Hello all. I am not new to this forum but I usually post on the other community. But I thought I'd stop over and say hello and give some insight on my journey with anxiety. Ive been dealing with it for almost three years now. Got through it a couple of times to where I felt myself again. Felt free. But then I fell back in that dark hole again.
My last trigger this particular time came from me having an allergic reaction put of nowhere. Ive never had one ever in my life and I didn't eat anything no different than Ive ever eaten before. Even though it wasnt a severe reaction it was mild I broke out in hives and was itchy and had burning itch for a few days. But still it frightened me because I had never expected or experienced this before. So my mind went to all kinds of bad thoughts and thinking the worst. I did not eat normal for about five days. And now it has caused me to be afraid to eat because Im scared Ill have an allergic reaction again. This anxiety has kept me captive mentally and it manifests itself to many levels as it keeps the fear cycle going by any means necessary. I say that because Ive transitioned to so many different fears throughout the course of having anxiety. First it was fear of death(which that wont leave), then it became fear of my health(which it wont leave), then it became fear of things that can harm me like foods, anything in the environment that I once before would have ignored, then it became fear of getting sick(vomiting, any kind of sickness) when I once could get sick, take medicine for it and keep it moving. Now Im even scared to take medicine for anything. Now its fear of foods that are making us sick and we dont know it. So now Im scared to eat foods that I once would eat with no problem. I never had an issue with eating. Never and appetite problem. And then my newest fear is that I will actually worry or stress myself to death. Literally.
And Ive probably had every anxiety symptoms you can name or imagine. But every time it comes back on me it seems to feel like new all over again and seems to find new symptoms to keep me afraid. I pray, I cry, and pray more. Yes prayer has brought me a long way. But I'd be lying if I said I don't still worry and feel afraid thinking the worst and thinking I'm dying.
I dont take any meds. I tried it once last year for 45 days and quit taking it because it wasnt helping me at the time. And I am trying still to get through this naturally. Its very hard.
Right now as of this day, I have had a few better days that weren't so bad mentally or physically which I try to use that to say its all anxiety but ofcourse I still think the worst. Ive gained some what of my appetite back. After having that allergic reaction about a month ago. So Im trying to get my appetite back rolling. Every time my anxiety gets bad it destroys my appetite and I have upset stomach, acid reflux, burning gut, and harldy eat. I lose weight. And then struggle to get it back. So thats what Im fighting with now is getting my appetite back strong. So I dont continue losing weight.
Anybody can relate, feel free to respond. I wish us the best. 👋