Sister Intubated, Induced Coma

[Tuffymason]

I don’t know where to turn. Sometimes memories are not your friend.

Everything cascaded down so fast.

I went to check on her at home as she wasn’t feeling well. Immediately as I saw her the room got very close, the air was sucked out of the room. I called the ambulance. Within an hour she was in ICU. Turn around she is intubated and in an induced coma. Her lungs were under attack completely involved. Turn around she is on a life flight to a regional centre. There we were told her situation was grave. They didn’t know what it was. She was to unstable for tests.

This went on from Monday to Wednesday. There she stayed until Saturday.

Saturday she was taken off the respirator and breathing well on her own, but her lungs still fully involved. A biopsy culture so far has showed nothing. She remains stable, but detached.

I am grateful but can’t stop shaking. I can’t seem to leave the past behind. If I can’t leave the past behind I can’t be positive and move forward. It is very hard to see her even now. She looks so helpless, her demeanour hopeless and forlorn. My heart breaks.

Is the way I am feeling normal? How do I move forward while she is still so sick and the real fear of her leaving us remains. How do I take care of me so I can gather the strength to return to help her.

TuffyMason

[Angelle]

I was in your position about 5 years ago. I flew 5 hours and sang her the sailor moon song ( our favourite show growing up). I asked her to follow my voice and come back to me. To fight and open her eyes. She came out of her coma. Your sister can hear you. Do not be discouraged by what anyone says and fight for her. My sister has brain damage and it is a non stop fight but I know she is here with me and just fight for her everyday I open my eyes. I am praying for her and for you.

[Tuffymason in reply to Angelle]

Thank you. We are thrilled to know that she has been released from ICU and doing very well. She remains weak and in hospital but soon to be transferred back to her own town. We also spoke with her all the way. Letting her know “we’ve got you”, and “you’ve got this”. I wish all the best for your sister, and aren’t we both so lucky for our sisters. Tuffy

[Copse77]

I saw my brother like this too. It is a traumatic and deeply distressing time for a family and your sister especially. As Angelle says keep talking to your sister. She can hear you even if she is not able to respond. We wrote our family story to help other families to give hope. I will post a link.

[Copse77 in reply to Copse77]

ecmofamilysupport.com/ecmo-...

[Tuffymason in reply to Copse77]

Thank you. Life is what happens when we make other plans certainly fits here. I am so sorry for what your brother and you and your family went through. We are both very lucky, my sister was released yesterday to a regular room at the hospital after one week of ICU and life support. In the beginning we were told it could be weeks. That is such a hard part of this, the unknown, the waiting. I am thrilled for your brother and you all and wish you all the best life has to offer. Tuffy

[TaIaV]

Tuffymason, your reaction is one of many that would be normal under such frightening circumstances. Right now I can imagine that you are reeling from the rapid series of ever-more-serious events. Your world has been shaken and turned upside down. On top of that there is the discomfort of the continued uncertainty about just what is behind all of the symptoms.

So, first of all, give yourself credit for being there. For not shrinking away from your sister in this time of such great distress for her.

Second, don't expect to be positive. That is too big a leap. Take small steps away from the fears that have you shaking and emotionally stuck. You might:

Direct your attention to her perspective: - Focus on thinking about what she would want you to do.

- Focus on what it means to be a really great sister to her in this circumstance.

- Acknowledge and fully value the things that you are doing for her. Being there. talking to doctors. Maybe communicating with people she would want kept in the loop regarding her condition. Perhaps bringing in music she likes, etc

Work on defanging the fear.

- Close your eyes and allow yourself to notice that fear and discomfort. I say notice because you can start separating yourself from "feeling" the very negative emotions; notice them but keep breathing and start separating from the debilitating emotions.

- "Fear, and". You do not ned to get rid of one set of feelings in order to step onto the very vabluable next stage.

Wishing you and your sister the best.

[Tuffymason in reply to TaIaV]

Thank you. It was such a negative cascade. Understanding could just not keep up. Thank God for those wonderful doctors and nursing staff who could. I am floating on air this morning, as my sister seemingly as quick was released from the ICU and her supports to a regular hospital room yesterday. She is now awaiting a room at her own hospital in her own town where she will continue to get well and work through more testing. Tuffy

[TaIaV in reply to Tuffymason]

wonderful to hear!

[Sepsur]

we run a weekly relatives support group - message if you’d like further info