, systems does not work, and now that we have covid, already shaky medical system is failing fast, it is sad to watch and painful to be part of it as a patient. You just have to fight and never internalise this sort of behaviour. Almost like playing tennis. When they send you a ball, hit it back with all you have, to receive the care you need. Especially after your own attempt to get treatment to reduce your heartache trying to avoid a system which has been the core of our lives…
Hope you feel a bit better. If the GP surgery fails your complaint, you could consider the ombudsman. Please keep this option in mind…
You are right of course but I have become so worn down since the “ hysteria” diagnosis and the way in which doctors treat me is affected by it of that I am certain. Before the pandemic a very young GP came to the practice. She did not know as much as others and openly told me she had to look things up but she gave me time, empathy and tried her hardest to help me. Sadly she has left and this woman is in her place. I don’t think she meant to distress me she seemed surprised when I lost it with her but words cut you and when you feel so low they can push you over the edge. If the surgery do not respond I will report it to the Health Board xxx
26 months since I last saw a Rheumatologist. I have spoken to one twice. 12 months ago he said I would have my next appointment face to face. I understand there has been a pandemic so I will be patient xxx
I think since Covid the GP’s seem to be working in shifts. You can no longer choose who you speak to, you can no longer book a face to face appointment, you cannot take a urine sample to be tested without speaking to a GP, you can no longer ring and speak to a nurse. I have my respiratory nurse at the hospital and my continence nurse both are so helpful but nothing for Rheumatology. In-line in England I cannot access my test results online. I will see what Orthopaedics say on 28th and hope they are helpful. If I can get help with not falling so often I can walk more and get back on the treadmill to lose weight. Had I not slipped and torn the hamstring I would be so much fitter and slimmer now. It was an accident that can happen to anyone but if you are obese somehow it is your fault.Like you I am moving my legs constantly just to keep the circulation pumping. Thank you for caring. It really means so much. Have a lovely weekend xxx
Cecily, I do not even know how to express the anger I feel for what you went through. I am very concerned about your falls and understand about the hamstring. Since breaking my foot, my balance is worse, so I can only imagine what you are going through. I have had some serious falls with broken bones in the past and I can not understand that a doctor would not understand the seriousness of all that you are dealing with. I truly feel that this so-called physician should not be allowed near anyone. She is toxic and abusive to say the least. We are all here for you. I am glad you reached out to us. The damage a toxic doctor can do can be worse than any disease in my opinion.
Thank you so much. I try so hard not to feel a burden on my husband, on the doctors. I truly do try to be as positive as I am able to be then something like this happens. At least this time I shouted at her. She looked quite shocked when I said Just stop you are fat shaming me and it is not good enough. My life has been shit lately and I don’t want or need your judgement or patient blaming. She spoke to me from then on as if I was intellectually challenged. I said thank you and left. It was only when my hubby said how did it go that I just burst into tears. I know they are under pressure and I know It’s not easy to help someone with complex needs but the very least I should be able to expect is respect. As I said to her try living my life and see how quick you would be to condemn me then.Thank you so much for the understanding and the hugs xxx
Thank you I agree. My feet are so swollen that I struggle to get anything on my feet. At home I wear Birkenstocks and when I go out I have EEEEE boots with a solid rubber sole which are very good but my balance has been poor since I became ill 12 years ago. I have broken my nose twice, numerous concussions, cracked kneecap, frequently broken toes, twice knocked my front teeth out, broken my coccyx, cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder. So so many nasty bruises. Regardless of my legs giving way if I try to talk and walk or just look anywhere other than my feet I fall. That has nothing to do with my weight. My knee first dislocated in an exercise class🙄 It is not that I don’t try. I lost 7 stone to have the knee replacement surgery five years ago but I was turned away six times for not being well enough so I took myself off the surgery list. It just isn’t easy is it? Xxx
I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling. I sometimes think these GP'S should suffer like we do. How patronising of her. I'm so glad that you have made a complaint about her. Nobody should be made to feel how she made you feel. Sending you big hugs 🤗 xx
Thank you yes it really upset and angered me. My God I try. I am not lazy, I am not a binge eater and her comments about you need to make better lifestyle choices made me furious. Thank you for the hugs xx
hugs, some people need to learn to be more empathetic and not so judgemental. I had a surgeon like your doctor, a very good surgeon but a pathetic human being.
I know I am obese there is no getting away from it but it was the way she prodded and poked me as if I was inferior and brought it on myself then when she read Mental Health involvement she spoke to me as if I was a child. It really is not good enough. If they don’t respond to me I will take it to the Health Board Thank you for the hugs xxx
Oh Cecily I got very tearful reading your post , how dare that woman talk to you like that , it is utterly disgusting , I feel like coming round and thumping her one - and I’m not a violent person - you have suffered so much in the past months its so so unfair.
