I had to take just 2 minutes out of my day to share something extremely important with you all…
So today started as normal, only to go down hill with such speed due to what happened next in the turmoil I will call Marky Marks' Mayhem. Mark is my husband and best friend of a million years, however he does at times make me want to punch him out and set fire to his gonads - today is one of these days…
I was starting to come round, quietly reading my kindle in bed waiting for my pain medication to kick in, to “unfreeze’ and for my eyes to focus when I was hit by Nobby McGuiny screeching. It was dramatic and I have come to realise that the more dramatic he is the less I take notice, so I continued with sipping my tea.
It is at this point that 'crazy, pisses me off when Im hazy' bounds up the stairs 2 x2 to show me the horror! Yup he stood with a paper cut! I shit you not -a 4 maybe 5 millimetre nick on his pinky, it gets worse as he actually uttered these words ‘THERES NOUT WORSE THAN A PAPER CUT’…
Well, as a rule I wake most morning like the majority of you on here, filled with pain, an average day feels like I have had my whole body dragged up and down a wash board, dipped in acid, and dropped from a 4 story building into a mangle, stairs are the devils invention and getting a sentence out more that 7 words long without losing breath, momentum or simply forgetting a word is a bleeding achievement, but hey ho co*ck knockers is about to lose an extremity here!
Now this is on a week where I have had to come off all NSAIDs (for an ultra sound),I as usual have zero energy, my assessment grades for my classes are due and a verifier wants all my 6th form classwork. I have also had a camera shoved up my nose and deeper in my throat than anything has ever been (apart from when I told Mr GNW he could do what he wished with me as long as I got the car I desperately needed at that moment.) to be shown it on 20 inch screen - though after a gynaecology visit where similar images flashed before my covered eyes I’m pretty sure the hospital uses the same footage for all internal imagery, like old reruns of friends, and no when I say no I do not want to see do I need you to show me what looks like an uncooked steak and kidney pie thank you. I actually mean NO!
So, I’m stuck between dragging his scrotum over his head and making a swimming cap for him as I dunk his head down the toilet and simply saying ‘oh!’.
I opted for the later and so in this, Id like to ask you all, whoever your God or prophet maybe, could you spare a second to say a little prayer for my poor deranged husband and his poor pinky, as I am sure you are all aware this lupus is naff all in comparison to a man who has been mamed by a piece of A4!