Living with Anxiety

Health anxiety sucks

Hi all one of you know me some of you probably don't...I lost my mum to cancer 10 year ago and ever since this has happened every pain or niggle I get I automatically think I've got the big 'C' or ive got some terminal illness i know it seems stupid but it a huge deal to me...I've just found out I've got a large cyst on my ovary I've got the gyno in January I've had tests done my full blood count all is well except my white blood cells are raised my Dr has took a swab from me to send to the lab for when I go gyno they suspect I have a infection somewhere but because of this incident with the cyst my health anxiety has hit the biggest low I've ever felt im constantly shaking I constantly on the loo im so shot and wet through with sweat I keep burning up I keep googling my symptoms and all im getting is leukaemia blood cancer wby dp i do this to myself I've had this anxiety years and now sucks and I can't cope with aĺl this negativity every time I get somethingI automatically think it's terminal and I make myself so I'll

Love Nat xxx

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Hello Nat :-)

Nice to see you posting but not nice to read what you are going through :-(

I totally do understand though

I have health anxiety always have done but over the years controlled it until my Dad died 3 years ago and he died from cancer which was a shock as cancer does not run in our family other things do like heart but not cancer so the moment that happened you can guess , every time I got an ache or pain I was flying to the Doctors thinking it was the C word !

Well I had a pain not so long ago in my side near where my ovaries would be , cutting a long story as short as I can after going to the Doctor several times they said well I think we will do a blood test and send you for a scan , the blood test been the one that can detect cancer , well you can imagine , I could not sleep , sweating as you say , crying , you name it , my anxiety well I cannot remember the last time it had ever been that bad and I thought no way can I deal with this

The blood test thank god came back fine and the scan well they could not even find my ovaries they said that was normal at my age ! in other words getting old ! but for some strange reason I had scaring on my kidney but nothing to worry about

Now I have something going weird again with my bladder where I need the loo all the time , yet that is a irritable bladder I have been told but of course my anxiety is trying to tell me it is the you know what

Trust me Nat please and I know you know but keep of Google my friend , I did it and it made everything 1000 worse and I know better not to so no matter how tempted you are avoid it and come on here and talk instead , I eventually did and I felt a lot better for it

Cysts on ovaries are very common indeed , while I was going through my trauma a friend of mine told me about when she had one and that is what the doctors told her this is something they see all the time

Sometimes depending how big they are they will remove them , which is what she had done and other times they will just keep an eye on them as they can go on their own either way they sort us them out

Now listen , if for one minute they thought it was the c word they would not say see you in January they would have you in asp

They will have taken all your medical history into account as well as your symptoms and they are not panicking so I know it is easier said than done but try not to let this engulf you because I know how ill we make ourselves and then after we could kick ourselves when everything is fine and I am sure it will be :-)

Remember , this is a common problem thousands of women have cysts and they are fine and you will be to :-)

If you feel you cannot manage see your Doctor tell them just how bad this has got to you and maybe ask for something to help calm you down

We are here to talk Nat so come on when you need to :-)

Let us know how everything goes and try as hard as you can to put this to one side and have the best Christmas you can :-)

Take Care x

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Hi lulu-1 thanks so much for this it really helps to know I'm not alone I'm always wet through with sweat cuz of me panicking I shake my leg constantly to keep the focus off me head thinking things...it's not the cyst I'm so worried about its the fact my white cell and platelets blood are raised that's what's scaring me cuz my uncle died last year of myeloid leukaemia so I'm a mess thinking I've got that I'm in such a state can't stop shaking I'm wet through with panic talking to you now i just can't stop thinking about it making myself ill keep thinking they gonna give me bad news I just can't snap out of it Dr has upped my tablets to the maximum but when I get this way I can't shake it off for weeks until I get news that it's nothing to worry about...my full blood count came back the cancer one was Normal but my white cells and platelets are raised Dr says I've probably got a infection downstairs but I still can't convince myself that's all it is...I know in my mind that ill b fine but just can't seem to help myself I'm such a mess babes

Love Nat xxx

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Hello Nat :-)

Right so you to had the cancer blood test done and it was fine :-)

Now I hope I can reassure you and I do trust my Doctor as she has never advised me wrong but that cancer blood test is very very sensitive indeed was what she said and if there was anything it shows it up so sweetheart please trust the Doctor they will be right and I bet you could have an infection which again is common

The other week , I scared myself again ,won't put what it was for all to read but I was on the phone sweating because I am just like you with that it pours out of me when I am anxious and do you know in the end I had caught myself with my finger nail and that was all it was ! I felt a right plonker but there you go that's how HA gets you !

I would say any other time of the year to push and insist they see you sooner and I would no doubt knowing me try and still do that but we also know with Christmas everything starts slowing down but as you seem in a real state I would still speak with my Doctor again and see if they can help reassure you , maybe ask for a phone call tell them you feel you have reached breaking point and need to speak with a Doctor they should call you especially if you say that

I do understand about family members dying with this and that and so we think it will be us next but as I am always told I am not them I am me and that makes a huge difference to the fact we won't !

You have been having a really tough time lately with the scare with your husband and stayed strong while you dealt with that I would imagine it must have took it out of you and that when you have had this fright you are not back on full form yet to deal with it as you may have if you had not been going through all you have been

It will be all ok , I know I can say it a thousand times but it will be :-)

I hope you are getting plenty of hugs from loved ones because I can feel you need that as well as deserve that :-)

Try seeing if you can speak with your Doctor again , please remember they do know what they are doing and they have to keep their jobs well I would imagine they would want to so there is no reason they would be neglecting something they thought needed immediate attention

Try taking a nice bath and deep breaths , some meditation , I know the last thing you feel like doing when you are in full blown panic in fact you sometimes feel like saying O shut up to people that suggest it but they do because they know it can help

Distraction , a god movie anything that distracts you , you will be fine and we are here to listen when you need to talk you will get through this :-) x

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