I’m sorry I usually try and post something positive but I’m feeling really scared and alone tonight and I’ve no one else I can talk to. I hope you don’t mind.
My Mum passed away 2 months ago and it’s just Dad and I now. We both live together and are self isolating so whilst things have been hard I at least felt somewhat safe in the house. But something happened today and now I feel a nervous wreck.
The bin men were on the street today and instead of waiting on them leaving Dad went to get the bin right after it had been emptied so the bin man was still there, albeit Dad thought the guy was walking away, but he quickly turned around and put the bin over the gate and started talking to Dad, they were really close definitely not 2 meters apart. I watched this bin man coming down the road, he was going up to the driver and they opened the door and were chatting. He was definitely not practicing social distancing. An absolute clown. Dad said he couldn’t do anything about it as the guy took him by surprise and he didn’t have a chance to move back. I just wish Dad would have waited until they had moved along the street.
I’m worried sick, Dad is in his 70s and has neutropenia, I’ve just lost Mum and can’t bare the thought of losing him too. I’m also worried that he’s brought the virus into the house and what it means for me. I spoke to him about it but he’s getting mad at me and says I’m getting paranoid (to be fair I am). I feel as if the next 5 to 14 days are going to be tortuous. I can’t think of anything else and feel quite panicked.
I’m sorry to dump this on here as you guys all have your own issues to face but I didn’t know where else to turn.
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Froggie70
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Froggie!!! Please, don’t apologize. It’s a world gone crazy out there.
My advise is to control what you can, and what you can’t, let go of fear. What will happen will happen, and tbh, the probability of anything bad is very, very low. This may be spreading quickly, but in the overall picture, the number of cases, and even more importantly the number of deaths, is so low in comparison to overall population.
I don’t want to offend anyone. I know we all have different beliefs and I respect that. But, may I suggest you find a private spot, get on your knees, and pour your heart out to God. Tell Him what happened, how you feel, and give your fear over to Him. He will hear you! Then, let go and know that He loves you.
I’m so sorry about your mother. I totally understand how this all makes the grieving so much more heightened, as if your grief is not bad enough. I wish I could help you Froggie, but know that we all love you, and come in here and unwind whenever you need to. My prayer for you, and all that are in here (and the world) is to find peace and find joy. I hope this is over soon. But I hope that the world, as a whole, will take away something better from this; an appreciation for all we have, a desire for freedom and responsibility, replacing course and vulgar language with kindness and love. We really do love you Froggie. I wish you the best!
Thank you. I’m so touched by your kindness, tbh I had a good cry on reading your message but in a good way, I think it’s what I needed. I’m usually quite pragmatic (I think we all are here in having to deal with our illnesses) but Mum was seriously ill for a month before she passed away and then this virus appeared so soon after that the last few months have been fraught.
I’m not offended at all by your advice, I believe in God but only since last September have I started to go to church and I found this a comfort when Mum was ill. I’m never sure if I’m praying properly as it’s still quite new to me, but I will do as you said.
I just want to thank you, your reply and kindness has made me feel calmer already and helped me get a little perspective on today’s events.
You are a very kind lady and if there were more people in the world like you we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in.
Ah, I’m always glad if I can help you. I would love so much a world where we could all be happy.☺️
I lost my dad 22 years ago and still miss him. I still tear up thinking about him and how much I love him. I promise you, your mom is in a great place and someday you two will see each other again. This life is just a blip in our existence.
Froggie, I’m so glad you are back to church. Don’t worry about saying a prayer correctly. If it’s sincere, it’s correct. Just like having a long talk with your friend or parent, just talk to Him. He will hear you. I promise. 🙏
Oh no. You have no need to apologize. You did not upset me. It’s natural to miss the ones we love and were such an important part of our lives. Please don’t apologize.
There is no "proper" way to pray - even thinking in a direction is praying if you want it to be, Even screaming "help" - whether mentally or aloud - is a prayer.
You have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to apologise for, my friend! We ARE 'here', to be 'Dumped' on- after all....