Please know you have lots of people who really do care about you on this forum- I regard you as a good friend even though I’ve never met you . Wish I could help you in some way.
Oh thank you it means so much honestly. The past few months have been awful. I have lost confidence, get fearful of going out without my lifting cushion. Neil had to really badger me into asking for help. I usually internalise these unkind comments but I felt so angry. No doubt she will counter my complaint by saying I swore at her and yes I did say I had had a 💩 time and that I do the very best I can. I might even have to lose my care because I had to take my pension they are charging me £358 a month and with everything increasing I just am struggling so the lovely Rosemary, my lifeline will have to get other work. It feels just too much. I doubt my complaint will change anything but she might just stop and think be kind when she has the next obese person. How is the dress fitting now? Xxx
Oh no that will be awful to lose your lovely Rosemary as know how much she means to you but that’s alot of money you need to pay out as you say everything is getting more expensive.
I’ve only lost 1,1/2 pound in 4 weeks, it’s so slow with me, I started doing 15 mins of kettlebells 3 times a week and did some lunges and have really done my knee in, so bad last 2 days I’ve just had to rest it so not expecting any loss this week where as Ian is losing weight so well by not even trying !!!
We’re always here for you so vent whenever you like xxx
11/2 pounds is 1/4 of your goal. Well done you 👏🏻👏🏻 It will break my heart to lose Rosemary. She has given me confidence and joy in my life. She says she will still come and see me but she will have to take another client and she has a family depending on her and another job too. It’s ridiculous really because I gained £500 a month. Then my Council Tax went up £140 and now the care costs and Neil freaked out by his brothers death and his widows struggle to pay for the funeral took out a funeral plan at £114 a month. So I am so much worse off. My Social Worker wants to increase my care hours because Neil just cannot relax due to the falls and all I need him to do to help me. So he will lose his respite too. Anyway no more moaning from me . I am watching back to back This Is Us and it is warming my heart. Rest that knee lovely and thank you xxx
Me too but there is talk of a film. Mandy Moore is amazing. To play a teenager and a dementia sufferers and pull both roles off so well and everything in between is just outstanding. The characters are so well developed that you ache for them. I have the same depth of feeling to Grays Anatomyxxx
So sorry to read about this, Cecily. I am in tears thinking of you dealing with that horrible woman. Not only has she fat-shamed you in a really demeaning way, it seems like she equates mental health problems to learning difficulties! You were very brave to talk back to her like that. I'm sorry you've had so much to deal with health wise, and now this as well. I hope your Orthopaedics appointment is helpful and that your complaint gets treated seriously. Sending love x
Thank you so much. I am blessed to have all you wonderful people. It means the world to have a safe place to talk. As I said she will probably say I swore at her and I did swear but if my hubby had been there it would have been so much worse. He was crying with rage as he has spent months trying to persuade me to see a GP xxx
Dearest Cc, cyber loving hugs, and love coming your way..Xxxxxxx What an absolute unprofessional, crime, this GP is serving out to her patients. Her compassion, if I can say, ran down her leg. Just heartbreaking... But you are a strong one, and filing a complaint, and follow up is appropriate. Can you request a re-visit with a nother provider for a second opinion? How about a Neuro consult? Document your experience, for your other Doctors? You are a wonderful human being, that GP is a lice on the dirt, Sorry, but boy it hurts to read of such disrespectful care.... You are loved here, and far, and all my best love, blessings, and prayers are with you dear lamb.. Love bunches, The stormy sunshine Xxxxxxx
Aww Stormy you made me cry. I wish I felt as strong as you think I am but I am in a better place than I was last year. Had this happened then it would have been the push over the precipice. That is why I filed the complaint because the next person she is so unkind and derogatory to it may break them. She is entitled to tell me my weight is impacting my joints, a fact I know too well but to be so callous and derogatory is so out of order. Hopefully they will be more helpful on 28th in Orthopaedics🤞🏻Bless you and thank you always for your passion and kindness heart xxx
Oh you poor lass. I am fuming and so upset on your behalf. I literally want to come down to Wales and put this GP depraved human in her place.
You are a thoughtful, wonderful human being, making the most and persevering through so many testing times and hardships.
I work as a HCP and I am often told to not care or to disregard the patient with the chronic illness, those with mental health issues, or diagnoses like ME, CFS, Fibromyalgia, Functional neuropathy disorder. But these conditions are like blemishes on your record, and it seems that medical professionals then don't give credence to the individual and it delays diagnoses and treatment.
