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Emotional intelligence? Anyone worked with emotional patterning that MAY be 'associated' with lupus?

A spark of light/nudge to my ego/ hint of truth gave me opportunity and challenge to honestly acknowledge patterns that were no longer helpful but adding to 'stress' in my daily life. "Over whelm, giving up, difficulty in standing up for myself.." is turning into

"I speak up for myself freely and easily. I claim my own power." A work in process and it is making my daily life less 'stressful'.

Has anyone found 'associated' patterns work for them.??? [ Ps. very important that this is without judgement or condemning.. dwelling on those 2 feelings is not helpful.]

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Affirmations will not do any harm, might make you more positive about the life which is great for anyone who suffer physically/emotionally on everyday basis.

I tried it, didn't work for me, certainly didn't have any health benefit. I know several people who suffered from clinical depression and used positive affirmations to help them get out it with good success.

I think this approach is of benefit, you need to be careful however not to impose it on others and not to preach which is what usually happens to people who practice self-empowerment methods.


Yea, really good point, thanks. I can fall into that, being passionate about something thats worked for me AND it can be so off putting to be on the receiving end. thanks again for mentioning it.


My son suffers from clinical depression, has for most of his life and he's currently doing a "Fear Fighter" course online as he started with severe panic attacks 6 or 7 years ago and had to come home. He was in his own flat and living alone but wasn't coping, he's also partially sighted. He gets a phone call every so often during this course to talk about his progress which has been very very slow prior to the FF course.

He talked with a doctor initially about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) but didnt feel able to work with it. Its been a long 6, nearly 7 years of watching him suffer. He wont take any more meds as the last of lot antidepressants "turned" on him and gave him some nasty side effects, scared the life out of him and he was weaned off them....

Eventually I went looking for help and to cut a long story short got some help from a local charity support group. He's been seeing them for some time, they meet him and spend an hour every 2 weeks out of home. The meetings started at home and gradually moved to a meeting place outside close to home. He chooses where to go and what he wants to do although an hour isnt that long.

Since the FF course he's made positive decisions about action plans and so far so good. He works with the plan online and then puts it into practice with the support worker. I totally agree with your thoughts on positive thinking if you're able to do that, my son wasn't. I'm now looking forward to seeing him getting his confidence back and have been very grateful for the local charitys help.

I've lived with depression since I was a child, my father suffered from it and now my son, its been a painful process for us both. I wish you all the best, its so good to see your positivity :)


I dont know much about about lupus and its emotional associations, am only familiar with the physical problems as thats what the docs seem to focus on. I dont suppose my sons problems are very helpful but it was you talking about the positive side of thought that prompted me to post...


You bring tears to my eyes... all the best and I'm glad that the FF course in helping your son.


thank you - didnt mean to make you cry though...big hug xxx


Oaktree...interesting post....I was just noticing the connection recently. My whole life I never understood my depression/anxiety...I thought there was something wrong with my brain chemistry and just did my best surviving in this world. I have kept to myself many years with one or two friends and many years with no friends except my husband. Years ago my brother in law snapped at me when I was analyzing ( I am a critical thinker) a news report on something. Can't remember what it was...but he yelled at me, why are you so negative!!! I did not respond because I was hurt by this...I was just analyzing, like a is how my brain works. I see all sides of an argument. Well, I don't see my husbands family anymore because I am not understood, but criticized. I already have a terrible self esteem from my own family not understanding me growing up, and don't need to be around people that are judgemental. Anyway, I see the self esteem issue in my 12 yr old daughter even though I do my best to encourage her and praise her often. It's definitely in the brain chemically. Which I wonder if it has to do with lupus too. I don't believe in anti depressants. Was on them for a year. Will never go on again. I too believe cognitive therapy can work. My brother is a psychologist and said try to change the way your brain thinks negatively or whatever u want to change by redirecting the brain to something else. I am working on this with my little girl and myself so that I can help her get through life a little less stressed than I have lived. In the morning before school (which both my daughters hate) we try to talk about happy things. Things that make us happy to look forward to every is short...still a work in progress....every day...Good luck and I believe it's all good stuff...


Hi Oaktree, interesting post!

I have had a breakthrough in my own life more recently, after having tea with a friend who has some interesting parallel health problems to me. She told me about being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and what the symptoms were. Like me, she had gone on to suffer from anxiety, panics and then M.E. and now auto-immune problems. I too had a traumatic experience many years ago when my boyfriend (who was schizophrenic) had an 'episode' and tried to kill me. With PTSD you can blank the whole thing and forget about it, which is what I did, and then felt confused when a year later I started getting panic attacks and terrible anxiety and depression. I took anti depressants and had counselling, this helped but I still had no idea that my panic attacks were anything to do with the trauma I'd had. I then went onto have postnatal depression, along with anxiety, aches and pains, and fatigue, and then got diagnosed M.E. A few years later still, the joint pain got worse and I got a diagnosis of Lupus. I am thinking that perhaps the trauma triggered a chain reaction in my nervous system, where I felt a continuous sense of anxiety, powerlessness, and overwhelm. Now that I am aware that I could have been suffering from PTSD all these years, I am going to see what I can do to help deal with the initial trauma, so I'm seeing a therapist who does 'Somatic experiencing'. This helps you to relax and tune into your nervous system so that you can deal effectively with trauma. I am hoping that by doing this I can send signals to my body to 'stop panicking!' and perhaps my health might gradually improve.

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Dryad...Wow! Is there a connection! I have also had a traumatic experience as a young girl. I can't even talk about it publicly. I also think being diagnosed as highly sensitive (highly sensitive people by Elaine Aaron) has a lot to do with our bodies and minds both being highly sensitive to the world around us. Never heard of somatic experiencing. I will look into that. We have a kind of hypnotherapy (which i don't believe in) where they put u into hypnosis and try to put a happy memory alongside or in place of traumatic experience memory. I dont know that this works. I stopped going to therapist because I don't believe in hypnosis. Good luck... I would love to hear how and if it works.


P.S. I don't really want to recall this memory...even if it would make me feel better. Have not found a therapist that wants go take it on, either. Dangerous opening the mind to trauma again. I am so sorry for your terrible experience...


I agree I think you need to be very careful before revisiting any trauma. Trust your instincts.

I've been lent a book called "Healing Trauma' by Peter A Levine PH.D 'a pioneering program for restoring the wisdom of the body". Just reading it confirmed to me about the trauma probably being the cause of many of my problems, it comes with CD's but I feel safer working this through with a therapist I trust.

Someone recommended that I try self defence classes at some point to help me feel more confident and empowered in various situations. I might just do that after the therapy.


I should have taken classes a long time ago. I am 50 yrs old, and think I might hurt myself if I take a class. I will look up that book..thanks


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