I know that this, won't immediately help, but the Chances of your Dad being Infected ARE LOW. OK yes, the Bin Men, were NOT 'Socially Distancing'- something to perhaps tell their Bosses, if you know the Company, that is..... but, unless your DAD touched, kissed or was Directly coughed on, then the Chances of 'Contagion' are LOW- but NOT Zero.
If I were in you position I would get, your Doctor's Surgery, on the Phone, and explain your- Very Genuine- fears. They Should then arrange 'Testing', quite soon. A few Pointers here though.... Do Ask, in a genuinely concerned way- DON'T Demand action, no matter how you feel (about this). You are after, their Help, so don't 'lay the Law down'. Do be a 'Patient' patient just, leave them in no doubt, regarding what needs to happen.
Will you let US all know, what happens, please Froggie70.
Hi Andrew, thank you. I’m relatively new on this site and I have been genuinely touched by the kindness shown here. I so wish I had found you all when I was diagnosed.
Unfortunately there is no testing here at the moment (I’m in the UK) so will just have to wait for the 5-14 days incubation period. Talking to you all tonight has calmed me. I know if the shoe were on the other foot that I would be giving the same advice, I just panicked when I saw them standing way less than 2 meters apart and I am watching far too many news bulletins.
I will certainly let you know how we are doing over the coming days and thank you for your support. X
You have nothing to apologise for. You've recently lost your Mum and seeing your Dad being put at risk must have been awful.
I would feel exactly the same as you.
It sounds like the interaction between your Dad and the binman was very brief and it sounds like there was no coughing or sneezing.
I would suggest that you are both highly vigilant of any feelings of being unwell over the next two weeks. And nip any signs of the virus' symptoms in the bud by contacting your GP or 111 at the first sign of any symptoms appearing.
It sounds stupid but do your very best not to be to stressed as this will only worry your Dad and put you into a potential flare.
If it were me I'd also encourage my Dad to speak up of he is feeling unwell. But that's just me because my Dad would keep it to himself.
With the constant media coverage and all the sudden change in lifestyle and behaviour we have all had a lot to deal with. Have a good cry and get it out of your system. We are all here for you.
One thing that you might like to consider doing is contacting your local council and reporting the behaviour of the binman. He might not have intended to put your Dad in the position that he did, but a reminder from his team leader or boss to the whole crew could save lives. We all have a responsibility in this. Just a thought, but have a think about it.
Keep posting. Keep positive. But allow yourself to cry too, it's healthy.
That interaction was very brief. Try to not focus on it to much and if you start to worry and stress about it just get straight onto this forum and type it all out. Day or night.
I haven’t seen the picture yet, sorry. But you are right a new day and with all the help from your good self and everyone else here I feel more positive about things. Why does everything seem worse at night? Going to plan a movie afternoon to keep us both occupied.
You are still grieving for your mum Froggie70, then you have all of this to deal with. You can't control everything that goes on around you, you can only do your best. Acceptance of that is the first step, I know it's hard when your dad makes mistakes my husband is making the same mistakes. Take a deep breath and remind him to wash his hands singing happy birthday twice through it's all you can do.
Don’t apologize for the fear you feel. It’s totally understandable given our new reality in this pandemic.
Hun I totally agree with Brooksidecourt that this is an issue you should pray about to God.
Just have a heart felt conversation with Him and tell him exactly how you feel. Ask Him to provide you both with protection from the virus.
Ask for mercy giving praise and thanks in advance. Trust Him to do this.
Also know that I just said a fervent prayer for you both as I have been every living soul.
Worrying or being paranoid about this or anything won’t change it one bit however it will make you both sicker from the added stress.
All you can do is monitor your dad/self for the symptoms remembering to take allergy symptoms in to account if relevant.
Don’t forget we are all in the same boat with this virus although some of us across the pond just learned if over 60 and have underlying conditions that we will only be offered comfort care due to the extreme shortage of all medical supplies and medical personnel.