Like yourself I can to a degree relate to the mixed diagnoses and that of hysteria. I was told I had lupus back in 2011, but my rheumatologist in his notes, actually said I psychotically thought I had lupus, he also placed fibromyalgia on my record to make it even more blemished. And since, for any flare or issue I have been told it's anxiety or the pain is all in my head. Hence the delay in treatment till 2022.
These falls are super concerning and will be no doubt painful and frightening for you. I do hope physio helps and they will welcome it. The GP is an individual that has no heart in a medical profession. She is deflecting her own issues and unhappiness on to you. Don't let her win.
And I know it's scary especially because you don't reach out, and it's never nice to visit a medic. We as HCPs are intimidating on the whole. I try my best not to be, because I can relate but also because it is our duty and responsibility, when we are given such a unique insight and level of trust to help patients who are meeting you at their lowest moments when they most need help, love and care.
I really hope you can not let this tarnish seeking help elsewhere. There are some good GPs in the valleys. I wish you comfort and strength in these tumultuous times.
If you ever need to chat, I'm only a dm away and an avid listener.
Thank you Lottie. I am so sorry that you were gaslighted medically too. It is a kind of hell. I go prompt treatment and diagnosis with Lupus and APS in 2009. It was diagnosed by a Rheumy, confirmed by a Haematologist and Neurologist. Then a new Rheumy said nope not Lupus but Bechets and Fibro. My problems really started then. Up to that point I had been treated with respect but from that moment I was treated like a hypochondriac. Over the years it has got worse and since the hysteria diagnosis I have had obstruction, ridicule and such poor treatment. It led , along with relationship issues, money problems to me just not wanting to be here. It has been a hard slog to lift my head up again and thankfully today did not break me. But it could have. I have no faith in my named GP and had I not absolutely adored her for years, last year I would have made a complaint about her conduct. I was advised to do so by my counsellor as she made a significant error which amounted to a lack of duty of care. She was very worried that I would report her and kept ringing me. I went to see her and told her she was forgiven but I can never forget and have no faith in her capacity to be my GP. She knew my case inside and out and would never ever have spoken to my like this GP did today. There are truly wonderful doctors and my Respiratory Specialist and her whole team are exceptional. I suppose you can see both sides in your role? It must have been even more distressing that your symptoms were misdiagnosed and dismissed? Tomorrow is another day. I will await with interest how the surgery handles it but if they fail to acknowledge the distress caused I will report it to the Health Board. Thank you so much for your kindness and understanding it means an awful lot xxx
Apologies sweetie for not being on here much lately; am struggling with serious type 2 diabetes abnormal blood cells leading to anemia and nonalcoholic fatty liver disease.
It’s all consuming trying to monitor prep diet/meals 6x daily and home treatments for anemia and liver. I know you understand sweetie.
I’m totally shocked that the new GP treated you in such an unprofessional disrespectful uncaring and cruel way.
I have had many such so-called doctors treat me the same way/one even assaulted me with the reflex hammer so I can truly empathize with your deplorable treatment.
I am soooooooo sorry 😢 you had to endure that‼️ I believe that this /any doctor that behaves like this should be reprimanded for it.
It’s bad enough that we the inflicted have to suffer everything we go through in our disease(s) which leads to being low/severe depression/inability to overcome everyday living and judgment from family /friends without having a medical professional follow suit.
It’s wrong mentally traumatizing and often leads to total hopelessness.
I applaud you for defending yourself…she deserved it.
If at all possible report her to whatever committee/board that oversees misconduct in the medical field for such behavior.
There have been cases over here where patients have been so traumatized that it took a toll on their mental health.
Don’t worry about your size sweetie I’m a fluffy gal myself not by choice but from the perfect mesh of autoimmune comorbidities into a perfect fluffy results. Big is beautiful too…and more to love 💕 as well.
Sending you my warmest fluffy hugs and prayers always sweetie.
Hi EJ I am so very sorry that you are having to contend with so much. It cannot be easy and you must be feeling so ill bless you. I truly hope that you get into a routine and once you do life should be so much easier for you. I don’t want the GP to be punished just to be told that he behaviour and attitude caused distress and her attitude was offensive. If it saves one person from coming out and crying then it will be worth it. I really hope your health improves and that you soon feel so much better. You are such a sweetheart. Big Cwtches to you xxx
Apologies; having multiple big flare ups. Also I’m having problems with the site locked me out and not receiving any notifications about replies. 😡
Thank you hun for your kind caring words and well wishes.
The reason I said reprimanding the horrible treatment given you by your GP was coming from the doctors Hippocratic oath …first do no harm… there are too many doctors that forget their oath and their words do a lot of damage when spoken unprofessionally.
