New Here, Help Please

I don't know how to describe what I'm going through but I feel so alone. I go to uni but live at home which means I don't have any friends there, all of my friends at home have moved away for uni and at work I just feel so unwanted. Nobody really cares and don't want to see outside of work and so every day I just come home and sit in my room alone. Ive been feeling down for a while now. I barely eat and nothing seems to make me happy. I don't have anyone I can tell this to. I just want it to go away. My life feels like a meaningless cycle where nothing gives me joy and I just put on a face to everybody to avoid having to say all of this.

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  • Very sorry to hear of this; i know, i've been there. Basic question: do you have parents? Can you talk to them or any family member? Is your course interesting? Can you talk with those taking the course? Is there a college counsellor you can talk to? That's a lot of questions! All i can suggest is if you are continually depressed, speak to your GP

    Good luck!

  • Hi, thanks for replying.

    I live with my parents but I don't want to talk to them about it. Its not a conversation I'd want to have with them. I think I'm scared that they'd shrug it off and say it would pass in time but Ive sat and done nothing about it for a while and I'm still no better. Worse if anything.

    I do like my course but virtually everybody there knows each other and so walking in from the outside is tough. Ive met a couple of people and got along with them but by the end of the hour they go back to their room and I go home and we don't speak again.

    In all honesty, I never considered that this would be anything out of the norm until in a drunken conversation one of my friends told me that he'd been suffering with anxiety and that he'd been seeing someone for it and that I was the only person he'd told. We never spoke about it since that night and now he's moved away but it made me realise that maybe I could get help too but I still feel so conflicted about that. That is the closest I've ever come to telling somebody about all of this.

  • Hello owen_ and welcome to our friendly and supportive Community.

    You have been very brave taking this first step reaching out owen_. I am assuming you are around 18/19 years of age and have just started Uni. It can be very isolating when 6th Form/College finishes and everyone goes their different ways to University or to start work.

    Many changes in a relatively short space of time. Others will be struggling too and putting on a brave face. You are not alone owen_. Koizumi has given you some sound advice.

    I would urge you to make an appointment to see your GP and explain how you are feeling. You can take a copy of this post with you to show to your GP if you wish. Your GP will know the support that you need. Also do arrange to see someone at Uni for additional support.

    Please try to talk to your parents about how you are feeling. They cannot help you if you do not talk to them.

    Owen_ do you feel able to join in any activities/clubs at Uni at the moment? That is a good way to meet people too.

    We are always here to 'listen' and support you in any way we can. Do be kind to yourself and take care,

    Lottie

  • Hi, thanks for replying.

    I am 18 and have just started uni. I had these feelings before but at least when I had friends, they were a distraction. I could do something with them to take my mind off the thoughts I was having. I think thats why everything's got worse over the last month or 2.

    I do live with my parents but don't want to tell them about this. I don't want to be seen as wanting attention or overreacting. At the same time, I don't want to worry them or have them treat me any differently.

    I feel like I'm on the outside of everyone's circle looking in. I just need one person who I can tell anything to and who genuinely enjoys my company rather than enjoying the idea of me sitting in the background, waiting, in case they ever need someone to make them laugh.

    Ive tried to join the football team at uni but I'm still unsure if I'll be able to make it due to juggling a job at the same time.

    I just want some direction to go in. I want to get better but I also want to be left alone.

  • I hear what you are saying owen_.

    To achieve the friendship you would like does take time. It would be a good opportunity if you can join the football team at Uni. Are there any other clubs/activities or sports you could consider that do not clash with your job.

    I think it would be worth you making an appointment to see the Counsellor at Uni. It would give you a chance to share your concerns, talk about how you are feeling and get some support which I am sure you will find helpful.

    Please do let us know how you get on. We are always here to listen and support you,

    Lottie x

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