10 Years On

[stevet11753]

On this date, 7th April 2015, I was admitted for emergency surgery due to a ruptured colon. I had sepsis, renal failure, multiple organ failure, and my wife was told that my chance of survival was slim, about 1%(!), and that the family should be called in to say their goodbyes. After twelve hours of surgery I was placed in an induced coma and admitted to the ITU. Despite the grim prognosis I started to recover. Ten days later I slowly emerged from coma and after four days of intense delirium both my eyes were open. I was extubated and given a trachy, which then took twelve days of weening off the ventilator.A large part of my colon had been removed and I was given an ileostomy, which I lived with for five years. I dehisced twice after surgery (I was still in the coma when this was happening) leaving me with a massive abdominal hernia, which was repaired at the same time the ileostomy was reversed.

When released from ICU after 38 days I spent three weeks in a rehab ward where I had to learn to walk again. When released from hospital I had to learn to come to terms with what had happened to me. I paid two emotional visits to the ICU where I could thank the nurses and see the then empty space on the ward, where I had fought for my life.

I also had to come terms with the psychological trauma. I decided to write down what had happened to me, about the delirium dreams and hallucinations. I wrote it as a story, with an ending that resolved all the painful and beautiful episodes of the dreams.

When I look back to the early post-trauma years, I know that I was not myself. My behaviour was often manic, doing things I wouldn't normally do. I must have been suffering some form of PICS. This has resolved and I'm now my 'normal' self.

The physical and physiological legacy is mostly an exacerbation of already existing conditions: poor balance and mobility, neuropathy in the hands and feet.

I also have unrelated health conditions, prostate cancer, issues with my kidneys. But this is all part of the ageing process, the important thing is: I Survived!

[BlueTheCat]

10 years on. It seems a long time ago but I suppose you never forget. Well done on getting thus far.

I'm currently going through my three year anniversary. When I look back on my hospital notes, this day 3 years ago, I was being "specialled", had a vascath removed and there is a comment that I was inappropriately trying to get out of bed (I suspect I was trying to escape my hostage takers 😁).

[stevet11753 in reply to BlueTheCat]

Inappropriately trying to escape, lol! I remember my hands being heavily bandaged. I'm sure this was medical, but probably also to prevent me pulling on all the wires and tubes!Yes, it's such a life changing event that you'll never forget it. I can still clearly recall many of those dreams, whether they occurred during coma or the delirium period of waking.

I don't have hospital notes, apart from some information in my discharge papers, but I was given a daily diary kept by the ITU nurses. I still have it and look at it occasionally. It's helpful in letting me know what was going on during that time.

Here's to your three-year anniversary, and many more! 🍸

[BlueTheCat in reply to stevet11753]

Thankyou 🍾

If you were bit of a line puller (like me) rather than bandages you may have been wearing "posey mitts/icu boxing gloves"... a necessary evil.

viamed.online/collections/p...

My hospital didn't do ICU diaries, so I ended up making a subject access request for my notes, and tried to piece together memories/delirium/events/treatment from there.

[Sepsur]

2 days ago was my 9th, it doesnt seem so long but then again Covid and lockdowns screwed everyone’s sense of time. I similarly did 2yrs of treatment for leukaemia which destroyed my sense of time more - yes I’m here - alive & kicking!!!

I enjoy most of most days despite the BS that we are all trying to live through at present.

ICU reinforces a concept that we really do only have today…I just forget it sometimes

[stevet11753 in reply to Sepsur]

Yep, time has flown by and we've been living through strange times. I got my stoma reversal and hernia repair just in time, just before lockdown. I came out of hospital to empty streets and deserted roads!The lovely weather we're having makes me think back to a sunny April and May ten years ago. Bright sunshine through the window next to my bed fed into my coma and delirium dreams.

Good to hear you're enjoying the days and that you're keeping well. Here's to today and the next ten years!

[Sleepalotmore]

Well done! What a massive fight you must've put up.I've just passed my 5year anniversary of being in icu on ECMO and trachiotomy due to acute respiratory failure.

Seems so much longer but at the same time feels more recent! Some memories are still very clear.

I was released from hospital several weeks early due to covid taking a hold. Home on 18th March 2020 then lockdown was 23rd March! Held back all the physio and other recovery, but I pushed myself through it.

What stories we all have of our similar experiences!

[stevet11753 in reply to Sleepalotmore]

So true, everyone here has their incredible story to tell. Well done for surviving ECMO and getting through all that delayed recovery. And now a happy anniversary!