Stressed!

Why can't the people close to me just understand I cannot do everything yes I may not look ill but I cannot keep pushing myself to please others!

[Alliand]

Hi Emma,

I feel for you; it seems you do not have much understanding and support around you. I don't have lupus; rather vasculitis, but I have a very understanding husband who has taken over most household chores.

I am hard on myself and really have not accepted my "new normal." But you have my support; chronic fatigue, pain, illness of any type takes a strong toll. You can always find support on these forums.

[Sara_A]

Oh no, that doesn’t sound too good.

Yes u have to only do what u can and try to get people to understand, I know it must be really hard as I know I’m lucky as my partner is medical too so knows all about what’s wrong and all the meds etc! However I do still sometimes feel bad and esp with the fatigue as generally by Sunday having had the kids all wk and worked 12hours I am pretty much dead and so exhausted I need to sleep and I don’t think people really understand fatigue unless they have it. I do say to him it’s nothing like just feeling tired he says he knows and gets it and it’s fine but u still feel bad as u look ok! But I could crawl out onto the pavement and sleep sometimes I feel so exhausted.

What sort of things are u having problems with if u don’t mind me asking? It may be something myself or someone else may be able to relate to or help with??!

[Lisalou19]

Sounds how I feel right about now

Unfortunately others can’t see the emotional impact of auto immune diseases. I often find myself saying if I had a broken leg others would most likely help me as they can see I’m struggling !!!!!

Worse thing also, good days are good days, bad days are bad days and people around us think it’s always a good day!

Try and get some you time if possible

X

[ER66]

Hi Emma, I'm sorry you are feeling low and frustrated.

It's hard not to scream out and tell people how you are feeling and how poorly you are inside. We always say 'yes, I'm fine...' when we are not.

Stress can add to your health problems. It's not worth it. YOU are more important...allow yourself time during the day to completely switch off. Relax. Sleep. Recharge your batteries. There is only one you...take care of you.

xx

[Ladyuponthelake]

OMG how I can identify with this. Yesterday was the first day a member of the family actually pitched in to help. This was after I had an appointment with Dr Hakim and they heard for themselves that I'm not making these symptoms up! I feel for you.

I can only recommend giving them something to read that explains your symptoms. Maybe that would help? I think sometimes we don't understand if you aren't knowledgeable of it or living it.

Your welcome to keep in touch.

🌻🌻🌻

[GillyGangGong]

I don't have lupus I don't think so anyway, I do understand how upsetting it is trying to live up to others expectations of you. I don't know how long you have been suffering but it takes time for people to realise it took my husband a good few years, it almost broke us to be honest. I hope things improve do what you can that's all you can do but look after yourself first. Sometimes it's a lonely life being sick. Xx

[Lupus1980]

I UNDERSTAND!! My dad passed away in January and I'm taking care of my 92 year old Mom! We have someone who comes here three times a week, but only for 3 hrs! I have Lupus and have had 2 kidney transplants! I have siblings, but my brother comes by once every two weeks for 2 hours! My sister visits every 6 months for a week! I do daily chores of taking care of her AND me!! It includes administering medications, dressing, and getting dressed every day! It's hard, I'm tired all the time! Sitters, cleaners cost weekly and we're on a limited budget! I do what I can and rest when my Mom rests!