Post Traumatic Brain Injury

[Chelblue]

In June 2021 I suffered a Traumatic Brain injury. Since then I am really struggling with work and relationships.

I just don’t know what to do

[ipes2]

That is normal. You had a brain injury so you are a slightly different person. You have had a new range of (awful) experiences. You took time out of the world to recover. Whilst you took time out of relationships and work the world marched on. The new you with different experiences has to re-negotiate you place in the world. In my case I had to change career and my marriage collapsed. This upset me a great deal in so many ways. The truth is I changed so I had to start again. Accept your difference and be kind to yourself.

[Chelblue in reply to ipes2]

Thank you for responding and I hope you’re ok. I need to front up about being a different person and need to change my job but I am tied in due to the financial impacts which scares me so much.

[ipes2 in reply to Chelblue]

I worked in computing and earn't a lot . I tried to force myself back, but my brain had given up with computer science. I battled for 3 years and it was a disaster of job failures. I finally accepted my broken brain and retrained to become a teacher. Trying to force your brain to do something it rejects is going to cause you misery! May be accept you will earn less and more your focus to a different part of your role? PS: I don't recommend becoming a teacher - that will make you mentally ill

[Letsrock]

Hi, this was the same time as my injury. Yes it is a struggle and I am with you financial thoughts just hanging onto my job with a thread as they have said behaviour has changed but will not accept the brain injury and yet they call themselves the 2nd top employer of the year😆 no support from gp and no councillors in my area and nhs a waste of space.

Yes I just do not know what to do either apart from my gp saying I can only work from home and reduced working hours meaning less pay. I am trying to ask for re-employment meaning different job but for the same pay🙃

As the others say we are now different so have to accept and adapt in order to carry on which is very difficult.

Wish you all the best on finding your new self and job.

[Hidden]

do you find it hard to motivate yourself and just simply get on with things?

[Teazymaid]

I’m also in the same place , have y worked for 2 1/2 years TBI with physical injuries . Hopefully my last operation 4 weeks ago will help with my arms but the new brain isn’t working right . Short term memory word finding and emotional dead with anger issues .. and yes no counselling in Cornwall .. waiting to hear back from headways to see if they can help .. but you definitely aren’t alone . I think I am coming to realise that this is the new me I’m not sure how or if I can work wish you good luck and keep us updated on how it all goes sue x

[skydivesurvivor]

know that one well, am unable to work with mine! U were lucky!! Lost all my friends and most family who couldn’t accept the changes, they still see the old me. Hope am developing a much nicer character these days, their loss!!! Have u joined any clubs or simply have coffee with like minded people?

[Kay-7]

Sometimes I wish people would try to live a day or even a week in my shoes to see how it really feels.

I felt numb, in denial and was very let down by the NHS and the care system as a whole. I had a fast-paced job in Computing and tried to go back to it after my brain haemorrhage only to get my confidence knocked down for 5 years skipping from one role to the next blaming it on the company and staff. Until I finally admitted that it was actually me who just did not fit into the office-type "techie" jobs anymore. Since then I've gone to college and left, taken online courses and not finished them and changed job roles only to hate that too as it involved staring at a screen and being in a noisy office environment. I've also lost friends as they have stuck a label on me and treated me differently so they're behind me now. My family have forgotten and sees me as I used to be.

I guess what I'm getting at is by doing these things I got to explore and basically re-invent myself which is still an ongoing process to this day. Think of it as a chance to find yourself and do what makes you happy such as your hobbies and getting out in nature. Doing these things helps to clear your mind similar to meditation or breathing exercises. Currently, the only option I have is working from home part-time hours (sometimes less) as my home accommodates me better after my stroke. I literally googled work-from-home jobs and applied to every single one. I've made new friends online after taking up gaming again. Even after 8 years I still think of the life I could be living now but by resisting change I was doing more damage and the acceptance of it all took time but slowly, slowly, bit by bit each day I learned to embrace it as a lesson to be a more caring and compassionate person. By turning the pain into positivity I realised that society focuses on success and boxes that need ticking when we are in desperate need of kindness and healers.

Art really helped and also journalling to shift my thoughts and analyse them as I really did go to a dark place for the first year getting out of the hospital. You did the right thing in posting here as I wish I did earlier on in my own journey. I hope everything works out for you and after reading the comments on here you feel a little better and can share some common ground. I was surprised to find such similarities in the experiences shared.

[Leaf100]

HI Chelblue,Another IT nerd here who could not go back to work, at anything, post injury.

Mighty hard to accept that.

Luckily for me I did get reffered to a good neuro psychiatrist who did get it and went to bat tor me, I have a small work pension, and am lucky - and still see the totally shutting way the system treats people with brain injury. They just don't want to accept it, and are ticked about it, so anyway they can, they will screw you over, even if you had a good track record before.

I would check your options with an attorney- knowledge is power.

We all tend to underestimate the long term impacts, and we are unaware of the impacts, and you are in early days of recovery.

It takes time. What you experiencing is really major - we all go through it. And it is also true the medical system every much let's us down.

Even so, call Headway, get advice, get legal consultation, and do what you can for yourself. When you consult with a lawyer, ask who the friendly docs are- they know who is patient centred and likely to give you helpful reports.

Leaf

[Strawbs70]

Hello, work has def been he hardest thing to get back to. initially i had a really good boss who was really understanding of the struggles but I now have a new one who is terrible and causes me a lot of stress. I have now decided to move jobs, its in the same building but a different team, one who now me and what's happened and said they would love to have me. I have worked in my current role for 16 years and always been a good worker, I now need a little help and she is making my life difficult and stressful so even though I love where I am now and love the team, its time for a change for me before it makes me ill. Sometimes we need to make a change for ourselves to make our life easier as I have found it is more tricky these days.