am i already a corpse or having a cha... - Infertility Support

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am i already a corpse or having a chance? am i so stupid and naive? do not reply i know that perfectly

Pere profile image
Pere
31 Replies

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Hello all

Don’t have ideas how to begin my story to tell

Actually I can’t be aware of whether you had read my previous post or I need to refresh your memory about my misfortune. It’s all over…

I’m fatty. I’ll try being honest in the face of reality.

When I was here last time… I felt well, indeed it was amazing time I experienced.

But… But I was captured by the concerns. I worried I’d be all alone in soon.

And my nightmare became true.

My man, my lover left me in aggressive rude awful manner. And now he tries to seem happy with his <dead love> how he said. His past love adopted him as an abandoned puppy in rainy weather.

He said that life next to me brings only disappointing moments and the only memorable thing left after our love is that he’ll never forget that I’m fat and unable to have a child and i'm only focusing on different problems.

He was right. I could not respond.

However I ain’t gonna fall into deep sadness. It’s my life or better to say my existence. I want to develop my personality. I intend to become a mom sooner or later.

Thank you my readers and my supportive friends

My warm regards

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Pere profile image
Pere
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31 Replies
Pere profile image
Pere

In fact it’s not me on photo. I didn’t dare to make my own shot for this drama.

p.s. I’m looking at this woman and she really looks better than author of this post. I hope she feels fine. And I’m sorry I had used her photo for my goals. But what are my goals…

bfrida profile image
bfrida

nice post dear,

i feel for you, you should know you’re not alone here, lots of nice ladies will support you.

you deserve to be happy, you deserve to live a normal life and be a mom. and your husband will regret about his decision when he'll see you changing.

well, may I ask some question? you want to develop your personality, will you start with the weight? did you consult any doc? what kind of suggesting he gave you?

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

Oh, thank you. It’s a truth we may talk here and be open and free for sharing but our actual life and our particular part of being wants to go outside. It’s passing by us. I’m afraid to dissolve myself on the numerous forums. But I’m grateful. I appreciate your presence. You all are the best persons.

He’s not my husband. I’d not like to think wrong about his decision. no rights to judge him. It’s a normal way. People meet each other. People leave. He’s young handsome and deserves to have more active lifestyle than I could offer. forget it. This was an empty contribution. we weren’t made for loving each other. But how it hurts me. uuuppphhhh excuse me. give me one second I’ll answer on your specific question

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

I have too many medical records and of course I don’t remember all my appointments and prescriptions. Faces of all my physicians spin in my poor memory like a huge snowball. I’ve not ever been healthy. I mean I was ill and felt not good ever since I recognize myself .

But you see I’m still alive!! Hah or take a look at the topic's title.

My weight doesn’t depend on my daily feeding. I don’t eat a lot. The cause is my hormones and ill endocrine and lymphocyte system.

Do you think I should start my changes from the weight? There are many big people around the globe who are really happy. I guess my attitude to everything has to be repaired first of all.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toPere

Dear, I didn't want to offend you I just wanted to say if you lose some weight you could get pregnant? is that what you want? do you want a baby, answer this little question please?

you are right, all people deserve to be happy, but first of all, you have to define what is the most important for you!

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

don’t hasten answering this question. It’s a big danger to be pregnant in my case due to all these diseases. I very often feel bad because of hypertonic falls and sometimes i have a heart ache it was so even since my childhood. What can I say? Perhaps if I grow thin the majority of my health problems will disappear but who may give a guarantee. I agree to take part in surrogacy I thought a lot about this method and I accepted. it will take a while but i'm ready to wait while i'll be recovering.

Ukrainian destination looks very attractive considering my budget and last events. but unfortunately as far i'm informed ukraine cares only for married couples.

