Hello all,
I am still struggling with wanting to die. It's not easy to admit or say, but I truly feel lost and stuck and unsure about everything in this recovery. I want someone to say it'll get better, yet I never believe them! Any advice?
I don't know how to pull myself back into feeling okay.
As someone who is 4 years on it will get better. It takes time - I know you have probably heard this over and over but it is true. The feelings of ending it all will pass - there is so much waiting for you to explore not just about yourself but the world. You are important and matter to all those around you . Hold in there - watch a movie , Go for a walk, meditate , do yoga, and just breathe - it will pass - you will improve . Xoxox
Please, MountainGirl, tell us more about your concussions and how you've sustained so many in your young life ?
And have your suicidal thoughts begun since your head injuries or do you have a history of depression dating further back ?
I'm wondering also whether you've had treatment for your mental health, with counselling, medication or both ?
I'd like to respond m'love but need to know more.... x
That sounds awful. Not knowing how to put oneself back together is one of the main issues with TBI and other brain injuries. Decision-making and cognition get so damaged it's difficult to think of solutions by yourself and then everything seems weird and confusing. I don't know if we're allowed to give advise, but I would talk to someone about how you feel, like a doctor or counsellor, a help line, any friends/family. Talking it out can really help. Sometimes we need someone to do the thinking and emotional regulation for us. Do you have anyone you can talk too?
I read that concussions can make you feel like you're dying 
it's frustrating as hell.
Very sorry to hear you're feeling like this just now and the fact you have reached out is very encouraging.
Have you asked your doctor for any medication and/or referral?
My friend who has had a tbi has had both and although it has taken a while to really take effect (and one meds change) she is improving post pandemic.
Hello MountainGirl. Here's my offering: if you have not already, you might find it helpful to talk, often at the moment, with a well-trained, experienced professional who can help you arrange and sort out your thoughts and ways of thinking. There may be all sorts of reasons why your thoughts at present keep centring on bringing your life to a close. Given your young age, some reasons might be directly connected to your head injuries and perhaps a resulting chemical imbalance, some might be habitual and established as a result of very early childhood experience, particularly around whether or not your natural emotional needs were met and how you feel/felt about that. There could also be a connection between the two, i.e. combined reactive thinking resulting from injury and early experience.
This is mere speculation; there are myriad situations that have associated cause/effect that can adversely or positively affect our daily lives.
To winkle out what thinking belongs where and why you're thinking the way you do at present, a good professional clinical psychotherapist is best-placed to guide and assist you I think.
It seems you're in the US, but I wonder if Headway might be able to advise you anyway, or perhaps suggest a similarly based charity in the States?
Headway: 0808 800 2244 | helpline@headway.org.uk
So, if you have not already, I recommend you try talking therapy with someone who really understands how and why our thoughts can lead us in certain directions, particularly when they're negative.
Am I a trained professional? No. I speak from personal experience only; always.
I hope you are able to connect with someone you can trust and talk to very soon.
Hi there,It will pass and will get better. Doesn't help but it will.
You need to talk to someone professionally along with your gp.
It may not feel like it but yo have a lot more to live for than not.
These thoughts do not just go away but you van get through it. Small steps, find what you really enjoy no matter hiw small a thing it is.
Fresh air can help. For me it was sitting in the garden. No matter what the weather, a good raincoat or umbrella works wonders.
I probably look stupid sat in the rain but it helped. Do what's good for you.
Please seek help, it may mean medication, but this is short term.
There is a future honest.
Pax
High mountain girl, it’s depression you have so whatever people say it doesn’t help but time helps. I personally think that you probably need antidepressants, also therapy. I speak from experience., I speak from where you are now, some days are better than others. Write a diary every day add, how are you feeling and after a month look at what you have written and see if you have taken a positive step in a positive way.
I am getting therapy and it’s helping so much yet I’m still getting down days, as sometimes the brain can only take so much that is why sleeping helps as it restores your mind and body. Being a Christian has helped me so much in a positive way. I was frozen inside myself for so long that I had so little feeling left inside me, but now I realise with help from my therapist that It’s not my fault.
When you begin to realise that your situation is not your fault it can help in restoring who you are. I’m still going through the process of finding out just who I am.
I want you to try to believe in yourself. Say out loud .. it’s not my fault mountain girl. Just think of climbing a mountain when you feel weak, you don’t get very far, but if you try each day to take a step up the mountain step-by-step, I can promise you, you will reach the summit. It may take a long time, but continue to climb. with love and blessings, Liz and Shelly🙏⭐️🇬🇧
the feeling of wanting to die usually comes from the need to stop how you are feeling or thinking .. this can be from a head injury and many other reasons .. I have had these thoughts many years ago pre my accident and TBI from this personal experience it dose get better with the right help from counselling to your Dr .. please take some help that will get you through these very difficult days .. sue x
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