Azathioprine. I feel so depressed.

[zebedee01]

I have recently had another flare. I was doing so well, it was a whole year or more since the last one and I had gone back to work and everything.

Well because I had a flare the rheumatologist has decided to start me on azathioprine.

I am terrified because of the potential risks of taking it!

I just feel like my life is over an I can't take much more. I feel so depressed its just awful. Have been off sick since the flare started 5 weeks ago and the thought of going back fills me with dread.

I can't help wondering if I am doing myself further harm by taking all these meds and it scares me.

I'm so sorry for such a negative post but I really don't know who to talk to. I try to talk to people but they don't understand.

[Gymbabe]

I am on Azathroprine and all I can say is my bloods are now normal now. I don't feel much better in myself.

I get out of breath walking upstairs and have had 2 x lung function tests. The first has showed some lung damage the second the same, so as far as I can see it's working as the lung damage hasn't got any worse..

Hugs and I hope things look up soon.

Are u having regular blood tests?

[zebedee01 in reply to Gymbabe]

Thanks hun x

I only started mine yesterday but yes I will be having 2 weekly blood tests.

I just can't beleive this is happening 😞 I know I probably sound stupid via there are people worse off than me but the anxiety I feel is awful. My boss has just phoned and I can't even face talking to her! X

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK]

Hi zebedee01,

Have you discussed your anxiety and depression with your doctor? If you are not currently on any treatment for depression it may be helpful to try some anti-depressants or get a referral for counselling or psychotherapy which many people who are diagnosed with a chronic condition find helpful.

Have you discussed the likelihood of any potential risks of starting Azathioprine with your consultant and how they will monitor you to limit these risks? Hopefully some other members of the community will share their experiences of taking this treatment for you.

If you would like to talk to somebody with lupus then I would be happy to provide you with details of a telephone contact or your nearest lupus support group. Please just let me know if this would be helpful.

[zebedee01 in reply to Paul_Howard]

Thank you x that might be helpful yes, just can't face talking to anyone right now.

I have been on antidepressants for 10 years, I used to have it really bad and couldn't hardly leave the house, it has been a lot better over the past couple of years but now I feel it is coming back!

I have spoke to doctors about the treatment but I am still terrified, stupid I know!

[zebedee01 in reply to zebedee01]

Sorry forgot to say that I have spoken to my GP and he referred me for councelling x

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK in reply to zebedee01]

Whereabouts in the country do you live, then I can send you a private message with the best contact details. I'm glad that you are getting a referral to for counselling. Hopefully that will help you process your mood better.

It is not stupid to be worried about taking treatment. I would just encourage you to continue having conversations with your medical professionals and with other patients about it. Remember that these treatments go through very lengthy and rigorous safety tests and you will be closely monitored on it by your health team when you start it. If this treatment doesn't agree with you, there are other options available too.

[zebedee01 in reply to Paul_Howard]

Thank you x I live in Ilkley near leeds/Bradford, West Yorkshire x

[Paul_Howard Partner LUPUS UK in reply to zebedee01]

I'll send you a private message with contact details now.