As the day shifts to night, and night shifts to day, I am considering more and more that my constant anxiety is the reason why I am so emotionally detached. It makes sense, really. Also, I believe derealization correlates to this as well. I will explain why:
So, anxiety can induce a symptom of dissociation, which can either be depersonalization or derealization, sometimes both. Dissociation, generally, is detachment from one's self and/or external stimuli. While I do not have depersonalization, I am indeed detached from the self, emotionally, and externally.
Of course, the underlining cause of all of this is my anxiety, but there may be another factor as well. Which is my over active mind. You see, my mind is prone, and suffers from, 'scrambling' thoughts. Imagine playing pole but without the pockets, and with one-thousand balls, you start the game as you normally would and all the balls scatter everywhere, now imagine none of them stopping nor decreasing in speed. They will collide with one another, bounce of the walls, and will continue to do this. That is my mind. And what makes it worse is that I grab one thought, and focus on it, while all the other thoughts are out creating turmoil. When I grab another thought, my previous one is at ease, but only temporarily. I am so absorbed by all of this that I can't really focus on external stimuli, hence inducing the detachment I speak of.
Honestly, I am at a loss. I have been pondering about my obscured sentiments (alexithymia) obsessively, and now my attention may shift to my perpetually scrambled thoughts. Ah, one must love how chaotic oneself can be. No?