Rollercoaster day: My partner has made very small... - ICUsteps

ICUsteps

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Rollercoaster day

Heartbr0ken profile image
12 Replies

My partner has made very small improvements since being admitted to ICU on Wednesday. His oxygen is now at 55%, infection is clearing up and remains comfortable and stable. I went to see him this afternoon and the nurse said its a slow process of improvement and it’s up to him and the Gods if he makes it. I’ve tried to remain positive but it’s draining me and it’s only day 3. The doctor has told his parents that he has more chance of dying in the unit than surviving. I completely lost it and have cried ever since. Never did I think that I would ever be in this position where I could lose my soulmate. I just feel so lost. His parents have each other, his brothers are all married and have their spouses but my Rock is the one in the bed. I have my mum and friends But it’s not the same. I just feel despair and not hopeful 😢😢😢😢

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Heartbr0ken profile image
Heartbr0ken
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12 Replies
FamilyHistorian profile image
FamilyHistorian

How supportive NOT was that doctor! It takes time don’t forget what I said before look after yourself

MarthaKos profile image
MarthaKos

I know exactly what you’re going through honey, just have faith in your partner that he will pull through. The doctors were telling me the same thing repeatedly for nearly 2 months, at times they wanted to turn everything off and let him go, but I didn’t let them. I hope everything goes well, try and stay strong ❤️

DrARDS profile image
DrARDS

Please don’t lose faith! Icu is a bumpy ride, but you’ll find lots of positive outcomes on here.

Keep a positive mind (easier said than done I know) and this will channel into the team looking after him too.

Sepsur profile image
Sepsur

There are many on this site that have experienced what you are going through & will know your pain only too well.

The doctors often, in my experience, think out loud which is not always in a very empathetic fashion. They are also, duty bound not to mislead you. People who enter ICU ( up until Covid which may have skewed the figures) on average stay 3.5 days and about 3/4 of patients survive.

It is a good sign that your partner is improving - baby steps are a good thing - a thing to be hopeful about and that can be a rare commodity at times.

My wife was told on many occasions over a 57 day coma that there was little to no chance I would survive. I left ICU after 90 days. 3.5 years later, I eventually started treatment for a type of leukaemia & lymphoma that they had diagnosed in ICU, but I wouldn’t have been able to survive treatment at the time. Along the way, I’ve had periods in hospital through infection, concussion through fitting from meds, a pleural effusion, numerous chest, neck & bone marrow biopsies & lumbar punctures - only to be told my leukaemia had transformed into something more aggressive that would kill me within 6 months, only for it to disappear of its own accord( 10 days later) that was 2 months ago. Yesterday I was told I was in remission!!!

What I’m trying to illustrate is that it is impossible to predict how life will pan out. Please remain hopeful with your feet firmly planted on the ground.

Wheeloffate profile image
Wheeloffate in reply toSepsur

The hospital my dad is in ICU stays averages 7.5 days. We're well beyond that

Copse77 profile image
Copse77

You are in the most difficult situation but need to stay strong for your partner. Remain hopeful is the best advice one kind empathetic consultant gave to us when other Drs wrote my brother off and said he would be brain damaged with no hope of recovery. He is now fit healthy father of two children. It is a horrible rollercoaster of ups and downs. Those small signs of improvement are really important. I was advised to keep a timeline and I did this. It really helps to focus on those small improvements when you have bad days. We have been through the ICU rollercoaster. Wishing you all the best and your partner a strong recovery.

Woo2 profile image
Woo2

Please hang on in there!

Positive thinking for all involved is the key to success.

My thoughts are with you.

Wheeloffate profile image
Wheeloffate

Hi HeartBr0ken, have you been able to visit your loved one? Are you keeping a daily journal?

We've been hand writing ever detail, taping receipts we've spent on gas to go to the hospital to his book. Recording every phone call with the hospital staff. Even the smallest update and changes.

Glad your loved one is improving. I hope he comes home soon.

Heartbr0ken profile image
Heartbr0ken

I visit every day and chat and tell him how much I love him and he has to keep going. I write a what’s app message And send to him everyday stating his progress and what has happened for when he can read it. I’m not a patient person and want him home. This time last week He was talking, laughing etc

Ferham profile image
Ferham

I'm sorry you are in this situation, most people on this group know only too well the pain you are going through . Each day is a bumpy roller coaster , hang on tight and have lots of positive thoughts. We have all been told negative updates and you cannot help but fear the worse .

I too sent my husband a message everyday, when he was well enough to read them all, he was dreadfully upset, but will keep them forever.

Hoping tomorrow brings you positive news x

geewisdom profile image
geewisdom

Find a quiet place my dear...dear...friend and kneel in prayer. This is your time to humble yourself before God and PRAY. God will hear your prayer as you humble yourself before him. he knows all, sees all and will meet you in your darkest hour.

Stay FAITHFUL

Faithful2020 profile image
Faithful2020

Hello

I truly understand your pain. If you believe that we have a God, pray with all your heart and soul. It’s so easy to lose hope and so hard to pray for it when doctors give these kind of news. However, think about the fact that they’re also humans and they can make mistakes. I understand that what they predict is based on results, patients vital signs, complications etc, but many patients have proven them wrong. Many people have gone home after their families being told they wouldn’t make it. My best advice is to not lose your faith until God decides to stop his heart. When you believe, there’s hope. Where there’s life there is also hope even if it’s minimal.

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