Adapting to new way of things

[Owlgirl]

Hi I'm new to this but just generally trying to adapt to life after my husband suffered a brain injury four months ago. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions but just wanted to join an online community where others can offer advice and share experiences. My husband's brain injury has effected His memory so it's tough going, and at times he thinks he does not have a brain injury, but knows he is not the same. I have felt very isolated as friends and family don't really understand but I'm hoping that will lessen the more I can understand about brain injury.

[cat3]

Hi Owlgirl. It's horrible when life takes such a sudden turn, and none of us are ever prepared for the strangeness of brain injury. Your husband's behaviour is classic and it's a regular worry for the many people who're left wondering where to turn, and with absolutely no clue where to begin.

Four months is early days and, with time, you can expect to see improvements as your husband's brain recouperates from the trauma and he starts to recognise and accept his change in cognitive status. Attitudes to the memory issues can swing from denial to anger/frustration, and it's a process which is pretty much 'wait & see' and 'trial & error' in learning to manage the various symptoms.

Meanwhile, please phone the Headway helpline on 0808 800 2244 (free calls - office hours) for free printed information explaining the after effects of brain injury, which you can share with other family members (including your man).

Knowledge is what will help you most so you're able to recognise signs & symptoms. And talking to staff on the helpline might give you some much needed reassurance. I'm the brain injured one but I'm well aware that it's often the carer/partner who gets the really rough deal.

But we're always here m'dear if/when you need a friendly ear (could be a Headway song ?) ................so hope to see you around. Cat xx

[Owlgirl in reply to cat3]

thanks for your reply to my post. Yes four months is early and my husband is having more better days then bad days so we are taking each day at a time, and when he comes home in few weeks as got a discharge date then the challenge will start but I am in contact with headway and yes knowledge is power as they say as i have been up many nights reading as much information, as I can and anything that will help really. I am glad I have found this site as reading the posts does help and make u feel less alone when trying to understand brain injury, and help the one u love the most in every way possible u can.

[Hidden]

Hi owl girl

I've written a reply to another lady whose in a very similar position to yourself with a husband who's had a recent bi.

When i had my bi 3 years ago, a stroke whilst at work, I didn't have what I call the classic stroke symptoms and didn't even realise I'd had a stroke despite having done 1st aid training. Although I knew something was wrong with me I didn't realise how serious it was. I thought my husband, doctors and nurses were barking mad. In hindsight I was in denial and very confused.

There were a couple of times when my 'out of character' behaviour upset people. Nothing major but at the time it seemed perfectly logical to me and felt like they were overreacting. Sometimes it felt like the shoe was on the other foot that they were behaving oddly not me!

My best advice is get whatever help you can and don't be afraid to push for it.

Regards your husband have you noticed if he's tired a lot? Its a very common side effect of bi and can affect your mood a great deal. If he does suffer with tiredness it might help to have routines and try and not let him get stressed or over involved with things as it can zap brain energy at an alarming rate.

Lastly please remember to take time out for yourself. I imagine you have so much to deal with right now and need to put yourself first occasionally.

Please don't be a stranger we're here to listen and try and help. x

[Owlgirl in reply to Hidden]

Husband is less tired these days so that is a positive sign. He has had days and weekend at home and not over exhausted himself. He seems to do better at home but even doctor says familiar enviroment helps alot with the brain injury patients. Hospitals make anyone want to try and escape and climb out an open window, but I cna only imagine at times how scary it is for him as four months of his life has changed so abruptly. He knows most days he has a brain injury and then sometimes denys it, but all depends on his moods at times. The agitation seems to be less but can be easily triggered by anything on news or in papers at times, so on a new medication to settle him seems to be having a better effect and not on his memory which is a relief. I am beginning to know the signs and thankfully he is sleeping alot better so that is very effective to his mood also. I am grabbing all the help offered, and recently been alot more support given and its also good to know u can sometimes get support when u least expect it from people u don't even know very well.

[paxo05]

Welcome Owlgirl.

As Cat has said it is early days. Accepting a you have a bi can be a long progress.

As for friends and family.....They may understand eventually. Sadly some friend you may lose. On the plus side through headway you will gain friends that DO undrstand.

It is not always an easy road ahead but with help you will get through.

Use this forum for help and advice or just to have a rant and let off steam.

Contact headway and find your local branch. They are invaluable for support and advice.

Pax

[Beckyv1288]

Hey

We are all here to offer advice and support, read through the stories and you will see how many of us are affected with brain injury or brain injured partners, its a relief when you find people in a similar situation and you know your not alone.

I have a brain injured partner after he fell (only the height of a door) and broke his back and suffered a bleed front and back of his brain although he is only now realising 2.5 years later that he has been unwell and what an affect it has on his family.

Keep strong and ensure you get support for yourself, its very easy for the injured to be the focus when you need support/help just as equally.

Your on the right place!!

xxx

[Owlgirl in reply to Beckyv1288]

Thank you, life can certainly be very testing and even though its not us who actually have the brain njury ourselves, trying to understand it all is all we can do when it is someone we love and who we want to help.

[razyheath43]

Hello my hubby also had B.I do give the helpline a ring they can put you in touch with support local to you,it is a hard long journey! you and hubby will get there in the end with support and doing things your way,take care

[Owlgirl in reply to razyheath43]

thank you. I know we have a long road ahead of us but support is being offered and I do realise how lucky my husband has been as medically he should not be alive, be here but he is and i am thankful he is very determined.

[steve55]

hi you will never understand a brain injury because you havent got one.

let me recommend a book.............within touching distance........beverley turner,james cracknell.