How to remain positive?

[Sidra89]

how do you remain positive with the rollercoaster of emotions? We hear negative as well as positive things regarding mom and her treatment plan and progress in the ICU. Last night she was reacting and responding, today she can hardly keep her eyes open. Her ventilator settings are going up and down, she looks weak. We can’t be with her. Her inr levels show her blood is too thin, they have her on a plasma transfusion. I don’t know how to process any of it. My mind feels numb (literally). I just want my mom

[AKAICUsurvivor]

I know my wife will respond to this better but from what she has told me that moment of joy because the person is improving is snatched away by the consultants next sentence. Everyone became obsessed with my numbers - even me !!! When I woke up and could see the monitor ( albeit in reflection of glass door) - Id see the numbers change & panic - the truth is I didnt know what I was looking at, nor did anyone else really know what was the boundaries of normal within an ICU setting - sometimes ignorance is bliss - but not in this situation. Everyone had to remain realistically positive & that included me. My wife mentally planned for every eventuality - (that is her nature) I'm a cynical optimist by nature - I was certain I would be alright even though the wheels and engine had fallen off the bus.

[Sidra89 in reply to AKAICUsurvivor]

Thank you for this! We see my mom on facetime almost every day, she looks miserable. Today we asked ourselves are we prolonging her suffering? She beat the gram negative infection, but now dealing with her liver failing which will cause her kidneys to fail. One of the tumors in her liver has grown to take up the entire right lobe, which is causing the problems. Her bp randomly drops, and doc said he might need to give cpr which might break her ribs.. my mind just feels numb

[AKAICUsurvivor]

You may also find this link useful - its a really helpful self help guide - they do some brilliant pdfs - problems sleeping, PTSD etc etc

moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/pdfGu...