Let’s see what will be.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toPere

I see, first of all you have to undergo a set of medical tests in order to confirm our health condition. To my mind, a doc will tell if you have a chance to carry a baby by yourself. In addition, you have to resolve a weight issues as it plays an important role.

actually you can't be a part of a surrogacy program, according to ukrainian legislation you have to be married and have all prescriptions for the surrogacy.

but still you have options, you can adopt a child, as far as I know you are not obliged to be married, you just need to prove you have enough sources to take care after this baby.

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

Of course, I’ll begin doing all these from Monday. I evolve a new program of morning exercises and health diet. I know it could be better to start doing all ten years ago.

I’m setting an aim to change everything around my life.

And I gonna stop weeping on my problems.

You probably noticed that our lives go round in circle. We frequently live through the episodes from our forgotten past. So I’m afraid to get back and find myself in the same empty place where I were before I started.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toPere

good, now I see you want to change something. Good luck dear, if you have any questions concerning reproductive treatment I'm open to them

xxx

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

The surrogacy is a controversial and foggy question to me. I didn’t think a lot about this method in general, and Ukraine is a secret for me at all. Yeah, I heard something of it but I’m too far from real info.

And if an actual desire of ordering surrogacy surfaces I’ll be applying to the countries which can provide it despite my marital status.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toPere

oh, sorry about that, I didn't mean to confuse you with the answer. I told about ukraine cause I'm with one ukrainian clinic.

well, probably I can't give you a proper advice, because your case is difficult.

oh, what about altruistic surrogacy? do you have any friends or relatives who would carry a baby for you?

Adriana9 profile image
Adriana9 in reply tobfrida

Totally agree with you bfrida.I am also using services of a Ukrainian clinic. very satisfied indeed.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toAdriana9

what clinic? because we are with boitex, in kiev, I'm not sure if you are with them.

have you applied for an egg donation there? what services your clinic offers?

Adriana9 profile image
Adriana9 in reply tobfrida

Hi bfrida!

Exactly the same clinic- BioTexCom.

It is the best really.

I highly recommend them.

They have a modern tech. , the best doctors ever.

You won't have a problem regarding the language. Because they are multilingual.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toAdriana9

Hello! I'm glad you satisfied with that clinic? How you got to know about them? How was your initial? What kind of treatment you undergoing? Is it an egg donation or surrogacy? Have you already had an embryo transfer?

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

No, I don’t think so.

Firstly I don’t find my case is difficult in that comparison it’s just a different one.

I believe the strong women dealt with and solved more serious problems. I know that one day everything will change. I’ll breathe freely and now I’m ready for trying hard to change something with my reality.

No, there’s no one who could be so kind to give a birth to my baby.

I’m still hoping

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toPere

Just hoping? I don't want to offend you but you will have nothing if you just sit and hope. Believe me, each woman is a warrior, one faces lots of challenges every day, we have to be strong to deal with it. We have to fight with our brokenness.

WE have to lots of things. ..

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

You are totally right I’m agreed.

But I still don’t have anything to say about great changes in my poor life.

Time is passing. My life is like a flow and it makes me be afraid.

Sorry, but I hope. I’ll change and I’ll not be the prisoner of these circumstances again.

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tobfrida

I should find something that inspires me and forces me to make a breakthrough. In order to overcome this hard period I have to be inspired. But for now I don’t feel an impulse when I’m reading someone’s stories. I lost that feeling. I lost a lot

And I’m so sorry for that and I do not know how to return

marzila66 profile image
marzila66

Just forget about him, you deserve a better one.

Handle a problems one by one and all will be fine.

I hope you`ll find a nice man, or even women, and let it be the first step to your happiness. :)

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tomarzila66

Great thank to you dear. You wrote it so easy for understanding and I agree with you. such things can make our lives more cheerful but my changes must start definitely from myself. How many relationships will be broken up until I change myself? That’s why I want to absorb your wisdom and energy to improve my life's vision. i guess my health would be in better state if i possessed kinder thoughts

How are you?

marzila66 profile image
marzila66 in reply toPere

I hope all our problems will pass with time.

