What really matters to you?: Big life-changing... - Headway

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What really matters to you?

headwayuk profile image
headwayukPartnerHeadway
6 Replies

Big life-changing events like brain injury and the journey of adjustment that follows can be a time to reflect on the things that really count. It might involve family and friends, a rewarding career or hobby, or new priorities to manage the effects of brain injury - everyone has their own personal take on life.

Whether you're a brain injury survivor or a family member, we'd love to find out what really matters to you, why that is and if brain injury has changed your outlook.

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headwayuk
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6 Replies
Pedal2 profile image
Pedal2

After my brain injury I had aphasia and was temporarily illiterate and still make errors regarding word choice both writing and speaking these days 25 years later. It took many years away from me and everything I had, my whole identity which understandably pissed me off a little. After losing my job and being unemployed for a few months I decided to go to university and get an English degree. The reason for this is that it was what I wanted to do when I finished school. I nearly quit university 2 or 3 times but ended up with a strong 2:1 at the end of my studies. The next thing on my list is to write a novel and get it published for the same reason as the first, it's something I have always wanted to do and probably would never had done if the accident hadn't happened. To me, it, it meaning the brain injury, has taken a massive chunk out of my life that I will never get back. So if you can please excuse my language I have regularly thought oh fuck it, I'm doing this or that now, not because it's vitally important to my recovery but because I have always wanted to do it. And if I fail, I fail, but at least I will have tried. That's what has changed the most in me, the what have I got to lose kind of attitude. The Carpe Diem - seize the day kind of mantra. As if I am speaking to the accident which caused all this and saying - I'm not going down again, not without at least having a go at it. I advise everyone else to do the same. Fuck it. Fuck the brain injury. Yeah, you messed my life up for a while but I'm not about to give up on everything just because of you.

paxo05 profile image
paxo05

My bi had a total impact on my life. From relearning walking and talking to the realisation of paid work being out of he question.

But I feel the big change was the shift in my outlook of important things. Family became my priority in life well the ones that stayed around.

I am always thankful to still be here even on my darkest days, and these are plenty. My family IS my world. Without them and their support I would not be here.

Pax

skydivesurvivor profile image
skydivesurvivor

hi need somewhere accessible close to socialise?!! Nice to spend time here, unknown texts that support, relate as we journey along the road of acceptance/adaption?

PurpleOverlord profile image
PurpleOverlord

All those things you list, my brain injury has taken from me. So the last 2 years of my life have been pretty darned pointless. Getting out in nature helps me get through each day, but I'm only here so my family doesn't have to deal with anything else.

It sounds like some folks have found new meaning in their new lives. I really hope I do too.

Lulu_Lollipop profile image
Lulu_Lollipop

My brain injury came from the big surgery to clip a huge brain aneurysm. I am hugely grateful for the surgery and grateful that I recovered quite well. Left with cognitive function issues and huge fatigue and so on. Added to by a stroke a year and a bit later. I've managed as best I can, but the worse bit for me was this all coincided with husband of 30 years b*ggering off with a woman he'd been living a secret double life with. He left sons and me just when we really needed him around. Sons and I hadn't ever been dependent on him in such away, we were self-reliant as he worked away from home and wasn't around much. We did love him. It was the shock and hurt from him leaving that made my recovery even harder, but I tried, tried, tried to keep going and get back to "normal" while going through a very nasty divorce.

Money worries as I was off work for 2 years. And the sadness of losing my Darling Dad. Went back out of desperation for a solid base and money, then had the stroke during a particularly stressful week at work and a really horrible week of the divorce when he insisted I attend a court hearing in his new town, 4 hours drive from here. It was hellish. The stroke slowed me down even more and I was dismissed from work, a job I'd done for 34 years. Another divorce really, but not quite as hurtful as I could understand I wasn't the person I used to be.

A few years on from all this I am lucky to have stability again. A lovely fiancé, loved by sons and family as well as me. I can't work, I accept that. I don't look very far ahead I make the most of each day. I focus on the good things in life and I'm lucky to take pleasure from the most simple things. Glad to still be here (touch wood, fingers crossed :) ) xx

Nemo24 profile image
Nemo24

Big changes for me. I live more in moment and enjoy things at the time. Still have to be conscious of pacing myself and always plan for weekends a few days before. What matters are family and friends who have stuck by me and help me get out. The support I've had from Headway really mattered. From all information online and in their booklets as well as being able to meet with my local group.

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