This will eliminate my hubby me and our family. Brother is the youngest at 62 mom the oldest at 95+.
While we all are afraid yet will we trust Him.
Then in the meantime do anything you can to preoccupy your mind so not to dwell on it.
In the future be sure to cover your mouths with bandana like cotton material and wear gloves.
This will provide some protection should another unexpected event occur.
Please don’t feel bad about coming here for comfort and support.
That’s what this site is all about.
In the meantime sweetie feel my comforting cyber hug 🤗 and love and prayers.
No worries about our meetings as we definitely meet the requirements being thousands of miles apart.
Much love and prayers hun
EvaJo xxx
😊🌿🌸🦋🙏🤗💖🥰😇🕊
Apologies...meant to give you my sincerest sympathies for the loss if your mother. 🤗♥️🥰😇🕊🙏🌿🌹
Thank you. You are a very kind lady especially praying for us.
I think I got such a fright yesterday when I saw what happened. After a couple of weeks of trying to be super careful it just tipped me over the edge.
I will keep an eye on us both, over the coming days and try a stay away from the news.
I said a prayer both last night and this morning which has helped and our church is posting services online and suggesting passages to read from the bible. All of this will help.
I totally get that. Today is week 4 for me. The weather outside is helping though. It’s mostly been cloudy, foggy and dreary. Not much of a Springtime yet. I think the weather is matching to mood of the world. But at least it is making it easier to stay in.
I want to reiterate what AndrewT said the chances of your dad being infected by talking to the bin man is very low. The bin man would have had to sneeze or cough directly on your father for him to be infected. He wasn't in v close proximity for a long time. Presumably he didn't touch him.
To maybe put your mind at rest where I work before we were closed down a colleague had the virus (she was later found to have it - tested etc - she's doing okay now) and I and other of my co-workers came into contact with her while she was still asymptotic (although later she admitted to her manager she felt a little 'rough'). In fact one of my friends spent a whole afternoon in the same room with her - probably fairly close - think a desk apart. We are all fine - none of us have shown any symptoms. I hope this puts your mind at rest a little. Also as someone else has said stress can also lower your immune system which makes you more susceptible to picking up bugs (and not just this one). Take care of yourself x
Dear Froggie - I hope these messages have helped you feel a little easier. We are here. I am so so sorry about your loss - what a difficult time for you. You must be on overload. A friend of mine is a Psychologist and I ended up comforting him yesterday ! These are such unique times we are in. I am sure your Dad won’t suffer from the brief encounter. I am here with a husband with COPD so am equally paranoid for both of us. I have learned to calm my brain and body by staring at something lovely and taking deep breaths. Try not to think about anything, just concentrate on the object be it a tree or sky or cat - anything. Reading has helped too. I wish you peace. Cas70
Hi, thank you. I think I lost it a wee bit yesterday, seeing everything on the news there is very little positive spin on things and I’ve forgotten the basics of what we were all told originally about the virus.
I’m glad your all ok and your colleague has recovered. Some good news.
Many thanks to you and to everyone who has responded to me. I can’t thank you all enough.
We are here to lean on whenever you need us. We all need each other. Like Barbra Streisand sang 🎼 People who need people are the luckiest people in the world 🌎. (Glad you couldn’t hear me sing that 🎤. 😉 I have a horrible voice.
These are surreal times, it’s not easy. As well as clapping last night we rang the church bells....with appropriate social distancing.
I’m sure the bin man was healthy and it was a brief encounter.
With regards to news why not just listen to the 3 minutes on the hour on Radio 2. It tells you all you need to know. Testing is in the news constantly at present. Yet it’s like an MOT it’s only valid at the moment of test and we cannot test every day. If we had a test for some of our journalists ability; they would test negative for their ability and there would be no requirement for a repeat! Best wishes Kevin
You are so right about the news stories being so negative. It would be so good to hear stories of those who have recovered more often (and not focussing on the symptoms they had either).
Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate your support and that of everyone on this site.
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