Both are intelligent kids, both reasonably helpful and will do their rooms etc. after the usual reminders. The 14 year old does need physically removing from his Xbox, unless given pocket money and then, whoosh,it's buning a hole in his pocket lol.
But I need help to get through in a sensitive way. I looked at some of the leaflets and I'm not sure they meet my needs. Just some tips before I go in there because after that I'm sure I will get the, yeh you told me, before I get out what I want to say.