Newbie with anxiety

Hi I suffer from anxiety, a few years ago I had depression and anxiety attacks which led me to stop going places. I dealt with the depression through counselling, but still struggled with the panic attacks and anxiety. I started pushing myself (gently) into getting out and to places which I avoided and overtime I felt better at going, as long as the places weren't too crowded. I fell pregnant which seemed to set me back, bringing back memories from previous pregnancies and relationship, started counselling and was told I possibly had a former of ptsd and cbt was suggested but at that time was too far in the pregnancy and suggested I go back after baby. I had baby and think the anxiety has rubbed of on him. I never found the time to continue with the counselling, and a couple of months ago found I was getting some control, I recognised that baby needed to be socialising, which may help with his clingyness and that forced me into action. Putting his needs before mine, despite being totally uncomfortable. It's not often I get full on panic attacks now, but anxiety still has a hold, recently it's resurfaced and prevents me from going out. If I do something spontaneous anxiety shows up and I feel like I'm not supposed to be doing this, I'll get into trouble. It's a vicious circle. I keep telling myself I'm an adult, if I want to go to the park or into town when I haven't planned it, it's okay. It's a fear of the unknown or what people will think, I don't quite understand why I fear these so much, I know it's all in my head. When I tell friends I can't go out places I feel like a fraud or I'm just being lazy, but it's more like I have something physically stopping me from going.

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  • Hi and welcome...I was totally the same as you wen I first started to get anxiety didn't go out didn't really want to be around large crowds...I was bad with worrying all the time about everything and at the docs all the time...I'm so much better now and like u I have children witch I think helps u to get out and about more even if u don't really feel like It I still have this thing we're I don't like to go to far away from home but have been getting much better at it we started going camping witch I was very anxious about but really enjoyed it and this year we are going a little bit further away witch I'm already worrying about slightly but I'm sure r love it once there and more importantly the kids really love going... U sound like u r getting out and about and the best thing is to do it all in your own time and if u think it's to much then don't go it will get better just seems to take awhile...hope u had a nice weekend x

  • I'm glad your able to understand, I don't think my family and friends understand completely which makes me feel pretty lonely and isolated especially if I don't go out.

  • Yes I so do understand... It is hard if u don't have anyone that gets it I'm very lucky that I do have gd support and know family and also friends that have had it and still do and it really does help to talk about it maybe getting family and friends to read up about it could help them to help you...this is a bit quiet now it use to be very busy with alot of people getting gd reply bk to there post so I do hope it gets a bit better as its a big help x

  • This is exactly how I feel! It's the first time I've read it and my first time on her by the way 😥 I started with this about two years ago, I used to be so confident, out going and bubbly! The thing you said about reminding yourself you are an adult if you want to go to the park or town etc you can really struck with me. I've only just realised I do this!! It's like I'm waiting for everyone's permission. I am an adult I'm going to start being one, lol easier said than done xxx good luck xx just for interest did you have strict parents like me? That's the only thing I can put it down to -always being told what to do etc and I still think I have to wait to be told!!

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