Surrender

[jade_ds]

The word of the day is surrender. Surrender to whatever this is. This life. These struggles. I am literally doing everything that I can to get a chance to make a baby faster. Short of us moving to another state. Which is a ridiculous thought right now anyway. There is nothing else I can do. So why keep fighting with that? I’m tired of being sad. I’ll think about it everyday until it happens but I can accept that. In the meantime I gotta figure out how to bring meaning and joy back instead of just focusing on what I don’t have. Want doesn’t get. I’m just done fighting against it all. It is so tiring. And the more I fight, the deeper I sink, the more I feel like I’m drowning. I think I’m just going to relax and float away with the currents for a while.

[sam_sail01]

dont loose hope my dear dont be disheartened at all

because what happens happens for our own welfare ,

soo have faith and just go with the flow .

everything gonna be alright !!

you dont have to discourage yorself.

you should take care of urself and just do what you feel is gud for uh

and let the things go by on their own sometimes we have to go with the flow so dont be disheartened dear you w,smile and lead a good life ahead

[JessicaJ]

Hi Jade_ds

Well dear go with the flow and move on . Do what you like and stay happy . don't be so upset . everything will be fine.

[Karinyaa in reply to JessicaJ]

I felt the same at the beginning of our infertility journey. Here's my story in brief. We've been together with dh for 10 years. 2 years of which spent ttc. After we got no results we applied for a fertility expert's help. Soon I was diagnosed on severe endo. In haste we did try IUI, ICSI shots, despite dh's semen low count and motility. But it didn't work, as later we got to know my eggs were useless for the procedures. So we went on egg donation route with overseas clinic. We got our baby after shot#3.) But the hardest were the things with egg donation track. I saw so many others moving on. Why couldn't I? Why did counseling just make me feel worse? This was my husband's only option, in a marriage with me, at being a bio dad. But I felt so guilty for taking that away from him because of my defective body. And because of my selfishness of not wanting to see him mixed with someone else!! I knew he desperately wanted his own genetic child. Even if that had to be a child that would be half another woman. He was content with the de option. He was supportive of fostering or remaining childless. Or throwing ourselves into volunteering and helping others. I knew he was hurting too and that option sounded nice. It took really loooong for me to get there. But I'm thankful I was finally meant to. The path is tough and difficult, but endurable. Of course take time needed to recover emotionally. This will lead you to another step. I hope you'll soon feel better, honey, with your thoughts so that you can keep on moving. Praying for your luck!!