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[Wurlydog]

Hi, my name is wurlydog, I'm home now on bed rest at my mums house having spent 12 days in icu (aren't those guys amazing). 5 of the 12 days was on full life support which they expected me to be on for at least 10-12 days, following a full respiratory collapse. I over dosed on prescription medication AGAIN, but this was the worst its ever been. I've battled addiction for over 30 years and this has left me empty. I don't know what to do, I'm just staring at walls wondering why. I feel empty, void of anything, no energy, no will, no anything. Is this normal? I constantly think about the horror of it all and sometimes I'm in complete denial it was me. Maybe it something I watched on TV?? Anyway guys This was just my hello, don't know how often I will use this service but best of luck to everyone x

[Sepsur]

I’m not sure what essential ingredient is required to want to get back to ‘life’.

I felt it to my innermost core that this, now, wasn’t a dress rehearsal - no-one ( cavalry included) was coming to save me - it could only be by my own determination, others could encourage me but they couldn’t do the work necessary to have a quality of life.

Have you sought any professional help for depression/ anxiety or sense of hopelessness?

I know the key to most people’s troubles is to eliminate chemical dependency to be able to then dealt with the real underlying issues - and we all have issues.

No family can hang out a flag that says ‘All is well here’.

Good luck and I hope you get your mojo back

[beardy_chris]

Well Done! You have recognised you need help and that is an important step.

"What is the most difficult thing you've ever said?" asked Piglet. "Help!" said Pooh.

Seek help from wherever you can find it. Try Samaritans (samaritans.org), Mind (mind.org.uk), NHS 111 (nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-..., Andy's Man club - depending on your gender, of course! (andysmanclub.co.uk), etc.

Find out what suits you - but keep on asking and trying and seeking.

Good Luck.

[Raising8]

Glad you're home now. The icu experience is something that can never be fully explained to others, there's denial, depression and a whole host if other emotions and physical problems you can be left with. There's no set time to get over it. In a couple months try and get in contact with the icu psychologist to try and work through it a bit more x

[Wurlydog in reply to Raising8]

Hi raising8, I've had the icu rehabilitation nurse on and she's saying I'll be seen in March. That's fine, I'm working on my addiction problems now and have the mental health team assessing my situation. But you're right, nobody understands and people think I should be fine now, truth is its getting harder if anything.