I too want all medical professionals to practice with compassion and decorum.
I understand they are human and have bad days too but no excusing their unprofessional bad behavior.
Hopefully this was a hard lesson learned for your GP.
I hope and pray that you will feel better soon and be as pain free as possible sweetie.
Hugs love prayers and big Cwtches right back at you too my lovely friend.
Hello, I am so sorry to hear that, I’ve experienced some of it on my GPs and also the hospital, last time they said to me that unfortunately they don’t know that much about Lupus so they can ask for a specialist Dr in London; I said no at the moment and the reason was the time to wait for an appointment, (months). I’ve had Covid recently and after that, my energies have been coming and going and as a result I feel exhausted. For moments I feel so frustrated, anxiety and depression of feeling pain almost every day, feel tired of feeling down cause of the depression and the lack of energy, it is difficult.. it is challenging. I can not imagine how you feel, I wish I could be there and give you a hug (it helps a lot to me when I feel extremely bad/sad).my wife has told me last week that she’s fed up of me, even though she knows all my struggles, all my sleepless nights, waking up at 5 am to go to work, taking me 3 hours to come and go.. she never apologised, never said sorry. I know how it feels when all you need is support, understanding, human touch, someone who at least care about you. She’s doing better now though, but I kept the scars on me already. Don’t let anyone to make you feel sad or bad about yourself, the less you need is to be sad or depressed. Is not helping you, I think that the best for you right now is keep your mind free of thoughts, even though is hard; do something you like, try to rest, if you can try going to a place were you can feel free, better, without any stressful situation or people. You are the only one who can do it, the only one who can deal with it, you are unique and powerful, believe in yourself and great things will come to you. I will be here if you want to chat with someone. I wish you the best.
You are absolutely right. Sometimes all you need to help you keep fighting is kindness and a big hug or Cwtch as we say in Wales helps. All it took for me to cry yesterday was seeing my husbands worried face as I finally emerged from the doctors. It was a release to be cared for. However this was followed by overwhelming feelings of being a burden. He helps me with everything. I truly hope that your wife can find the strength to support and love you as you deserve. It is not easy to be around pain, fatigue and chronic ill health. It hurts those who love us, it wears them down too. I totally understand the scars you talk about. People who leave us, friendships lost, isolation, it hurts and if you are like me I keep on hurting about things for years. I wish I could let it go. I wish you could too. You are amazing, carrying on working when you feel so ill and it is such a monumental struggle. Your wife is a very lucky lady and I sincerely hope that she can realise that. Your kindness in spite of your own struggles is humbling. I will always be here for you to chat too. I send you the biggest virtual Cwtch and hope life gets easier for you xx
Thanks a lot. I am just like you, it takes me time to heal my scars but they hurts just by thinking. I am learning how to be happy despite being ill, how to smile even when I feel down. It is difficult sometimes. Thanks a lot for your words. I wish you the best! I wish you a great weekend. XXXXX
I am so sorry to hear this. You are such a lovely person and such a kind supportive help to so many people here despite your huge health problems, no one deserves to be treated like that and certainly not you. I am very sad and cross for you.
I’m glad you have complained but what is happening about getting you the medical help you desperately need? Can you chase rheumy appointment? I was having lots of falls and losing consciousness and when my rheumy saw my black eye, broken tooth etc he admitted me for lots of tests. I know A&E is dreadful and worse at the moment but that might be an option to get some proper help? Or one of the London private rheumy’s if can afford it?
Thank you for your kind words. It means so much. I see myself as a burden on my husband, on the Health service , on society. It has taken years for me to try and hold my head up again. My appearance disgusts me but I try to look the best that I can. She was right I am obese but the way she prodded me and the sheer disdain she treated me with as if I were truly repulsive shocked me. For a while my brain panicked and I had the thoughts I don’t want to be here. I managed to calm myself and realise she is not worth my distress but I fear for the next patient who goes in to see her who is not able to do that. Words have the power to comfort, motivate, but also they can destroy. I don’t think she is a bad doctor, just a judgemental and inconsiderate one. I went to St Thomas’s Lupus Unit in 2011. Initially they diagnosed SLE but when my local Rheumatologist who had said I did not have Lupus but Bechets and Fibro, complained that they had contradicted him they said I had UCTD and discharged me.Since then Rheumatologists have agreed on what my specific diagnosis is xxx
I am so sorry you have been put through this by a Doctor as well. We wait so long to actually see one and it’s so deflating when they either don’t listen or don’t know what to do with us. In your case she was down right rude and you have every right to complain about her. I’m am sending the biggest virtual hug 🤗 and hope it helps, you take care xx
That is so true. We don’t expect “ magic wands” as she put it but we should be able to expect respect. It was the way she prodded me with utter disgust on her face. It was gut wrenching to see.Thank you for the hugs so much appreciated xxx
Hope you’re feeling better about the horrid dr today CP 💐
Hi Cecily, sorry to hear how awful its been for you lately, I'm a care worker and I look after people who've had falls. I'm there still once the docs, physios have left. It doesn't matter what you weigh, anyone can have a fall. Regular constant movement of any kind, wiggling your toes, rotating your ankles, marching whilst sitting even squeezing your butt cheeks will all help keep the blood flowing to your muscles and reduce some of the oedema. Until you can get back to walking do what you can. The people who stay still take the longest to recover from what I've seen. I wish you well. Ps I've been fat my whole life until recently and the docs still treat me as if I'm making up the symptoms.
