Wondering when will things get better?

Having a really, really rough time of it lately.

I've just completed a three year degree, it was a real struggle for me as it was a very complicated subject and I was a good twenty years older than anyone else in the class. That said I managed to keep up and I came out with a good grade of a 2:1. then maybe two months after finishing it myself and friend who was also on the course realised that the skills we'd been taught were about 5 years out of date, so basically the degree is worthless.

Since last Christmas my memory has become completely unreliable, also my concentration. I've also noticed that I was getting tired all the time and occasionally I've started to get pins and needles in my lips. I'm also still having dizzy spells and periods of not being able to focus. The other major concern (for me anyway) is the horrible pains I've started getting up and down my back(I get them either side of my lower back, around my shoulder blades and higher up), they come on gradually and have litteraly either reduced me to tears or brought me to the point of vomiting (though thankfully I've never actually done so), they last until I can get myself in just the right position and then they litteraly just switch off.

I've been seen by a neurologist recently and since then I've had a blood test which revealed my B12 levels were very low (now on supplements), I've had a scan on the veins in my neck which came up clean and on Monday I'm going for an MRI (last one was 7 years ago). I'm due to see m y Rheumatologist again in a couple of weeks but after seeing them last time I've no faith in them anyway.

I'm not currently working, I'm not even sure if I got a job that I could hold it down due to al my current health problems and because I can't concentrate I can't study to fill the missing gaps in my degree. I was supposed to go for a disability assessment with ATOS however they gave me 2 days notice and expected me to travel to the far side of Lancashire, when I rang and explained that I couldnt afford to get there at such short notice they siad they would cancel the assessment and would pass it back to my doctor, I'd already had to wait two months for this one to come through.

Oh and to top things off I found out in October that my wifes been having an affair. I'm at my whits end and tbh if I didn't have my daughter I'd just have ended it all by now.

I'm sorry for going on but I know that this is one of the only places that will understand most of what I'm going through.

3 Replies

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  • Well done on your studying and the result. I was going to suggest B12 was tested, this is vital, if you are being given injections to top it up, you will feel better, but do please get them to look at your levels of Iron and also Vitamin D as this will make you feel very bad if low. The other thing to look at is your Thyroid, this is frequently missed as the TSH is so bad. Thyroid UK have very good advice on their charity website, and list the tests needed, which often are not done by the NHS. I did all mine privately and it all showed up. I hope you feel better soon. Get your neurologist to look at testing you even if just to rule it out.

    I am sorry to hear about the ATOS situation, they should give you more written notice than that. I am also sorry to hear that things are tough. This is the time to call in close friends and relatives who you trust, to go to appointments with you and also support you at a difficult time, things will get better I am sure. At times having a patient advocate to help you fight your corner is very useful. I have done this in person for other people when they have hit a brick wall and or very ill phase and it has yielded results. Also do not rule out the idea of some counselling, the GP would set it up for you, so you can make sense of what is happening, if you think it would help. Best wishes to you. MaryF

  • I think you are to be congratulated on getting a degree in three years, I am sure that whilst some of the subject matter may be out of date, that you will have picked up no end of skills that can be applied elsewhere.

    In respect of ATOS, hasn't that diabolical firm been replaced by another company? I was reading a newsletter from Benefits and Work about some of the problems people are still encountering- but I recommend you have a look at Benefits and Work if you need any advice on that front.

    I suspect a few of us have had dark moments for one reason or another, I know I have, and I'm very glad that I got through them as things did get better and back to near normal

    Best wishes

  • Sadly no, ATOS is still actively ruining peoples lives. At the moment I would give absolutely ANYTHING to find out what the hell these weird pains in my back are. I'm due to go see my Rheumatologist again in a few weeks so I'm going to ask them for help. Think the last time I saw them and I mentioned my back pains they said it could be back spasms, what they didnt say was what's causing them. I can kinda work around the rest of the problems (well sort or) but I cant work around the back pain. Has anyone had anything similar to it?..

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