Over recent months I have been experiencing increasing issues in my life. I have become extremely withdrawn and numb (a very cold person) to the impact that I am having on others. I get extremely anxious over silly things and this causes me to become avoidant or irritable. I am more easily frustrated/angry over trivial things and have increasingly angry towards others (mostly my wife and two sons), snapping at them all of the time. After this I feel huge amounts of regret and worthlessness. My sleep pattern is poor - when I go to bed I am increasingly restless and find it difficult to nod off. This means that I am extremely fatigued and when I do find the motivation to spend time with loved ones cannot sustain an activity for long enough to make it meaningful (i.e. simply watching a film with my eldest son and falling asleep before the beginning credits are finished). I also have a poor diet and stomach problems (churning guts and occasional diarrhoea.
After a very difficult few weeks things came to a head and I almost lost my family altogether. This made me face up to the fact that I have been struggling with the effects of anxiety and depression going back over an extremely long time (maybe 10 years).
I have been to talk to my GP and have been given a referral to counselling and need to return in two weeks to decide if I want to try medication (she suggested Citalopram). I have spoken to my family at length (to many this has not come as a complete surprise) and they have been immensely supportive. This process has in itself been extremely cathartic and I am already feeling more positive for having admitted the problems that I am facing.
The plan is to utilise this as a catalyst to make many positive changes to my life (diet, exercise....). I feel that it is going to be a long journey but perhaps over the next few months/years I might be reporting that the old, outgoing and popular me has returned after an absence of many years.
If anyone is going through similar it would be great to share their journeys and if possible to use each others experiences and hopefully make the recovery process a little bit more pleasant.
Thanks for listening!!