Log in
22,364 members17,759 posts

Hello all - Just a wee update

2016 ended awful for me. So far getting thru 2017. No Lupus problems just life in general. My mom passed away on Dec 19. It was quick and peaceful. Her poor heart just gave out. She had battled Lymphoma and RA for the past 10 years. She's now pain free and in peace. Then on Dec 30 I broke my right wrist. Had a tussle with snow and ice and I lost. Just had the cast off a week ago but it still hurts. Dealing with Mom's estate now but getting every thing figured out. Thank god my Lupus is quiet and behaving itself. Blessings to all.

11 Replies

Hi Abby, am so sorry you've lost your Mum. It doesn't matter how old they are, does it, we want them to be around forever. What a tough start to 2017 for you. We were blessed to be with our Mum when she died 3 years ago, we just held her & told her how much we loved her. We lost our middle sister on Dec 28th - she had leukaemia. I had time to say my goodbyes & my older sister & my nephew were with her when she died.

We had the estates/houses to clear etc & my Lupus mainly behaved during those times thank goodness. However, it wasn't until a while later, after everything had been sorted, that it actually sank in what had happened - I'd been ok when we were busy. Whether it was because I'd overdone things without getting proper rest or looking after myself or whether it was the emotional upset when it finally hit me but I had flare-ups after each bereavement. Maybe they would've happened anyway, there's no way of knowing.

Just make sure you're taking care of yourself my friend. Get plenty of rest, eat healthily, get a little exercise in the fresh air if you can, try & do something that you enjoy or get pleasure from as a break from dealing with your Mum's estate. I hope you're not having to deal with all this by yourself & have help. Don't be surprised if it suddenly hits you - bereavement is different for all of us & there's no right or wrong way to go through it. Make sure you've got friends/family to talk to, don't "stuff" your feelings & don't be afraid of showing your emotions - a good cry (or even a scream !) can help a lot.

I'm glad your Lupus is quiet at the moment. Just take care of yourself, you've got buddies here & I'm here as a "virtual listener !) God Bless my friend


I second what Carolyn1063 says. I lost both of my parents a few years ago in November December - mine died suddenly and unexpectedly a few years apart - both at 73. I coped pretty well at the time I thought. I did most of the house clearance by myself as my sisters were both working. A year after my mum died my RA symptoms began after a really bad dose of food poisoning. Last year I was rediagnosed with Sjögren's. I think these two sudden bereavements acted as a trigger although I already had autoimmunity. Bereavement hits each of us differently and there's no way of predicting when and how it will hit us at all.

So sorry that you lost your mum but glad she is no longer suffering. Take care and just give yourself lots of time. X


I totally agree with Carolyn1063 and TwitchyToes,I lost my beautiful Mum in December 2015 too and it has taken me all this time to feel human ,I was the same as TT in that my Autoimmune was fairly quiet for 6 months after then went to town since,so definitely take time and be kind to yourself,sending love and strength for the days ahead ,virtual hugs XO

1 like

Hi sorry for your loss. I recently lost my mum to cancer two weeks ago after she was admitted to hospital 11 weeks before. I has been a hard time as I have a 9 month old too. My lupus went into remission whilst pregnant and I have had few symptoms since but worry that the stress of my mums illness and recent passing may impact my health baby not sleeping well either so not getting much sleep. Take care x


So sorry for your loss. 😞 Please take extra care of yourself while you heal, both physically and emotionally. Hugs.


been there got the t shirt

mums been gone 13 years dad 16 and my much adored lovely person brother 7 .

along with aunts uncles and cousins .. life is hard and when death happens we all struggle with the whole picture .

live each day like its your last enjoy it all and try and forget the grim reaper sitting in the background .

we are all going there someday so make hay while the sun shines .

think off the good times and dont dwell in the past .

give yourself a big hug from me .

im made off jelly babies inside and have only a thin hard outer shell left full of holes .

i struggle each day to keep my mind on tract but there is no option

so onwards and upwards

lots lof love pgpxxx


please take care.


Not easy to loose a parent I know and particularly just after Christmas, takes a long time to get back just on an even keel. You sound as if you're managing well, bet your mum would be proud of you.


A painful time for you, I'm so sorry xx


So sorry for you loss.


Thanks everyone for the kind words and condolences. I'm not alone in this. I have two sisters and two brothers and we are all very close. They drop everything and come help me if I ask. Its going to be a year getting every thing settled per the government rules. My father is still alive but had a massive stroke 3 years ago. He is in Long term care as is wheelchair bound and cannot speak, He understands everything we tell him and is adjusting well. I have Power of Attorney over his affairs but thats the easy part.

I love this site as everyone understands. Makes me not feel alone as you are all good listeners. So far health is fine. Wrist still painful but I'll get through its.

Hugs to all of you.


You may also like...