Thursday 11 November 2021, woke up to the my worst nightmare scenario. My beautiful 46 year old son who has just moved to Penang on the 7 Sept to start a new adventure with his young family, has been cruelly taken away by a cardiac arrest. He had a heart defect which was not detectable. Too too obscene for words. I’m struggling to come to terms with this reality. However philosophical I have tried to be, it still hurts like hell. He was a most thoughtful and caring son. Infuriatingly laid back as only the artists and creative souls can be. Kind with a wicked sense of humour, you may think I’m biais but the tributes from his Facebook only reaffirm what I knew all along. One consolation is that he donated his organs so that someone else can have a better life. So magnanimous of his part. My heart is broken, no emojis, no amount of likes or followers, can alleviate my pain. It shows the futility of it all. I am trying to be very strong to give support to his wife and my two grand children of 3 and 7. My husband has been a bastion of support, so has my circle of friends
We had a celebration of his life at 3am in the morning when his cremation was taking place We did not adhere to any religion, we are free spirits and believe that the way we behave towards others was our religion. A friend commented that I should look at it like this, he had a mission, he has accomplished his mission and now he has departed. I found comfort in that and the knowledge that he did not suffer and his legacy will live on beyond. This has given his existence a meaning Keeping myself busy by cooking and feeding my family and surrounding them with lots of love but life goes on, I need to take care of the living now Tears are shed now and then I thought I was doing rather well, until my daughter in law produced the urn, poor girl brought him home, I crumbled
Sorry this is not Lupus, Changing Faces related but I needed to vent my thoughts and this forum has proved to be very supportive when I needed it. I
I would give anything to have a blazing row with him
Thank you for reading till the end
Chantale
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Chantev
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There are no words to help but please know you and your family are in my thoughts. I hope your memories of better times help carry you through this horrible sorrow. Love,
To loose a child , must be worst pain imaginable . Reading your post and you sharing your grief on this site makes me realise how precious life is . Sending love and condolences .
I’m so very sorry Chantev to read this about your beautiful son - life can be so cruel , I can only imagine the pain you must be in - sending lots of love ❤️
I’ve just read your post & my heart breaks for you all. What an amazing lady you are because despite your heart being broken your concerns are with your family. That’s real courage. My love and thoughts are with you and your family. Nothing we can say will takeaway this terrible pain but know that we’re thinking about you & sending our love.
Please don't stop your world and get off. Although this is the hardest pain imaginable for ~ for you and your family ~ you are still on your mission. I'm sorry for the loss of your son, let that wonderful love you express and all the happy memories console you over the darkest snd saddest days. With my sympathy and heartfelt commiserations xxxxx
I’m so so sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine a deeper sorrow than losing a child. He sounds like an amazing man and hope you can gain some comfort by the love and strong relationship you clearly shared. Lots of love to you and all your family xxx
That’s so sad for you and your family.Looking after your family will help fill your time,but you need to make time for yourself,even if it’s only 10 minutes a day.thinking about you xxx
I am so very sorry Chantev. Such a huge loss. Your son sounds such a wonderful man, you and your husband did such a good job in nurturing and guiding him. His legacy is his children and your love and support will help ease their grief. I sincerely hope that you will find some comfort in your family and precious memories ❤️
so very sorry, but the comment that he was here for a reason and once that was completed he has departed sounds like the best reason I've ever heard for someone passing. I don't have children my self but lost my fur baby 2 weeks ago and that comment has helped me feel better towards losing her. he will live on in your heart and your memories.
My dear Chantev There are no words that will take away the pain you feel after losing your wonderful Son. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to share your thoughts, feelings and emotions with others. It can also help you to know how many people are supporting you in what must be the worst thing any parent has to face. I truly appreciate that your son has been able to help others by donating his organs. I know that it won’t bring your son back to you but your son has given life to others who will always be grateful to him for doing that. Your son will still be able to give others a chance at life and in saying that your son will live on.
I know that right now you are hurting so much and my heart goes out to you and your family at this time. But please take comfort in knowing that your wonderful caring son will live on as in his passing he has given the gift of life to others.
Please accept my love and prayers for you all.
Please take care of yourself and the beautiful gift your son has given you your beautiful grandchildren ♥️♥️♥️♥️
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No hope of getting this referral not sure what I can do!
I need advise, lifestyle related, not lupus related! 
Today is World Lupus Day
