Hi everyone...still feeling blue 2 weeks on. My heart is aching & I feel like I've let my 1 & only precious embie down. I never thought we'd get this far & was feeling more positive this 2nd cycle. It felt surreal having done EC then ET & only to have AF come the day after my OTD-where the nurse told me my BFN! 🙁😔
I felt SO positive-I even interrupted the embryologist to say we were prepared to do ICSI. She said there was no need. My heart stopped the day after EC when I heard the news our only egg fertilised 😍. I even contemplated taking time off work. I didn't tell my manager & work colleagues as knew it would make my heartache & sorrow worse.
I even counted what day my 'future baby' might be due & it fell on my mum's bday in April 2018. I took that as a sign & I cried a lot during the 2WW.
I'm now 42 & don't know if I should still try. Maybe my body was not designed for this purpose. It just hurts so much as I work with babies. I feel like being slapped in the face with my infertility in a workplace rife with life.
I feel so low I can't wait for my holiday in a month's time. I also have fantasised changing jobs so many times it's driven my long suffering husband crazy.
We've been married for 7 years & have been together for 12 years total & have no mini versions of ourselves 😔☹🙁
So sorry for my long & depressing message x