Thank you so much. I’m afraid my lovely Orthopaedic surgeon is very old fashioned and does not believe in physio. I was doing so well 45 minutes a day on the treadmill( albeit slowly). I lost a stone and a half without dieting. Then I slipped getting into the Jeep and had a really bad pain up into my groin and down into my heel. It subsided until I tried to get out of the car. I had torn the three tendons on the one side of my knee and the muscle the other side. I was told no exercise, no physio just rest for three months. When I tried walking afterwards my leg keeps giving out without warning and I just drop. I have also developed a shuffle as it hurts less which of course means I trip. I self referred to physiotherapy who were unhelpful until I demanded a face to face. Thankfully it was a physio that I had worked with in the physio gym and in the OAK ( Osteoarthritis of the Knee) and he was horrified at the deterioration in my fitness and stability. I had been able to complete eight weeks of 2 hours a week and was walking with one stick instead of two and Even used the balance Board. All I need is some help with my leg in order that I can get more active. I am so sorry to hear that you have had the disbelief from doctors too. It is frustrating and hurtful xxx
The way that doctor treated you is shocking! A complaint is certainly justified. No doctor should make you feel guilty for being ill! It is their job to help you and they get paid good money to do so.
I’m sorry to hear about your brother in law. It is never easy when we loose a loved one.
I can sympathise with your leak. We had a leak a few years back. The pipes were original, ( from the 1930s!), and had worn. It was an excuse to put central heating in. The living room roof had a slight crack but was solid. Back in November that ceiling fell in! Noticed a slight sag and my brother went up a ladder. One touch and crash! Thankfully it was a controlled crash and no one was hurt. Plaster doesn’t half make a mess though and not good with asthma. Sorted now and was a good excuse to have the ceiling lowered and lights fitted into it. All worked out in the end.
I hope you stay safe in the storms and that your complaint is taken seriously. Let us know how you get on. Xx ❤️💐
Oh my goodness I am so sorry you had that issue with the ceiling. Yes plaster gets everywhere. The whole house has fine dust over it then you polish, sit down and next thing it is back as bad as ever. I am pleased yours is all fixed now and that you were not hurt. My bathroom is so so much better for me now. There were dents in the cupboard and hand basin where my head had bashed it, the shelf was warped where my shoulder had hit it and I have broken more toes and got more bruises falling out of the raised quad shower than anywhere else in the house and now I have a walk in one with a slate non slip base. Amazing but the cost 😫Half my pension gone. Still I am so grateful for having it. We still need the ceilings plastered but otherwise it’s all done.I will update everyone on my complaint. This far I have not even had an acknowledgement. The storm is hitting us hard now. Very scary winds xxx
Hi CP, I know nothing about what help is available for people who need adaptations for safe bathing in our categories but can tell you my stepfather who is 86 with a hip and knee replacement, heart bypass, cataracts and advanced dementia had grab rails, seat raisers, bedside supports, door ramps and shower adaptations all fitted at a reduced price. This is perhaps because of his age or the dementia.My Father recently was given similar aids because of cancer. He’s also nearly 86 different I’m assuming the common factor here is age not the affliction. Both have the means to pay buy once care at home was needed these things just happened, physio even popped in with cushions to prevent bed sores and they even go to the house to take his blood weekly.
