Hi everyone I went yesterday to see a well respected gynaecologist specialist who deals with prolapse issues and had waited months to see her. I was shocked when within minutes of grilling me with questions like a seasoned interrogator and who kept interrupting me and who didn’t much like anything I said. I have never felt as stressed. Eventually she said no you don’t have a prolapse and I was insulted when she said “ is it something you read and what gave you the impression you have one, Did you look it up on the internet.” Well I said “i think it was the drs I saw.” She challenged me and said I just need to clarify did you go see a GP and they diagnosed you. I nodded yes but of course thought I didn’t diagnose myself with dr Google. 😂. What I should have said is “if you took the time to read the report and double check all the information you will see someone put in a Referal. I don’t know how she can actually think I made it up and voila I got on a hospital waiting list. I went bright red and said yes again in case she didn’t understand. I thought with her training she can’t be an idiot. I actually saw two drs one told me I had a bladder and bowel prolapse and a second who told me it had got worse and referred me several months later. Even when I had to have 2 scans one internal and 1 external was being told it was a prolapse now voila it’s not a prolapse. She tutted and mentioned about the higher ups in management who put too many people on the list. Maybe she was cranky as she was working through her break. She then said we need to examine you to check to see what’s going on. Talk about lack of dignity and more humiliation. She had an assistant who gave like a look like thunder. Was told I need to go back for 2 more bladder and bowel procedures which is done in theatre at the hospital to figure out what’s wrong she even showed me a chart to explain it to me like a child at the nursery just to get the point across but at that point I had zoned out and wasn’t interested nor even listening. Maybe I was too tired after waiting almost 2 hours as there was a huge backlog and didn’t expect the treatment I got when I stepped into the room. I felt like it was an ambush and I felt stupid being there. I left in tears thinking you know what forget further tests you can find save my spot on the long waiting list for more unsuspecting victims. I am now done with appointments and will seek alternatives. Am at a loss as what to do as I have just found out after a scan that I need 4 monthly scans to keep a ovarian cyst under observation. I found out from some notes but wasn’t verbally told. I got a call from the hospital to ask can I go get a ovarian BA 125 cancer blood test done which I sorted out yesterday as they can’t give me the results of the scan without it. So in a weeks time it’s another thing off my list. I am now at an all time low. I am off back to my drs will get all my reports. I am refusing now to have any treatment at dewsbury hospital and if these tests need doing it won’t be with that woman or at that hospital. Will be putting in a report once I have calmed down. Does anyone have any ideas where I go from here. Thank you everyone. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Cheers. Elena.
Do I give up on healthcare altogether and search ... - LUPUS UK
Do I give up on healthcare altogether and search for other health and care alternatives. have now lost all faith in the medical profession.
Without delay, a complaint to PALS. That Gestapo like interrogation has no place in the “dignity and respect” NHS mantra. She may have been having a bad day but so were you and I bet my boots you were perfectly decent to her in spite of the constant bad days and weeks you’ve been having. I’m fuming on your behalf. The very idea that anyone can get close to a waiting list without a referral is crazy.
Next, I’d think carefully about burning my boats. Remember it’s no skin off anyone’s nose if you do, but is rough on yourself.
Beyond that, I’m not very sure, but there’ll be others here with helpful advice x
Thank you so much. Yes I was my usual polite well behaved and respectful self as have had training as a bereavement counsellor for cruise, worked at Samaritans and was once a NHS tutor on top of 20 years of college and further training before I got unwell so I pride myself on putting others before myself. so was really taken aback about with how it all went. I never complain ever that’s probably my problem. I never said a word about the 2 hour wait or her shabby treatment of me. Will wallow in self pity until I can let go. If only they can see the long term damage that they do and what stops with us long after we leave them. I will put in a request to have the procedure done at pinderfields as the humiliation still burns within me. I am so sick of the off hand medical manner and off the cuff remarks that goes with most specialist visits. My son was fuming and has insisted I do not go alone to any future appointments without him. My 18 year old teenage son has more professional conduct and moral ethics than any of these drs or their peers. He could teach them all a lesson in human decency. He’s currently working for the police. My husband picked me up when I was in floods of tears. I was so distraught and thought here we go again being treated like an imbecile. I blame it on what drs put on reports as they make it that we are all basket cases taking up all their precious time and don’t really deserve an appointment. Maybe it’s a way of medically cleansing the waiting list of what they deem to be undesirables to keep down the long NHS waiting lists. Never mind it’s what we have to expect as they do the procedures and appointments so they can pretty much do and say whatever they want. Sadly common decency is now a rarity in the medical profession. My son says shall I train to be a dr mum so you don’t have to go through this. He’s clever enough to do it bless him. Thanks for listening I am now going to eat some chocolates or what my son says it’s really me going through my my emotional eating
Phase to deal with the upset. 😂. I think I will get my son to diagnose me. 😂😂. Have a great day and thank you for your reply. Cheers. Elena.
