Egg donor - anonymity factor?..

[Marmo]

Hi, have posted this on another thread. Speaking as someone who had to go the donor egg route, but as yet unable to accept or wrap my head around the idea, one of the huge barriers for me is the anonymity factor. I feel so strongly that it is not my right to make that decision for my child. It should be theirs to make at least when they turn 18. Identity is important to us as humans, and what it means to us individually shouldn't be imposed on others. Rather that the child have the ability to make their own decision "if" they eventually want to contact their donor.

In fact I was extremely happy when my embryo using "preferred" donor ended positively.. The donor was "preferred" because I have so much information on her (specifically in an area I am very familiar with/have a lot of connections), that literally I could make 2-3 phone calls and find out who she is. Ethically I would never do that now just for myself. But it gave me extra comfort knowing that if she'd disappeared by the time the child turned 18, we'd still be able to find her if the child chose to.

I believe egg donor more difficult, and I really either wanted to know or at least have met and connected with the donor. So that to be comfortable with who they are. Depends on the situation of course.. What do you think??

[andylins]

Hi, honey. Thank you for starting this thread. The issue is quite complicated, I believe not all the parents are eager to keep in touch with their egg donors..Up to the level they can one day introduce them to their DE IVF children..I honestly cannot say what whould I do. We used donor egg overseas too. What attracted us the most was that conducting programs of the egg donation and surrogate motherhood doctors at the clinic calculate the ideal "window of implantation". And this is known to be the most successful period for the embryo transfer without disturbing its structure and endometrium integrity. ( I was wondering how they are doing it). The clinic's specialists use only individual approach in each case. They carry out detailed diagnostics in order to identify clearly the seeds of the disease or reasons of the unsuccessful IVF attempts (if any). There are no identical protocols at the clinic and the team does not work in the traces!! Moreover they are working with 5day blasts only. Those are known to be better developed, hence have more chances to implant. So our beautiful donor produced a lot of healthy eggs for us. which I cannot be thankful enough. What makes things better is that we still do have a plenty of time to decide what's gonna be the best approach in future. Whether just saying ''Ok, boy, you're a DE IVF kid..''would be enough. Or we'd turn into more details on the donor..Looking forward for more opinions too. Have a nice day x

[Marmo in reply to andylins]

Thank you for your reply. It means a lot you and others are ready to share.

This is nice you've got the best experiences with the clinic used. And the fact they are using 5day blasts and performing cycles fresh is awesome. I believe this tends to be a more widely spread treatment approach within reproductive centers. But quite often I read the posts ladies say frozen is gonna be more beneficial. what I really doubt myslef.., but again this is my personal point of view. Then, I do think the kid will want to know some more information..I'm afraid saying ''you're a DE IVF kid'' won't be enough..At least this is the thought which is quite bothering me these days. What should I say, if my princess asks.. How to start this conversation..How to put things more easy..I know for sure, this is me and my dh she has to get to know about from..

Praying for peace. Hugs x

[Loraine7]

Ladies, since we've gone through infertility treatments route, I did get to know a plenty of things about the options. As for the DE, it's absolutely great option, you, ladies, are a great example on how it works in practice. And if there's no other way out, then why not to use it?! Well, my case differs. We used own egg with surrogacy. I cannot carry babies myself, and will never be able to. because I suffer a heart disease preventing me from a successful pregnancy. My first ever doc told me ''well, you can conceive, there are no obstacles for doing this. But you'll never carry the baby to full term.'' Not even a single chance was given to me, this crushed me completely and ruined all my dreams and expectations. I thought with the help of certain meds I'd do it, but pregnancy turned out to be life threatening to both..It's interesting to read your thoughts on egg donor anonymity factor and all things concerning egg donation. I will definitely tell our LO about our surrogacy journey. Then I believe it's a personal choice whether to meet the surrogate one day or not. I just know I won't create any obstacles.

[Karinyaa]

Hi, ladies. A little background. I'm ripe age, diagnosed on severe stage endo. Later adding amh <0,1. You see, this is non existent eggs at all, possibly just one. I've got my tubes delated which was caused by endo scarring. dh - is super perfect. We've gone through 2 failed icsi rounds and one failed ivf with own eggs which resulted in early miscarriage. Finally opted for egg donation route with ukrainian clinic due to recommendations and achieved success with them. We have a baby-boy.

See, your case might feel different. But I think we turn to donor eggs as the success rates are higher. And we're given too small chance of conceiving with OE. We received the following information about the donor: nationality, height, weight, eye and hair color, education, family and children, blood group and Rh factor. According to the Ukrainian law, egg donors cannot take upon themselves parental responsibilities with the respect to the future child. Parties sign an agreement, which defines all the rights and obligations of the contract parties. And since this time you can set your mind at ease which is also extremelly important.

[andylins]

Hi, lovelies. This is my personal point of view but no matter how we struggle for our kids - they are ours! As I've posted previously, we passed de ivf treatment plan abroad, in Kiev. Here are some of their really strong sides. Their embryologists work with fresh genetic material (eggs/sperm cryopreservation is used only at patient’s will). It is known and proven that quality of eggs gets worse during the freezing process leading to the failed IVF attempts. In addition to the spermogram doctors there conduct sperm analysis for apoptosis. Conducting this medical test embryologist determines presence of the damaged sperm cells which prevent successful conception and can cause child’s DNA damage. In the case of cells’ poor quality, doctor prescribes appropriate medication, afterwards performs reanalysis and successfully fertilize the egg. Karyotype analysis is the part of a standard analyzes set (karyotype test shows the total number of chromosomes, the sex of the person being studied, and if there are any structural abnormalities with any of the individual chromosomes which can cause child’s diseases). They can also calculate the ideal 'window of implantation'. This is the most successful period for the embryo transfer without disturbing its structure and endometrium integrity. Their medical staff carry out detailed diagnostics of patients in order to identify clearly the seeds of the disease or reasons of the unsuccessful IVF attempts. There are no identical protocols!! They walk the line of the latest methods of treatment. So, for example, embryologists use the most successful method of working with blastocysts, namely, embryo transfer on the fifth day. Or they're currently widely using the mitochondria replacement therapy with ivf which is aimed to supply the eggs with the needed energy for successful fertilization and further blast development.

[cleo801]

I personally want a procedure to be anonymous. I will probably tell my child about a donor (if de ivf works for me). I do not want to lie or hide anything from my child. I don't think there will be problems with that as there is so much info on how to tell. But honestly, I see no point in non-anonymous procedure. It's just my opinion. Good luck to everyone out there going through de ivf route!