Anyway I’m sure you and your lovely supportive OH are on the case but if not help is out there 🤗
Thank you so much. My lovely OT has put toilet raisers, grab rails, a floor to ceiling pole, a step and even a custom made riser recliner and a lifting cushion. The leaks happened suddenly and because I really need a loo upstairs we had to get it done quickly. Xxx
I can’t believe what that woman who calls herself a doctor put your through! It is a disgrace. Sadly whether you are obese or not that kind of doctor enjoys dragging you down. I had one like that after being air-lifted to hospital following a coronary artery spasm. Horrible woman. 😫 You could teach your doctor a thing or two about compassion and caring for others. No matter what you go through you are always here for all of us and you are greatly loved because of that and for the kind words and support you always offer us.🥰 You are a tower of strength to all of us here so don’t let that woman weaken you. No wonder Neil wanted to go in and tell her a thing or two. I’d be going with him as would everyone else on this site if we got the chance. 😡 I’m SO pleased you have made a formal complaint. There is no excuse for treating anybody the way she treated you. Keep us posted. In the meantime I’m sending truck loads of love and hugs. 🚚🚛💕💕💕💕🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗xx
Bless you thank you so much. It is rare these days that I ever stick up for myself. I normally sit there mortified and say nothing then break my heart when I get outside. The thing is when you waste that much energy on anger or distress you always pay for it. Today my tongue is ulcerated and I have a bright red rash on my face. But I am relieved that at least I am not feeling pathetic for not fighting back and speaking up. Progress for me. My lowest point was being told that all I had wrong was Fibro and hysteria. I sat there and was too shocked to respond and too embarrassed to make a complaint. I don’t want the doctor to get into trouble, I just want her to know that she just cannot talk to people that way. She had every right to say I am obese but the scorn and derision she showed me was unprofessional and unacceptable. I was upset but not broken. The next person might not be in a good place. Thank you for the truck loads of love, so very much appreciated. I am so very, very fortunate to be in this safe, supportive place with such wonderful people xxx
I do stand up for myself even if my knees are knocking, but like you I break my heart once I’m away from the situation, not giving them the satisfaction of seeing how much they have hurt me. But hopefully your complaint will spare others the abuse you received, because abuse it was! It won’t do the doctor any harm to be told off for her unprofessional behaviour so don’t worry about that. Yes we are SO lucky to have this safe and supportive place and normally you are the first to comfort and support others. So know we are all behind you. Give Brodie and Dylan big hugs from me as I know they’ll be such a comfort to you. I hope they are bearing up to the storm. 🙏🏻 Take care lovely Cecily. 🤗😘Xxx
Good for you. I don’t recognise me not just physically but character wise. I was always fierce. It’s so sad how illness erodes your spirit. Brodie and Dylan are desperate to go for a walk but seriously they would be blown over so OT’s a quick nip out to the garden and back in to be dried with a nice warm towel.We have just booked Dylan’s second heart scan for next month. Hopefully he will be just fine. We had a call from the Veterinary Eye clinic this week. The Canine Institute are working with genealogists to study his rare rye condition. As the eye clinic had only seen two cases in 30 years, one being Dylan they want him to take part in the research. It is non invasive, we just take three swabs on each side of his cheek. So exciting. It will not benefit Dylan but it could help others. Look after yourself lovely xxx
That’s great that Dylan is doing his bit for Veterinary research. I hope the winds die down soon so he and Brodie can get out a little further than the garden. How lovely to have a nice warm towel, and hug no doubt, to greet them back indoors. Hoping you enjoy your weekend. 💕🤗😘xx
Oh, Cecily, how absolutely awful for you. I’m almost in tears reading your post and I don’t cry easily. That woman needs to go back into training and she should never have spoken to you in that way. You got absolutely no help at all and were made to feel less than human. Dreadful behaviour. You are such a lovely person and no one should be treated as you were.I do feel for you having to spend so much money on care too. Here is Scotland personal care is free but I’ve been looking into care for my 97 year old stepmum on Tyneside and I’m appalled at the prices. Life ain’t fair but everyone on this site is sending you huge love.
Thank you so much Barbara. Yes she did make me so distressed and angry. I haven’t felt anger for a long time and honestly for me it was a good thing. I sadly have become used to putting myself down and letting others be unkind or inconsiderate and internalised ot. So letting her have it was progress for me. Strangely once I had told her off she was much nicer and I thanked her for her time. It was only when I walked out and saw my husband that I burst into tears. I feel so annoyed that I am having to pay so much for my care. They do not take any commitments or outgoings into account . If I could afford it I would be happy to pay but when you think how much the really wealthy get away with it is sickening. I hope that you can sort out care for your stepmom. Some companies are charging prohibitive prices, won’t the Local Authority support her? Xxx
No, because she has her own house and some savings. That’s what you get for working all your life. And she flatly refuses to sell her house and move into a care home. I treated myself to a £1 bunch of daffodils this morning so I’m looking at them and thinking of you in Wales. Hope you’re not too badly affected by the storm today. 🌼 it would seem emojis don’t do daffodils!
