Living with Anxiety

Extreme guilt sometimes self harm

Does anyone else feel they have guilt so strong it affects so many aspects of their lives?

I've been diagnosed with a bunch of mental health stuff and I have quite extreme anxiety and self harming, and with my therapist we've found how being blamed in my family for things like my mother's cancer and my family's money problems is what has helped a deep-set guilt in me.

Does anyone know of any ways of dealing with guilt/shame about themselves on a daily basis?

I guess usually I would self harm but I am really trying to stop that coping strategy.

sorry if this is a weird quiestion

3 Replies

Hi, Just to let you know I have read your post, but I don't have any answers for you.

Guilt is a harmful emotion, as you have found out, but we are not liable for anybody else, and you certainly cant be guilty of bringing an illness on to anybody.

Glad your keeping the self harm at bay. xx


hi, my o/h suffers the same as you , guilty thoughts, mainly from her past, but the negative thoughts are all part of the anxiety problem, the thoughts are stored in your mind , so one bad leads on to another bad thought and there the cycle starts, all i can say is that you are not the cause of your mams cancer or money problems, they are called life, no one knows who is going to get cancer it is a lottery, and money problems, well i think most people have them in one way or another, so well done not self harming, that is a very positive start. love jasper xx


hi Alonely, you can not, in any way that I know of, have been responsible for your Mum's cancer.

if your family said your were purple with blue stripes would that make it true? that's easier to dismiss & ignore as absurd. but saying you caused cancer is just as absurd.

the difference is you care about your family, so these are the things that affect you and upset you. they also prey on your mind. Please don't feel shame or guilt, you are not responsible.

maybe write down things they say. when you are alone, sit and calmly look at it, then you can see it's not true.

well done for avoiding self-harming, that must have been hard.

I am pleased that you and your therapist are working through things.




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