Maybe it's time to give up

[milaSM]

I wasn't active for a really long time... I'm back bc I know you'll understand and support. Girls, now I need you more than ever! I was about to go to Ukraine to have a cycle of IVF with donor eggs when all this madness with the virus started... Everything was planned and I was SO ready to do this cycle! Finally, I was feeling I have a great chance and I was having high hopes! Now borders are closed. I have no idea when they will be open. Moreover, I have no idea if de IVF programs are available for foreigners after airports are open. I was waiting for this opportunity for years!!! I was planning this cycle for a year! And now I'm lost, depressed, frustrated, mad and feeling all possible negative emotions... Honestly, I want to scream! Maybe this's some sort of a sign. Maybe I just need to stop, to quit, to give up. I don't know!

Sorry for this depressing vent. I don't know what else to add...

[stellaSS]

I know these are your emotions which are saying about giving up! The situation sucks. And I'm so sorry, hun! Please, keep going! I'm in surrogacy with a Ukrainian clinic and well, things not going perfect as I couldn't come for childbirth of my daughter and I'll be able to see her only in 3 weeks... But I was waiting for this moment for 7 years! And I'm so grateful to myself I didn't give up! My manager says the borders will be open in July - August and as soon as that happens they will be back to work! Stay in contact with your clinic and they will provide all info about this situation. Sending you my hug and positive vibes! Hang in there!)

[milaSM in reply to stellaSS]

Thanks, Stella! I was really emotional while writing my post. That terrible thought that maybe I'm not supposed to be a mother hit me again. And it hit so hard... Seems like the whole Universe is against me. I know this is not true, but some days are really hard. I appreciate your support! I'm sorry to hear about your situation! Does your clinic provide you with any info about your baby? Where is she now? I hope you'll see your dd asap!

[backet]

Same situation over here! You may remember my December thread, where I told everything about my failed cycles and that my DH and I are planning to have DE IVF cycle in April. I was so depressed at that moment and now I'm just broken in pieces...

I was hoping to dedicate 3 months to myself, my cats and my relationships with my DH before we start the new cycle. I was hoping to take some rest from ttc and just relax (yeah I hate this word, but that's what I was planning to do). And then BAM - all plans are ruined and everything is so mixed up!!! I'm desperate!

Hun, I don't think it's a sign! Please don't think about giving up. I'm also mad as I need to wait AGAIN. I do my best to dedicate this time to myself and my family. As soon as the quarantine is over, I'm having my cycle, no matter what!

[milaSM in reply to backet]

I'm so glad you've replied! I know exactly how you feel... Well, at least, now I know I'm not alone. Seems everyone around is doing great! They conceive a bunch of kids so easily, they give birth and they actually live their lives! And I'm just watching them somewhere in the dark corner... Waiting and hoping, but nothing actually happens. Only failures and tears. Ahhh sorry for me being sooo negative! Thanks a lot for your support! I sent you a PM, pls check your inbox!

[Karinyaa]

I understand all your concerns, luv. God love you poor thing, I'm sorry..You're a bravie, hun, sending all my positive thoughts your way. I experienced ICSI cycles myself. Last shot we were doing with one egg fertilized only and it was not of the best quality. Though that needle phobia was getting on me thremendously. I'm not laying on the colours too thickly, we never know what to expect until try doing this ourselves..The situation with the COVID is not so easy now, no one knows how the things will be getting on..Still you can contact your clinic and ask them, right? Which one are you using? Mine was just great. I never felt lack of communication with them. I could call my nurse and was sure to have a good explanation on things going on with my body. Besides they had/have a support line avaliable any time of the day. This is so important to be heard and understood and helped in time..So wishing you the same. Keep us updated x

[Mel77]

Sorry to hear this .. I'm with you.

Waiting time frames always scare IP. Noone wants some extra waiting having already put into treatments years. We've tried 3 ivf cycles with own eggs at the clinic home. All failed. I wish we moved straight to Kiev for donor egg. This way we wouldn't have wasted precious time. But every story is good if with happy end. We're parenting our de ivf twins

I hope you're feeling much better now. Stay well.

[Marmo]

I totally understand the struggle you were going through. But felt like couldn't read and then go away. So here's me with some of my background. The truth of the matter is, infertility is painful at any stage. Even the very beginning. I can remember when we very first learned we wouldn’t be able to conceive on our own, I was crushed. I felt so powerless. I felt like a fundamental right had been ripped away from me. I had to grieve the picture of creating our family between the two of us. And I was angry and resistant to the picture that included nurses, doctors, needles, and unanswered questions. We’d been 2 years, several iUis, two surgeries, OE IVF shots in a Greek clinic before finally got successful with DE ivf procedure at a Ukrainian clinic.

I remember our doc found out nothing about me. She told it was unexplained which hit me even more. We even didn't know what we were fighting against!

Still having several unanswered questions in, I felt that that beginning experience was every bit as painful as the events that have followed. For us both that moment was a huge challenge to face...This made me so jealous with ladies having 2,3 – more kids with no special effort. So the question was coming – Why not me?? Me too! I wanted more BUT we couldn’t without IVF and donor eggs.