Yes exactly. I worked for 23 years and while I was so grateful to get my lump sum half is gone on the bathroom. I have lost my ESA, now have to pay full council tax and pay for care until all my money is gone. It sucks. I don’t blame her for not wanting a care home but what about sheltered housing? It would give her her independence with added security that she could access support if needed. I have just reluctantly had to throw my daffodils out as they were going limp. Such beautiful flowers that cheer up any room xxx
Cecily I’m so sorry you were treated this way. Discrimination and prejudice has no place in Doctoring or any field of service with our fellow humans. I’m not sure what the process is in UK for filing a complaint but it is something to consider. I hope one day you will be able to look back at this awful incident and smile because it lead you to better care and outcome. Here is a storyThat happened to me about 30 years ago
That is different but the prejudice and discrimination is the same: I called a plumber for help because my boys had tossed all their small toy cars in the toilet and then of course flushed it. And of course before they flushed it they both did their business on top of toy cars. Leaking of said toilet began overnight without our knowledge until toilet fell into closet below
Waking us up to crashing and putridness. Plumber arrived in the morning and looked at the situation and asked where my husband was. I replied that he was at work.
He replied to me that he would not work with a woman but only a man on this project. Attempted reasoning on my part escalated into efficient curses and get the hell out of my house. I could not file a complaint sadly his business was his own.
Found a different plumber who asked me if I wanted the toy cars back?😂 Ummm. No! Be well! Best Regards, Titters
Omg thst did make me gasp and then giggle at the second plumber. What a Neanderthal the first one was. There are some amazing women plumbers. As for discriminating against a paying customer, it is astounding. I suspect his business suffered as a consequence. I have already filed a complaint with my practice as I don’t want others having to go through it too. Thank you for your kindness and the story xxx
Hello Cecily. I'm so sorry for that horrible experience you have gone through. We are not obese (I hate that word !!) by choice. I was superfit, walked to and from work, walked the dog everyday and now can't get to the end of the road and have given in to my husbands request to get a scooter so I can go out with him and the dogs. We have given up enough to these diseases without being belittled by this so called 'caring profession'. I have a really good GP thankfully and many people do but sadly we are hearing more stories of appalling experiences. Take care xx🤗🤗
Thank you so much. I have been temped by a scooter but I have made myself walk until I tore the tendons and muscles. Now every step is so painful. I feel as if my heel is pulling towards my backside it is so tight and it has exacerbated my knees because they need to move and with the huge build up of odema making it difficult to flex my ankles the falls have been more frequent and damaging. All I want is help to get back walking. I fear I will always be obese but if I can lose 5 stone I can get the first knee done which is my goal. I would love to go back to walking with my hubby and our dogs. He meets People and comes in with well wishes from them and I feel so envious. I am glad to hear that you have a good GP. They are worth their weight in gold xxx
I just want to repeat every single word Tiggywoos wrote. I am so very glad to hear you have lodged a formal complaint. I too am sending you the biggest hug I can, and love.
A basket full of🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗for you Cecily 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗I'm appalled n so very hurt to read your post!! 😠😡😤🤬🤬🤬🤬I think that's what's even more appalling is that all of us have had 'previous' lives in caring n professional services. If either you or I had acted like this GP at work we would have been severely reprimanded!! I'm so glad to hear you complained..although even then you're saying you don't want this to happen to somebody else!!
I'm happy to hear that u got angry n it sounds like you put her in her place..Good for you!!! 🥊
The fact that the BP machine said error means that she didn't do it right..nothing else..cuffs are universal!! You could have said something like "Don't bother coz I can tell you right now my BP is through the roof...DOCTOR!!! 😤🤬😤🤬😤🤬😤😡😠😤😤😤😠😹
Why has your ESA stopped lovely..you're on pip aren't you?