As for now i`m awaiting for results of husband`s therapy. Unless anything comes up we`ll start searching for surrogacy.

Pere profile image
Pere in reply tomarzila66

Good afternoon. Do you know, if only I was advised to wait for good times when I was 20 years old and everything was similarly bad probably I’d give up on further advices. It’s hard when you live like a fly in hot glue creeping and crawling. That craves to take a breath but there’s nothing but disappointment she takes.

I can’t display real changes I had during last 10 years. a lot of people can reverse their severe subsistence and it takes only a year or less. But I myself am still the same fly in hot blurred glue.

In which disposition do you mention your possible surrogacy? I guess a woman has to be highly ready for such experience. I have read your previous posts. How is your health’s state?

Adriana9 profile image
Adriana9 in reply tomarzila66

Of course, they will pass. This is the life.

bfrida profile image
bfrida in reply toAdriana9

hello ladies, how are you? what news do you have? i'm so happy to be a member of this community again. i took some time for a rest.

Pere have you decided something? will you work out in order to get pregnant?

p.s. sorry for asking but do you have a job or you just sit at home? as far as i remember you don't have a bf, right or something has been changed?

Blooo33 profile image
Blooo33

Hi, your stories are so different in emotional content. The first one had an inspiring base and a hope the second one has also a hope but with bitter flavor.

I badly hope on one day your everything will be OK.

I saw your message about surrogacy. My story is also concerned to surrogacy program and we passed through it in Ukraine

You may ask me if you’re interested. I believe all your affairs gonna be OK.

Adriana9 profile image
Adriana9

Hey!

I know a very famous singer, which was very fat. Now you must see her, she is perfect. She is a Romanian singer. Her name is Feli. She has lost almost 40 kg in 6 months. And she participates at "The Voice". When she participated she was with weight. And ppl voted her. This means that ur overweight is not a reason not to be loved or appreciated. The problem was in your ex-bf. He doesn't deserve you.Maybe God saved you from suffering from this man. You are not alone. If you need help our just to talk, our community helps you definitely.

Best regards, and looking forward to hearing from you.

Irina15 profile image
Irina15

Been following this thread for a while Pere ! Alhough I'm new posting.

I'm a little concern because you haven't written more ever since a while :/

How have you been up to? Have you follow your diet? And what about you health issues?

My best regards. Wishing the best for you!

Pere profile image
Pere in reply toIrina15

Hi! You are so kind to me. and your attention is so important. Yes, I always keep to a diet and am trying to control myself. Now I see we can’t buy our good health with help of money. The health is a special value we have to keep throughout all our life. And I wasn’t a strong and healthy one even when I was a child.

Unfortunately, I can’t say anything positive about my affairs. Nothing has changed since I was on this web-site last time. I didn’t visit the forum because I had no occasion and desire to speak at all.

thank you a lot Dear! thank you! Tell us about you. why are you here Dear?

Irina15 profile image
Irina15 in reply toPere

I'm really happy to hear that!

You're absolutely right in what you mention about your health, I imagine as hard as it sounds to be. A friend of mine suffers from the thyroid and regularly has health issues because of her weight. But keep it up, do not be discouraged!

Furthermore don't languish in your ambitions to create your family! Everything will bear its recompenses :)

My dear, I've been for a while on this page haha. At first I came because I had been diagnosed with Endiometriosis and wanted a place to be able to consult and learn from other people with fertility problems what options I could take.

Later I was able to conceive naturally, but knowing the hardness of the battle I visit here usualy to listen and help people in the forums :)

Pere profile image
Pere

Thank you! you all are like a wind of hope for me. I even do not know what it could be with me if I lived having no support from you.

I’m trying really hard to be strong person. I wanna become a mom one day.

And I’ll be doing everything to fulfil my plan, my desire, my dream.

i wish you the same. be happy and thank you once again

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