Whatever happens just keep on moving !!

[Karinyaa]

Hi there. I think I got a thing to share with you. Recently I've got to know he clinic we were treated at found the solution to closed boarders for their foreign patients. They are currently sending sth like a special invitation. The patients are using it to cross the boarder undependently of pandemic dynamics. All they can come and proceed with treatments or complete their final stages. (You've probably watched videos on surrogacy babies who got ''stuck'' in Ukraine, because their parents couldn't come and take them home because of the closed boarders..) This nightmare is a thing from the past now. So I just thought you could ask your clinic whether they're sending such invitations.

I hope you're doing well, hun. Any updates are welcomed a lot, hugs x

[milaSM in reply to Karinyaa]

Thank you so much for this info! As soon as I saw your reply, I've contacted my clinic. Our initial consultation is scheduled for Wednesday, October 14th! We've already received our invitation! I can't believe it's actually happening! You've literally saved me! I'll post an update after the consultation. Fingers crossed!

[Karinyaa in reply to milaSM]

Fingers crossed for you, hun. I'm sure guys know the field! Think positively.

Are you already in Kiev?

Also don't forget to make up a list of questions to ask your dr. I know from my own experience it's easy to forget some even really important ones if you're nervous. (And you actually are to some extent when stepping into a completely new procedure) So it would be nice to write things down. As well as take notes of what your dr tells you.

Believe me, you'll have a different glance at things as soon as you come to your hotel - lol. All my positive thoughts going your way, hugs x

[Pittapatta]

MilaSM, have hope! Don't give up just yet. No one knows what the future holds but think of this pause in cycle as a time for more prep, you will well and truly ready to continue your journey when things open up and just think how good a condition your body will be in!! Take the time maybe to focus on other important things in you life right now, relieve your stress, have fun and when the time comes to continue your journey maybe better success!! Hang in there. 🙏🙏🙏

[Loraine7]

The main thing which can get everybody out of melancholy is a child. So imagine a scenario where your better half has children from his past connections. That doesn't guarantee that he doesn't have any richness issue now. Along these lines, I'd offer you go to a richness facility and complete tests. In any case you should know the explanation behind your fruitlessness. It can be treatable. Furthermore, have a go at thinking about the most effective pathy of IVF. It is the inclining strategy to have a child these days. The achievement rates are high.I want all struggling ladies here to enjoy all that life has to offer, thatch act like the sending child tidy your direction. as where your reality of though lie.

[SerrineV in reply to Loraine7]

This is my personal opinion, but... Considering donor egg is never easy. just from the first time you realize you may need it. The reasons vary among ladies. but the major one seems is that we all want biologically related kids, right? When using donor egg you just drop this opportunity and it becomes the hugest milestone for a woman. The thing is that we all should remain realistic over the age related issues. It’s a well known scientific fact that egg quality drops the older we get. And if you’re for example, 42 yrs old and evaluating your chances with own egg or donor egg, then you should seriously consider donor eggs. as those might give you 50% more chance of conceiving. (abnormalties in own eggs may lead to different outcomes. Be this a mc or implantation failure - you’ll better to know your eggs for ivf are just perfect to feel less stressed and this way improving your chances for success). I know couples who opted for donor eggs in biotex com clinic, Kiev. They say they have nothing to regret about. One fo them has recently had their 7 wks scan. Everything’s been great so far..Hoping everyone's sweet DE IVF bean is/will be growing healthy inside.

[Loraine7]

That's just what I thought about! I'm pleased to see others with similar opinion. The intensity and waiting involved with IVF (screenings, testing, and procedures) is almost more than most can bear. Some couples have already waited months and even years to get pregnant. Then, they are immediately disappointed to find that the IVF process involves a lengthy time commitment. As you focus on staying patient during this time, an important IVF success tip is to stay busy. Make plans to stay active with friends and family. Discover a hobby or a new activity that is relaxing a bit. Try to keep your mind off of any worries or potential setbacks during the IVF journey. And, most importantly, have hope that your doctors will do all they can to help you get pregnant and have a healthy baby. Make sure you're in the right fertility place. Talk openly to med staff. Feel free to ask as many questions as needed if it does help keep you sane. I believe this brings much more benefits rather than stressing out. I know it's hard. Still cannot be thankful enough all the staff in our Ukrainian clinic, BTC, for all the support and of course our sweet LO. This all is definitely not about using those Chinese stones..or doing acupuncture..

This is my personal point of view though.

[SerrineV]

That’s super nice BTC allows its patients to choose the donor. I love the way the clinic screens its potential donors. The info is detailed. The profiles contain literally ALL info on the donor’s personality, health and phsycological status. all the ladies are young and attractive. It’s definitely not easy to make the choice at once! Surely, dr is the last one to make the final decision. But mostly the IP’s wish coincides with the dr’s one. On the whole this is a great place to be with. The staff is awesome. Kind smiling people make you feel a bit more comforted when getting the core of the treatment plans. Special thanks to egg donors/surrogates.