You're fabulous..you know that? No I'm not sure you do tbh...you care so much for other people..maybe you could work on some self love n see your own fabulousness ( is that a word?)😹
Humour gets us through the most terrible ordeals n this forum is fab for that..we all understand each other even though we leave inadequate docs scratching their heads..or worse..dismissing us as if it's our fault!! 😡😤😠
A scooter is a good idea I reckon coz you'll gain some independence. I've got one but unfortunately previous owner had had a stroke n had the controls on the handlebars swapped over to left hand drive!!! My left hand isn't my dominant hand n it's been badly affected by lupus so I can't ride it safely!! 😹When I have had a go though I just keep hearing the Magic Roundabout theme tune in my head!!! 😹
Rest up..take care of yourself..u must be shattered today!! Orthopedics next 🤞🌈😽😽xx
You are wonderful Kat you always make me laugh. I will forever have a vision of a stylish lady in a big hat doing wheelies to Dylan strumming his guitar and Zebedee boinging all over the place 🤣😂Yes I honestly came close to barging out but my heart was hammering away. When she said my BP was high I said I am not surprised you have distressed me. She said I don’t think so because your pulse wasn’t fast and it would have been??? Cheeky 🐄 telling me I wasn’t upset? If Neil had been with me he would have been arrested lol
Take care lovely and thank you so much for making me laugh. Mind you Twitter was responsible for several accidents today as Michael Fabricant was trending. The tweets were so so funny. Have a look but you will need a Tenna lady. Huge love to you xxx
Oh Cecily ! I’m so saddened to hear about your awful experience. You’re having a dreadful time and to be treated in such a way is shocking. That GP ( I’ll use that title scathingly ) should hang her head in shame for speaking to you in such a demeaning way. I don’t often comment on the forum but I do read a lot and everyone’s experiences and it reassures me that I’m not going mad! However reading about this Dr really has made me mad !!! Hang on in there my lovely. Keep your head held high and make sure your complaint is followed up. Hopefully this bloody woman won’t treat anyone else like that after someone has made her reflect on her shocking behaviour. Big hugs Ann xx
Thank you so much for commenting Ann. I am just relieved I haven’t hit rock bottom this time but she didn’t know that. The surgery still have not even acknowledged the complaint but I will chase it up on Monday xxx
So sorry Cecily to read the way you were treated, it is unforgiveable, just think of Karma, she will get her own just desserts.
I have found throughout the years of being treated flippantly, (it took ten years to get a lupus diagnosis) that if I take my husband I get treated differently. It is if the doc needs to have my symptoms confirmed and so then they can take me seriously.
I too have been branded with the fibromyalgia diagnosis which many docs think is a way of getting out of going to work and just be lazy, even though it is a recognised condition by the NHS.
I also had hysteria written on my notes after a hospital doctor tried to take a blood gas test from the vein in my elbow instead of the artery in my wrist when I was having an acute asthma attack.
After shouting at me to keep still because he kept painfully jabbing the nerve he refused to treat me. The sister also told me off for being silly and needle phobic, something you don't need when you can't breathe and I have never had a needle phobia.
I didn't realise the blood gas test should be from an artery until several years later and when I tried to get the "hysteria" comment removed from my notes was told to take it up with the hospital. I am ashamed to say I didn't because I thought the hospital would label me as a troublemaker.
I really feel you should take someone with you when you have an appointment for any reason, it is sad but true, a witness makes the doc more amenable.
You are so right. I do not get insulted nearly as much when Neil is with me. It really is too bad that these negative labels stick. I have a funny story about arterial blood tests. I was blue lighted to A & E in the early hours of the morning. My hubby followed in the car. They slapped an oxygen mask on me and sent me for a chest x Ray. I was really struggling for breath. A junior doctor turned up and tried to get an arterial blood sample from my wrist. He was digging for gold and I was bleeding all over the floor. Eventually he got a sample and a nurse bandaged my wrist. He returned some time later scratching his head. He said I don’t understand it your blood oxygen is great. I pulled down my oxygen mask and said of course it is you 🤬 I am on oxygen. He said he had to do it again. I told him where to go. Later on the ward the Respiratory sister got the necessary sample from my ear lobe… painless and swift.I really hope that some day both you and I gain the courage to challenge the dreadful judgements that unfairly. We deserve better xxx malign us
Bless you thank you I am ok. It was not the worst encounter I have had but it did make me so angry and then I always cry when I get mad. This weekend, after salads all week long I am making pizza and apple sponge and I will enjoy it with no guilt trip. You keep safe and dry and have a lovely weekend xx
Oh Cecily my heart goes out to you. How despicably cruel & soul-crushing to be spoken to & treated like that - by a suposedly 'caring professional' makes my blood boil!! how dare she mock you!!
I do admire your courage, standing up for yourself & for every one who is treated that way, you are a beautiful caring person who has so much to contend with youself- but still, you are there for many of us when we have needed it...I thank you for that.
Sending massive hugs Cecily & I am so very sorry to hear about your brother in law ❤❤
Firstly I think you are a wonderfully brave lady. You know how ill you are and what your pain is. Please don't let your absolutely awful experience make you loose faith.I do hope you will consider ringing rheumy. I am sure that if you explained briefly the bad treatment you have had and all the problems you are going through they would give you an urgent appointment. All hospitals have them. And as my consultants tell me you should never feel bad about fighting your own corner and it is always important to get seen. Please do try.
I hope you get some help and support asap. But in the meantime we are all here for you.
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