I’m gobsmacked at your background and it comes to this. I’m so very very sorry. If your hubby or son accompanies you next time, it’s unfortunately possible to get treated better. For some reason a male unit can alter attitudes.
My younger son once went with me to an appointment, absolutely furious about the pain I was in. The difference was amazing. He was then in his early 20s but looks much younger, as if he was skipping school. He said beforehand he could bear to see anything without a curtain, as long as it wasn’t between the waist and knees! When they decided on a couple of steroid shots he said afterwards he thought he’d see my arse (didn’t) but was determined to make sure something was done.
Big hugs to you xx
Yes my own experience of gynae has taught me that gender and age make no difference to what we can and should expect of these doctors. Young male gynae registrar was absolutely lovely a few years ago whereas many years ago an older woman gynae was brutal and sadistic with me. X
You clearly have a great son and it’s great your both so close. How awful we have to have back up to get heard. Us women don’t have a voice. I often say to my son if I was a bloke I would be treated better. I hope your keeping well and your having a great weekend. Elena. 😀
Thank you, and I hope the same for you x
Totally agree with Lupi - it’s a disgrace and you should be offered a formal apology and good second opinion follow up ASAP. Care Opinion is an anon online resource and worth using anonymously as well as going through PALS.
It does feel as if the world is against us at times. I ask myself if being ill has made me more sensitive to the things others say but I don't think so. It's hard to stay sane when everyone is knocking us down for just wanting to be treated like normal people and not time wasting scroungers. XX
Omg suzannah never a truer word spoken. When I save up and pay privately what a difference. Having said that we did have a few horrible ones there too so you can’t escape it. Am now looking at alternatives to medical care. I don’t want to take up any more time off drs or specialists when clearly they don’t have the time or energy for us plus we don’t seem to get anywhere anyway. Am now looking at going abroad and am now on day one of the anti inflammatory diet. Will keep everyone updated. Thank you so much for taking time out to message me. Have a great day. Cheers. Elena
Oh heck how dreadful for you. It’s bad enough having to attend gynae for most of us but to be treated in this way is just dreadful.
As you know I’m in Scotland and also have just had prolapse confirmed by my GP. I haven’t been referred to gynae for it but I saw a young gynae registrar a few years ago and he gave me clean bill apart from some atrophy and general “wear and tear”. To my surprise, given his age and gender, he was absolutely sweet, terribly professional and discharged me back to the care of GP with proviso that if I ever needed to return I must. This is what we should expect from gynaecology. It’s not even a very complex specialism and women’s health issues deserve respect and kindness.
I’m not at all surprised you won’t go back to her - but very glad you went ahead with the ovarian cancer blood test and I really hope you might use the online Care Opinion and PALS to register how awful this experience was for you. I hope your test results are negative of course but either way you clearly have gynae problems that need follow up and this is why I feel you should go down the complaints route - because if we put up with this kind of rubbish then bad doctors carry on getting away with it! X
Thank you so much for your kind words and taking time out to reply. Yes will be calling pals on Monday. Am just So glad you had a much better experience from gynaecology and I wish you well with your future treatment for your prolapse. I may just move to Scotland in the hopes that may work. 😂. Hoping that it all works out for the best for us both. Thanks again. Have a great weekend and take care. Elena. 😀.
Hey it’s as patchy here in Scotland as anywhere else but glad you are going to call PALS the awful gynae needs to be brought up short! Xx
I may be miss interputing this situation, but I think this consultant believes something other than prolapse is to blame for your symptoms. She is ruling out other very sinister conditions for which she might suspect are causing your issues. Please do have the suggested investigations.
Hi thank you. The investigations for the ovarian tests are from another consultant and another hospital and this lady was supposed to sort out the prolapse. I was just upset as she asked me what makes you think it’s a prolapse is it something you think you have or has someone actually told you. She didn’t believe a dr had done the investigation and said it was a prolapse. How else did I arrive at the hospital with a Referal and an
appointment I was just taken aback as whatever I said was wrong she was speaking over me most of the time and I had wait 2 hours past my time and I never complained and was polite. She was stressed out and complained that management were putting too many people on the list. I could see she just wanted to rush me out as quickly as possible. It was like a production line. Had 10 minutes for a quick internal exam and a few minutes of her time to interrogate me whilst she made her notes. I spoke to a friend who also had seen her last year and reported her. I didn’t realise until I told my friend the carry on and realised it was the same woman. Once I get results of ovarian scan and tests and the 2 procedures hopefully it’s all done and I never have to go again. At least I have the full support of my son it keeps me going when I have a bad day. My husband believes it’s best to stay quiet and suffer in silence which doesn’t help. 😂. Thanks again for your reply. It doesn’t help as I have had a few cancer scares myself which have led to many various tests and in my family there’s been at least a dozen family members who have passed with cancer as well as a few close friends. All
I wanted to happen was have someone listen to me. Have a great evening. Cheers. Elena.
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