I apologise in advance: this is a letting off of steam. I can't scream and grizzle with the pain because I don't want to wake the others, so I'm trying to distract myself until the codeine phos, paracetamol & ibuprofen start to work. I have lupus, Raynaud's, vasculitis, peripheral neuropathy (probably sfn) and erythromelagia. Since last November I've had crop after crop of chilblains on my toes, which become more painful at night, when the EM kicks in. For the last 8 weeks the involuted toenail on one of my big toes has been slowly carving its way through the chilblainy flesh of the toe, so there is an open wound on the tip of the toe. I am waking night after night at about 1am in agony, as the feet become hot, red & swollen with the EM. This opens up the wound and the pain is almost unbearable; shooting, stabbing, knife-twisting, burning agony. It seems out of all proportion when one looks at the size of the wound (0.25cm dia) but the whole of the toe is chilblainy so it is already painful, without the addition of the burning and swelling of EM. The combination of this malevolent trio of chilblain-damaged tissues, EM and the open, non-healing wound, has created what I describe as the perfect storm.
Today the podiatrist told me that I'm not the only one to have seriously considered, when in such pain, the merits of having my feet amputated. Crazy. Tonight, I've found myself talking kindly to my feet and gently stroking them, rather than raging and cursing them. It's not their fault, poor things!
Almost certainly, there is nothing to be done except wait until the chilblains abate and the wound slowly heals. And the neuropathy has probably heightened my response to pain. However tonight I just needed to let off steam. Thank goodness for this community. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you have experienced something similar, when it feels as if a wolf is gnawing at your feet. 😞
A very tired Tess.