I might be going through what could be the first time I feel a need to create art 24 hours a day or whenever I am not asleep. While this might be a good positive, there is a flipside. I am feeling terrible dread and guilt for the moments in which I am not, and while I am creating art, I often feel like I am not good enough.
I have worked in the game industry for a couple years. I have had to face that I am not hire-able as an artist at the moment. I haven't been able to find work.
I miss the security of having a full time job as an artist. Lately I have had to find other means to support myself such as working as a part time artists' model. I'd rather just be doing art. I think perhaps it is time I consider going to a good art school.
This morning I slept through my alarm and missed work.
This makes me feel horrible and insecure about myself as an employee. I feel a good little cry is in order as I don't think burying this down for a later outburst today would be wise. If this support forum was not here, I am not sure what I would do to express myself constructively.
So thankyou everyone for being there for me.