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Last October, I collapsed and was admitted to Wyong Hospital, then transferred to Gosford Hospital where I was put in an induced coma on life support for 3 weeks, the diagnosis was severe pneumonia in both lungs, my skin had turned purple. Then they discovered a `blood fungus. So I had to stay an additional 3 weeks with an IVU being administered super duper antibiotics whilst I underwent tests like heart echos, ultrasounds to determine where it was originating. I have no memory of the 3 weeks preceding my admission, most of my admission and the 4 weeks upon being discharged. I can not remember a thing. It's all wiped. Now I have severe panic attacks if I have to visit the GP. What happened to me?

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Hi Allyy

Unfortunately no one can be prepared for the trauma an ICU admission leaves in it's wake, I was in ICU six & half years ago being admitted by ambulance so critically ill it was thought I wouldn't survive, I still have the first 53 days completely missing, they were full of the most terrifying nightmares & hallucination, thankfully my wife & daughter kept a diary of that missing time, when I finally read their account of what really happened during that time, I'm glad I have no memory of it as they must have gone through a nightmare of their own, being told on several occasions to say their last goodbyes.

Thankfully thanks to some amazing doctors & nurses that never gave up on me, I left ICU after 3 months followed by 2 weeks on a respiratory ward when I was finally discharged, the joy of being home soon turned into a nightmare as I slid into a deep depression wishing I had never survived as my world had been turned on it's head, with my family taking most of the flak, thankfully they never gave up supporting me with my niece who was an ICU nurse getting me an early appointment to see the ICU consultant who arranged for me to see a psychologist which helped slightly, for me it was becoming involved in setting up a local support group helping others through the recovery process that really helped, meeting others that needed the support and understanding of someone who had been there and had the tee shirt.

Time is the greatest healer and things do get better with time, the bad memories fade but will never be forgotten and the greatest thing for me is being here to see my grandson start school in September and the imminent arrival of identical twins for my daughter in October, something at times I thought I would never be here to see.

I hope you manage to get the psychological support that you probably need and that you can slowly move forward and look forward to the future.



thank you so much Bill, I'm so glad you're better and you have a fabulous support team looking after's such a strange experience as I was fine on the day, I remember exercising, then I was bringing the clothes out of the dryer by just throwing them on the floor and I remember looking down at my little dog who had decided to sleep on them and I thought, awww how cute. That's it. The next couple of months are very hazy and I suffer from depression which of course worsened as I just wanted to go home but after diagnosing me with double pneumonia they said I had a blood fungus, so another month in there. What I find very odd is I have no memory of the 3 weeks preceding my collapsing, I have found things I bought, I have no memory, I've returned to shops and the assistants have asked me really strange questions, apparently I was in these shops, had collapsed and told them I had been to the dentist. I have no memory of this. It's been on my mind as it's coming up to the time I collapsed last year and I've had this strange case of Deja Vu....I have dropped a lot of weight as I did last year and am now underweight, I have eating disorders and I've picked at my skin again (OCD) like last year and I have this terrible cough, keeping me awake at night, again, just like last year. Very strange.

warm regards



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