I’m sorry for this. I know theres a lot of people far worse off than i am, but i just can’t stop myself. Im tired, i am so so sick and so tired of pretending, pretending to accept this, pretending to be fine, pretending to be happy. Im so tired of it all. God knows i don’t want to hurt anyone, but i wake up everyday, after a horrible night, disappointed that Im here again and have to do it all over again. i dread this life. Ive already started to regret the choices i made, all of them. Isn’t that the way some people feel towards the end? It already feels like the end. Im only 38, with two small kids and i dread every day. Im sorry for this. I have no one to turn to.