what do i say how do i handle

[ncmurphy1951]

what do i say an elderly friend's wife just suffered a stroke she is paralysed down one side i know he or their daughters will phone me what do i say about any prognosis as i was fortunate not to have any paralysis help i dont want to say it will be ok look at me

[artangel]

Hi ncmurphy we are all different and we all need time it's much too early to say anything about friend's wife prognosis ask the friend or their daughters what have the doctors said first and then go from there, There is always hope, Dont tell them it will all be OK because even the doctors cant tell them that. Good Luck and dont stress they might not phone. Best Wishes

[Lubilu01]

Hi Neil, if they do call you all you can say is no two strokes are the same and the outcome differs in each person. We have been told this by the consultants over and over. As you probably know both my parents have had a SAH but the severity was different and my Mums doing pretty well but my Dad can't walk or talk and has been in 3 hospitals in 7 months. I would just be gently honest! X

[cat3]

I think artangel has covered what I think but just for the sake of support I'm giving my pennyworth. The truth is what's needed here, with a handful of hopefulness. And the truth is that none of us know the outcome but that shouldn't stop us hoping for the best.

[cat3 in reply to cat3]

My comments went into SEND mode before I'd finished. Just wanted to add that I'm sure you'll find the right words, Neil. Good luck. Best wishes. xx

[ncmurphy1951]

thank you all i did infact receive a call he clearly very upsety and scared all i could suggest as a survivor was that he try to spend as much time as possible by her bed fortunatley he is retired and to be with her the journey will be long and full of uncertainty but be there for her talk about life together and focus on the positives only the positives by the end he seemed much calmer and serene he promised to phone tomorrow after spending the morning with her i promised to pay them a visit at the weekend despite my liathing of hospitals after spending 16 months in them neil

[artangel]

Hi Neil, you are doing your best and standing by friends who need you, that's all any of us can do

Good Luck with the Hospital visit I know it wont be easy, Best Wishes

[ncmurphy1951]

thank you i learnt through bitter vexperience how valuable real friends are i have no intention of letting these people down

[TwoCakes in reply to ncmurphy1951]

Sounds to me that you did a great job; your friend was scared on the phone when they first called and after speaking with you they were serene. It seems to me that you offered something practical (spend time with her) and a space for him to talk by encouraging him to call you. I bet they really appreciate you.

[ncmurphy1951]

thank you i and my then fiancee discovered this action the hard way with my injury i fear the ladies proignosis is not good though

[cat3 in reply to ncmurphy1951]

Sorry to hear that, Neil. Thinking of you. x

[ncmurphy1951]

update of th finst news the lady is upo and about started physio even kicked a ball paralysis slowly dissapating