I've gone back to a bad place at the moment . Yesterday my cousin Nan died . She wasn't my family by blood but I classed her as family she was like a nan . I've stayed countless times at her house with my cousins .
She felt really ill on Tuesday night . My cousin is a panicker. So I stayed with her at her nan . I had to go home wenesday because of driving lesson Thursday . My Aunty rang doctor for her . Doc said she had sickness bug . My cousins dad stayed with his mum Wednesday and Thursday . Friday morning she stopped breathing . He had to give her cpr she was gone .
She was only 67 . She had lupus as well . I just can't stop thinking and thinking things in my head . I feel lost . As she was the only person that understood lupus . We could about it she had raynaurds as well . We saw the same consualtant . I know the funeral I'll be terrible . I've already cried and couldn't stop yesterday .
I've gone back to where I think what's the point in life if your just gonna die .